This week on Scream we learned what we all already know : do NOT go to an abandoned fairground alone, at night. And if some of us didn’t know that before, we sure as hell knew it after tonight’s Scream.
I was kinda disappointed this episode wasn’t titled “It”, considering all the creepy clowns. But hey, maybe there’ll be even MORE creepy clowns later on. (I’ll pass tho) Anyway, this week’s episode was titled “Jeepers Creepers.” which is something I feel like the Scooby Gang would say, but is also a movie with Justin Long and TWO more after the OG one. Long story short, it’s about these siblings that go on a road trip, find a pile of dead bodies and get chased by a cannibal. Cool. Never going on a road trip with my brother lemme tell ya.
Although there were no road trips involved or flesh eating killers, there was a lot of things that made me say “Jeepers Creepers!” in a Velma voice. So let’s break it down.
With Noah VO-ing the opening sequence, we get a good look at how our faves are holding up after the lockdown. Brooke was thisclose to chopping her luscious locks off before deciding to stab her pillows instead. Dodged a bullet there.
Audrey had figured out that her phone was MIA and proceeded to take her anger out on a punching bag that she was allowed to hang up in her room?? Anyway, she seemed super angry and I was glad I wasn’t the punching bag lemme tell you.
Noah was doing his podcast thing, ending it with an ominous sounding message about innocence. He still had Audrey’s phone and was still staring at the GIF that the killer had sent. Obviously he didn’t know what to do with the phone, but he wasted nO TIME putting a stalker like picture of Audrey in the center of the murder board.
Kieran showed up at Emma’s house, obviously not understanding when she said that she needed to be alone. Even Maggie was Protective Mom 1 until Emma invited Kieran in. Kieran tried to explain himself and tell Emma that the sheriff was going to arrest him if he didn’t turn Emma in. Emma was like “yeah okay I get it.” But it was still a shitty thing to do, Kieran. Don’t be selfish, dude.
Emma decided to then bring up that the killer had been calling her and even showed up at the school. Kieran, again, looked unruffled. He even got kinda upset that Emma didn’t tell him about the killer in the school. (???) I find myself becoming more and more suspicious of this kid. His range of emotions goes from disappointed dad to mild anger to maybe some annoyance.
Emma once again voiced how she couldn’t believe it was happening again. When she spoke about how she couldn’t believe Jake was dead and gone, Kieran, again, gave minimal amount of emotional support. Just a hand on the knee. I mean, maybe that’s how he deals with this sort of stuff, but like, come on man.
Once she was finished dealing with Kieran’s broody self, Emma went over to Noah’s. She had accepted the fact that there was in fact an accomplice and went to tear down the sheet that was covering the MurderBoard, only to find Audrey in the middle as a prime suspect.
After picking her jaw off the floor, Emma demanded answers. Noah mumbled his way through a response before settling on how he just had a feeling. Even though we know that he has Audrey’s phone, Emma doesn’t know he has Audrey’s phone.
Emma demanded real evidence against Audrey and then stomped out of Noah’s room, going over to what she knew was an equally crazy atmosphere, AKA Brooke’s room.
Brooke had stabbed all of her pillows and asked Emma to not tell Mayor Maddox about the whole thing. Emma then asked how Brooke was doing — as if stabbing pillows wasn’t enough of an answer. Brooke basically told Emma that she “high key wanted to die lmao.”
Brooke was 98% sure that Branson killed Jake because he was obsessed with her in a way that wasn’t like Mariah Carey sang about. Emma tried to tell Brooke that the 2% chance that Branson didn’t kill Jake was bigger than the chance that he did. Reminding Emma that literally anyone was a possible killer — hello? Emma’s long lost half sister, Brooke pretty much made up her mind that she was gonna go after Branson. Watch out Mr. B, a B is coming for you.
Noah had followed Audrey around all day, like a puppy, and Audrey was Not Happy About It. She caught Noah, because as you remember, Noah is not a good spy, and demanded answers. Noah made up some excuse about needing her opinion on what kind of bike he should get (???) and then slipped Audrey’s phone back into her bag before darting into the store.
I’m NOT here for the lying game that both Noah and Audrey are playing. People get hurt when they start lying to each other.
Audrey later found the phone in her bag and was all confused because she knew it was missing…..
Noah went over to Emma’s and came up with a semi-good plan; get Eddie (the DEAD motel guy) to not recognize Audrey. They texted Eddie and pretty much immediately got a text back saying for them to meet him in the fairgrounds by the fun house.
