‘Krypton’ 1×03 Review: All that Glitters is Not Gold

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Okay, look, it’s been three episodes. Three whole episodes. One hundred and twenty minutes. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but after three episodes you should at least have a sense of something, when watching a TV show. The characters, the setting, the relationships. You should be invested in something. You should care about someone. You should, I don’t know, FEEL something.

You know what Krypton makes me feel? It makes me feel it’s the perfect time for a nap. Right there, in the middle of the episode. Any episode, really.

Sure, the show still has promise. How could it not, considering what it’s based on? At times, I’m almost at the verge for caring for Seg, and sometimes – though not as much in this episode as in the first two – I almost care for Lyta. That’s about it, though. My only feelings about Nyssa are that she looks badass and I want to copy everything about her look, and the rest of the characters I can barely remember.

A woman cannot live on promise alone. A woman shouldn’t have to.

Probably the saddest part about this show’s inability to make me feel anything is that – they actually, visually, do a really good job at selling Krypton.  But all that glitters is not gold, like the Shakespeare they’d want me to be equating to them at this point, once said. And this, honestly, just makes me wish they’d give that budget to Wynonna Earp and call it a day. It’s not like I have much hopes of this getting better.

You know what could have, should have saved this show? A ship. But the whole star-crossed lovers thing only works if you care about the characters, and if you have any investment in them getting together, and I really, really don’t. This is probably a writing issue, even though Campbell and Cuffe sometimes seem to have zero chemistry, I still remember that one romantic scene they had in episode one, and how then, it almost felt like I could ship them.

 

Those days are long gone. I feel nothing now, other than a tremendous sense of frustration for the missed opportunities here. Seg and Lyta should be an interesting dynamic, especially because Seg is to marry Nyssa and Lyta is to marry whatever his name is who I thought was going to be a bad boy and instead seems to be the only person who understands how the system works. But they’re not, and yet, despite that, they’re the bright spot of the show.

Are you getting what I’m saying? The thing that works best in Krypton is something that barely works at all.

So, let me be blunt here. I have to review the rest of this train wreck. You, however, have no reason to stick around. Flee now, while you can. There really is no reason to be here, and if you want to support SyFy, do it by watching their one show that actually really works.

That one’s called Wynonna Earp, not Krypton. Just in case you were taking notes.

Krypton airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on SyFy.

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