‘Charmed’ 1×05 Review: Harry is All We Care About

There are a lot of time travel shows out there. Every week, as I sit down to watch Charmed, I hope, for a second, this can be one of them.

I want to go back in time to those days where I had hope for this reboot. I want to go back in time to the first time I watched the Pilot, when I thought it was a bit cheesy, yes, and entirely too on the nose, but I was willing to overlook that because I wanted to support diversity, and, of course, because shows should never be judged by a Pilot.

Besides, there are worse things that can be said about a show that OMG IT’S MESSAGE IS TOO FEMINIST.

Like, for example, this feminism is not at all inter-sectional, and I’m not here for another example of white feminism, much less one pushed by WOC, but that’s not even the point of this rant.

The show has gotten better, in some ways. It’s not brilliant by any means, but there are flashes of heart, and the three main characters have a believable sisterly chemistry that could be made to carry the show. It’s just that I cannot get over the casting, or maybe the lies?

If I could go back to – not before I knew, no, before the CW decided to promote this as an all latinx reboot, even known they had only cast one latinx actress. If I could explain to them how tone deaf the whole thing was, how insulting. If I …

And yet, I can’t. And every day, there’s someone out there who dismisses my words as me being just another ‘hater’ or worse, a white person who’s more than ready to explain to ME, a latina, why I should be happy with the scraps of representation I’m getting. And I’m really, really not here for that.

I don’t hate the Charmed reboot, no. My feelings are more complicated than that. I had expectations, I had hopes, and now I’m disappointed. (And to be honest, more than a little bored). The first I might have been able to get over, the second one? I’m not sure there’s any coming back from that.

So, let’s talk about “Other Women:

STAR –CROSSED LOVERS

Charmed — “Other Women” — Image Number: CND105b_0035.jpg — Pictured (L-R): Melonie Diaz as Mel and Ellen Tamaki as Niko — Photo: Robert Falconer/The CW — © 2018 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Niko and Mel have been one the highlights of this show so far, but this episode, despite the heartbreaking choice Mel has to make, and despite the repercussions that choice will have in the overall storyline, just falls flat. Yes, I am super-duper glad they’re framing their relationship as the Piper and Leo of this series, but the thing about Piper and Leo is that we were allowed to fall in love with them before they threw anything this big their way.

It’s been five episodes. We are people who care, yes, but no one cares that much, that quickly. It’s been a little over a month. Right now, if you told me this show was getting cancelled without one more episode, I’d shrug and go, well, they could have done better and probably never think about it again. It is WAY too soon for this.

But, whatever. That’s where this show went, and we will just have to pretend to care, or, hopefully, wait for them to actually make us.

Don’t hold your breath.

I WISH I CARED ABOUT ANYONE BUT HARRY

Charmed — “Other Women” — Image Number: CND105b_0238.jpg — Pictured (L-R): Rupert Evans as Harry and Sarah Jeffery as Maggie — Photo: Robert Falconer/The CW — © 2018 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

How did the ONE white guy become the saving grace of a supposedly diverse reboot? I don’t know, and I don’t really care, I just know he is, without a doubt, the best part of this show. Which, really, should tell you something about all the other parts of this show.

The only times I feel something, be it sympathy, or pain, or even an actual sense of connection with the Charmed ones, Harry is involved. When they had that conversation about family tonight, I felt that more than when it’s just the three sisters.

And this isn’t just about acting, though I think he’s probably the stronger actor in the group, this is about writing. Writing a straight white man, whatever demons he might have, is easy. And it shows. Writing diversity in a way that touches diverse people, not so much.

How I wish I could have cared about Macy, Mel and Maggie. How I wish this show could have been the representation I wanted, the one I craved. But I think, at this point, it’s time to throw in the towel. This show isn’t what I wanted, and it will never be.

WHAT CHARMED COULD HAVE DONE FOR LATINX REPRESENTATION IN “OTHER WOMEN”

Fake Latina GIF

Literally anything, at this point, would be better than what they’re doing. Anything. Because they’re doing nothing, and boy, have I given them ideas. Hire me to be a consultant and I promise I’ll have more.

As it stands, though, the three characters this show is based on are nondescript white women who don’t look outwardly white, but behave like they are. Yes, I sound like a broken record, but this is a really important point. Diversity isn’t just about hiring diverse actors, it’s about allowing their experiences to become part of the narrative.

Little girls don’t just want to see female characters that look like them, they also want to see female characters that speak like them, and that go through the same things they do, and come out ahead. That’s what a role model is all about. The other thing? That’s just window dressing.

Things I think I think:

  • Eh, Galvin, you okay?
  • As much as I appreciate the symmetry of the white male bad guy, eh …why do I care? Or fear him? Or like, anything?
  • WHY DO I STILL LIKE HARRY, WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?
  • I feel like I should like him the least.
  • Maybe he’s just the only one not pretending to be anything other than who he is – a British white guy.
  • I’m so not into this episode.
  • Like, nothing that’s happening really interests me.
  • And I thought I really liked Niko and Mel, but I’m just supremely bored by them.
  • Parker is either a demon, a creep, or likely both.
  • Either way, no to Parker.
  • Yes to Harry.
  • Macy, girl, no. Just a ton of no.
  • “Death is the only thing that can’t be undone.” So how long is this gonna last then?
  • Look, I want to be happy the tragic love story of this show IS the lesbian one, because about damn time, but I’m too meh about the rest of the show.
  • Can I just watch Niko/Mel videos and call it a day?
  • Oh, wait, no. I have to review this. Yay me.

Agree? Disagree? Share with us in the comments below!

Charmed airs Sundays at 9/8c on the CW.

Lawyer. Dreamer. Geek. Eternal optimist. Fangirl since the dawn of time. Hates the color yellow, olives and cigarettes. Has a recurring nightmare where she’s forced to choose between sports and books. Falls in love with fictional characters.