Just one quick reminder, Eddie was killed. So the killer was texting Noah, which means Noah and Emma are probably walking into a trap. But they don’t know that which adds MORE STRESS TO THE SITUATION, GUYS!
Brooke had called Stavo for back up in finding out where exactly Mr. B was when Jake was killed. Stavo was happy to do it and went on his merry way.
There was a nice little moment where Stavo reminded Brooke of the kiss and she got all flustered. So obviously there’s some ~feelings~ developing there. I’m excited to see how that plays out.
Kieran went to the sheriff to be his little bitch boy again and rat on his girlfriend. Though this time, it seemed like he wasn’t giving the sheriff as much info as last time. The sheriff played the dead dad card and tried to guilt Kieran into spilling his guts (just like his dad’s guts did last season….I’ll see myself out) but Kieran was not having it and stormed out of the office.
Stavo came back from his recon mission to inform Brooke that apparently Mr. B and Ms. L were banging the night Jake died. How dare he??? A woman his OWN AGE!??
Brooke didn’t believe the alibi and wanted to go straight to the source, which Stavo encouraged her to do. So either he could be a super bad influence on Brooke or like actually be supportive. I’m still trying to figure out his angle.
Back at Emma’s, Noah and Emma were coming up with a plan for their creepy meet up with DEAD Eddie. But before they could get very far, Maggie came in and acted like a wet noodle. She squashed Emma’s plans with Noah to go out after dark because, well, Jake was dead. As if dead bodies stopped Emma from doing anything last season. *eye roll*
Stavo’s cuddle sesh with Brooke was over so he moved onto his next target, Audrey. Although they didn’t cuddle, Stavo showed Audrey his art on his cracked tablet.
Audrey admitted his stuff was good, which got Stavo going on some tangent about horror artists. He got into detail about his graphic novel about “Murderville.” Audrey regretted the decision to not only look at the graphic pictures of her friends being torn apart but to compliment Stavo immediately and gave the tablet back.
Stavo pointed out that he was suspicious about Audrey, just as much as she was suspicious of him. Ahhh, these two. Can’t wait to see you two be besties sometime soon.
Calling up Ms. L, Brooke managed to play the pity card and have Ms. L meet her out in public so she could fake cry into Ms. L’s arms. She admitted that she was having a tough time and Ms. L fell for it immediately.
Then Brooke admitted that she was with Mr. B the night Jake died, which we know was untrue, but it still got Ms. L’s attention. She pried a little further with Brooke and Brooke played along, saying that she and Mr. B were still together. Oh you sly dog, Brooke. God I love ya.
After the conversation ended, Ms. L went back to her car to leave an angry voicemail to Mr. B, while he smoothly talked to Brooke. Brooke begged to see him and agreed to meet up with him later that night. She was playing him like a violin and it made me giddy to watch Brooke make her moves.
Noah was drinking bubble tea (I will never let this go, guys) as he waited for Emma outside the fairground. But, as luck, would have it, he had no service so he had no idea that Emma had gotten a flat tire after sneaking out of her house.
Noah decided to go into the fairground himself, which was stupid, and kind of out of character for Noah. This is the kid who knows all the horror movie logic and gets upset when someone says “I’ll be right back.” So why in God’s name did he decide to go into the creepy AF fairground by himself??
He realized his mistake and went back to the car, talking to himself the whole way. When he got back into the car, all we saw was his hand against the glass ala Titanic and then we saw that he was being chloroformed by the killer. Ha, that’s what you get Noah. Idiot.
Brooke showed up to the motel that Branson was staying at. The two of them immediately started making out, like hot and heavy make out sesh. Before it could get any further, Brooke handcuffed Branson to the bed and then tied his feet together. Branson thought they were gonna get into some BDSM type shit, but Brooke shut that ish down real quick when she pulled off the blind fold and had a tight grip on a pair of scissors.
Brooke demanded answers to where Branson was the night Jake died. And when Branson was hesitant in answering, she sliced the scissors down his face, ruining his perf features.
Branson finally fessed up and admitted that he was in the motel, waiting for Jake. Apparently Jake was paying Branson to leave town so Brooke didn’t have to see Branson anymore (awwwwh) but Jake never showed cause he was like getting sliced open. 🙁
Brooke took it one step further, wanting to really scare Branson. She talked about the girl that Branson was seeing before he moved — apparently she had committed suicide whoops. Brooke didn’t give a F, she dragged the scissors down Branson’s abs and was thisclose to cutting his dick off until she pulled away and gave him a shit eating grin.
