It’s been a month since we’ve seen Riverdale, a month folks. I’ve been eagerly waiting for this episode, hoping it would reclaim my love…and it did…BIG TIME. I don’t want to overhype the episode, but it may be my favorite of Riverdale’s otherwise dull and less drama heavy sophomore season. I don’t even care that they’re underutilizing my favorite new character, Chic. There are ships (two new ones!), sex-capades, and the reviving of a lost bromance. Let’s get into it! There’s a lot to discuss.
I Always Feel Like Chic’s Watching Me…
Listen, I was stoked on Chic. I wanted Betty’s long lost brother to make a muck of Riverdale and shake things up. Sure, he killed somebody “accidentally,” which was most definitely not on accident, as told by his recent creepy looming presence in the Cooper Household. What has he done since then? Nothing, except lurk around hard on Betty, in what can be described as a twisted interest in his sister?
I really hope the writers don’t go the whole Chic’s got a crush on Betty route. What brother showers in his sister’s bathroom when he has a perfectly good one of his own? Chic and Jughead finally meet and it goes as terrible as one would imagine. Chic lowkey threatens Juggie, saying that if it got out they covered up Shady Guy’s murder, things will not go well for Alice or Betty. Way to state the obvious Chic, it’s always bad when anyone ever in Riverdale, or the world, covers up a murder. I want Chic to be a worthwhile villain, not just a creep without purpose.
Let’s Go To The Lodge
Veronica, at the encouragement of her dad invites Archie, Jughead, and Betty to her rustic lodge in the woods. Hiram doesn’t want Veronica around because things are getting heated after the death of Papa Poutine. He wants Archie to look after her, but also sends his sketchy right-hand man Andre to keep a close eye in case things go south. I don’t know what is odder Hiram encouraging his daughter to go with her teenage boyfriend and her friends to a cabin un-chaperoned, or the fact that he thinks things have the chance to go terribly while they’re away that he sends his hired muscle to look after them.
The foursome goes on their double date weekend sleepover and drama goes down. Cheryl reveals to Jughead Betty and Archie’s post-Blackhood kiss and he takes it pretty okay. He’s more mad she didn’t tell him, not that it happened, which is pretty mature. What follows after isn’t so much, but man did it launch a new favorite ship. The group hops in Veronica’s hot tub, with margaritas in hand and discuss openly the kiss. Veronica suggests she and Juggie should kiss to level the playing field, and he agrees. They swap spit and now I’m firmly team Vughead/Jerronica/whatever the Tumblr kids are calling this couple. I might have shrieked when they kissed like my teenage self after witnessing the Jess/Rory kiss for the first time. Betty takes the kiss in stride, casually mentioning to Jughead, Archie and him are the only ones who haven’t kissed yet. To get his mind off the kiss, Betty conveniently brought her Cam-girl wig and they get to bone town. Archie, on the other hand, is not okay with his girl and best bro locking lips.
The next morning Archie meets with Andre in the woods and V catches him, because he’s the worst spy ever. Veronica gets mad that they’re sneaking behind her back and banishes Andre away from the cabin like the Queen that she is. To get back at Archie she flirts with a local shop boy in town. Back at the cabin, Archie and Jughead get back to being best friends again by chatting about their girlfriends kissing. They haven’t had a bromantic moment in what feels like decades, so I’m happy to see them back together. Jughead mentions he’s confused why the kiss happened and honestly me too. It has to be more than queer-baiting, right?
Later that night, Jughead gets word from FP that Hiram bought the trailer park and the Riverdale Register. Jughead and Betty misplace their rage and attack Veronica, claiming her father is trying to buy the town. I’m still really confused about what this SoDale project is. Hiram is snatching up parts of the town to what? Build a mall? Bury the town? I really hope this becomes clear soon because right now I just imagine him twirling his non-existent mustache in a dark corner.
Their tirade is cut short though when three guys in a The Strangers inspired moment robs the house. Luckily Andre never really left and “takes care of it.” This plot point doesn’t really sit well because honestly it feels like extreme product placement for The Strangers: Prey at Night. Also it just reiterates Andre will go to extremes to obey Hiram’s orders. Archie later meets with Hiram, where Hiram asks if he’s okay that Andre killed a young man, and shockingly Archie is. When did Archie become so extreme?? Archie’s still mad he didn’t get the Blackhood. Well, guess what Archie, I’m fairly certain that wasn’t the real Blackhood, so you still can get your revenge!
Cheryl Deserves Love Too
Cheryl’s attempt to derail The Lodge Double Date Getaway doesn’t go as planned, but it did launch another ship. I welcome you with open arms Cheryl/Toni ship. I refuse to call them Choni, I’m sorry. Toni calls out Cheryl for starting drama, but she knows Cheryl is acting out for a reason. Cheryl doesn’t give it up easily, but after the pair bump into each other at theater, her walls come crashing down. Let me put it out there, I’m not into this super heavy product placement Riverdale has got going on.
The episode shows a clip to Love, Simon and sure, it serves a purpose, but be less obvious. At Pop’s, Cheryl tells Toni she was once in love…with a girl. Penelope Blossom caught them and ended it. Toni reassures her that she deserves love and isn’t deviant like her mother told her. The moment that sealed this as another ship? When Toni tells Cheryl she’s “sensational.” My heart might have swooned.
-Penelope is still going strong as a Lady of the Night. The fact that she called her own daughter anorexic and attacked her for ruining her relationship with Hal is just wrong. I’d like it if she left town forever with Hal, like now.
-For being so wealthy, Veronica’s lodge has some pretty squeaky beds. I’m sure anyone in a two block radius could her them banging
-Kevin finally finds about his dad cheating on his mom via Josie. Everything gets sorted pretty tidily considering there was infidelity involved.
-Midge and Moose are back!
-Where’s Alice Cooper? Is she on some spa getaway to distract herself from covering up a murder?
-Why did the Coopers sell the Riverdale Register?? What’s going on???
Favorite Quote of the Episode
“Is that response to everything? Can’t they ever just have a conversation?” Jughead upon overhearing Archie and Veronica making some noise with their bed.
As you can tell I’m super stoked about the direction of Riverdale is going. Also can we please give Riley Keough a role on the show as Cheryl’s long lost sister? She wants to be on it!
Agree? Disagree? What did you think of the episode?
Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on the CW.