Then she told him to F off and never return back to Lakewood. She even left him tied up to the bed. Classic Brooke.
While waiting for Brooke to come back from her adventure, Stavo was taking selfies with the Brandon James mask on. Question: Why? And knowing this show, that’s probably gonna come back to bite him in the ass.
Before he could upload them to the ‘gram, Brooke came into his room and gave him all the dirty details about what happened at the motel. She admitted that she didn’t like how dark things got and it still didn’t change the fact that her bae was dead. 🙁
Noah woke up to find himself tied to an old rollercoaster cart with seemingly no one in sight. Screaming his head off, Noah tried to get help, but it was clear that the killer had left him for dead.
In the midst of his panicked yelling, Noah found out that Audrey was also tied up to the cart behind him. Audrey started freaking out and the two of them started to try to escape.
After coming to the conclusion that they were probably gonna die, Noah felt it was time to start telling the truth. He flat out told Audrey that he had stolen her phone and saw the texts and the GIF. The two of them got into a heart breaking argument about telling each other things. I wanted to die, it was NBD.
Emma *finally* showed up at the fairgrounds. Kieran had fixed her tire and asked her not to go, but Emma ignored him and went anyway. She looked around for Noah, but ultimately went into the fairground, not realizing that the killer was right behind her, knife ready to stab.
Noah was continuing to word vomit about all the things he had lied about. This included how he kinda sorta loved Audrey and had always wanted to kiss her. He added that he knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere, but he needed to get it off his chest.
In a sweet moment, Audrey tried to make things better by saying that she would always love him, just not like love love. It was nice to see these two talk things out and maybe it meant that Noah could move on and get together with Zoe :)))))
Emma was walking around the fairgrounds, trying to find Noah, when she spotted the killer. The killer waved at her with the knife and Emma took off running and hiding behind old rides.
Noah had heard Emma calling for him and started screaming for help, forgetting about his H2H with Audrey. Audrey quickly tried to get him to stop because, well, she had tied them up. HA.
She had become suspicious that Noah had figured out that she was the accomplice and set about scaring Noah into thinking it wasn’t her. But that backfired on her because not only did she admit that she was the accomplice, but the killer had actually lured Emma and Noah to the fairgrounds with the texts from Eddie’s phone. So they had to skedaddle.
Luckily, they all ran into each other. Noah quickly updated Emma that it was a trap and Emma was like “No shit!!!!” They cowered behind something as they waited for the killer to come around the corner.
But instead! Kieran came around the corner (after ditching his trash bag cloak and mask) He had followed Emma to the fairground because he was a Disappointed Dad. Suuuuuureeee, Kieran, okay.
Making sure Emma got home safe, Kieran urged Emma to tell the cops what had happened. He even played the dead dad card to guilt Emma into tell the sheriff what had happened. Shitty move, Kieran.
But before Emma could get to the station, Kieran was already eager to tell the sheriff what had happened.
Oh also, they got the results back from the emails Emma’s dad had been getting from Riley and they came from Emma’s IP address so that’s probably something we’re gonna have to deal with later.
Audrey showed up at Noah’s ready to explain her side of the story. Noah didn’t bother to stop his recording of the podcast as he waited for Audrey to explain herself. She looked apologetic and guilty and even had a sad reaction to seeing her picture on the board.
In an emotional monologue, Audrey admits that she brought Piper to Lakewood because Audrey wanted help doing research for a documentary about Brandon James. Audrey even compares herself to Brandon James, saying that she was “alone, rejected and angry.” Noah’s eyes are welling up and he’s on the verge of tears listening to Audrey say how she’s paying for her mistakes and how she deserves it.
Noah quickly shuts her down by saying that she’s not a monster, but a victim and the two of them hug. She asks Noah not to tell Emma, but what she doesn’t know is that the podcast was still recording. Whoops.
Also, Audrey said she didn’t know that Piper was the one killing everyone, which leads me to wonder who was in the warehouse? Is Audrey kind of lying?
But of course, we can’t have an episode of Scream end on a happy note. Branson gets a surprise visit from the Worst Person. The killer cuts off Branson’s hand and then proceeds to iron out the wound. You know, like you do.
With that, we can officially cross Branson off of the list of potential killers. Or can we?
Lauren Conrad Episode Appropriate Gif:
Audrey Jensen “Well Shit” Tally: 32
- Noah’s shoulder
- Branson’s cheek
- Branson’s hand
- Branson’s stub where his hand used to be
- Brooke’s pillows
- That carnation
- The tire that Emma popped
- Noah and Audrey’s wrists
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