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‘Scream’ 2×07 Recap: “Thank You Again for Another Evening Steeped in Merriment and Friendship.”

‘Scream’ 2×07 Recap: “Thank You Again for Another Evening Steeped in Merriment and Friendship.”

screamWelcome back, Scream Team. After another heart pounding episode, we are left with more questions (as usual), a death and a lot of “AUGH” moments.

This week’s Scream episode is titled “Let the Right One In.” AKA the OG vampire novel to ask “How long have you been [insert age].” Get wrecked Stephanie Myers.

The Swedish novel was then turned into a movie in 2008 and one of the main characters is named Eli.

(via google)
(via google)

Although, TBH, the Eli character in the movie is a girl, BUT I DIGRESS. The novel/movie, is about a friendship between a little boy and a little vampire girl. The vampire girl teaches the boy how to stand up to bullies and the boy just goes along with whatever she says. Like he’s totally cool with her being a vampire. Whatever, guys, it’s a WEIRD ASS BOOK AND MOVIE.

ANYWAY. The only parallel I can make is the characters names, but if you think of something, let me know cause I’m curious. Does it mean Eli’s a vampire? Does it mean Eli’s killing all those people to HELP Emma? WHAT DOES IT MEAN.




But we’re here to discuss the newest episode of Scream so let’s get to it.

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We start the episode out with Eli creeping through some couple’s house. Just doing his daily morning routine, you know, making coffee, trying on Top Gun esque sunglasses and then staring at the couple who was sleeping in bed. Totally normal. Whatever, Eli. I still am skeptical of you.

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Emma’s morning routine was interrupted by the sheriff coming to the Duval house to inform Maggie and Emma that Papa Duval had been getting emails from Riley. We all know that Riley is D E A D but it turns out that the emails were being sent from Emma’s IP address. Awkward.

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After questioning Emma about the laptop, the sheriff also let it slip that they knew what happened at the fairground all thanks to Emma’s STELLAR boyfriend, Kieran. Emma was not pleased, and Maggie was downright appalled that Emma snuck out.

Okay, like Maggie has ANY RIGHT to be mad at Emma. She kept the Riley emails from Emma just like a SHIT TON of other things. Like both of these Duval ladies are at fault. Just talk shit out, Jesus.

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Audrey was still feeling guilty about spilling her proverbial guts to Noah and had no intention of telling Emma any time soon. She had pretty much ruined Emma’s life. But how much was she involved is my question. I’m sure Emma would understand if Audrey was like “All I wanted to do was make a documentary, not kill people.”

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While getting treated to an “I’m sorry I chloroformed you and tied you up in a creepy funhouse.” breakfast, Noah ran into Zoe. Zoe casually asked if he wanted to study with her later that day. Cuteness ensued and the two of them made my heart melt. Gah, I love them. Also, Noah had a date.

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Audrey knew it was much more than studying, which Noah didn’t get. He was in one of his “there’s a killer out there, we’re all gonna die.” moods. Audrey quickly put that ish to a stop and told him that they shouldn’t stop living their lives. She even mom-ed the shit out of him and told him to bring protection. Awh, friendship.

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Emma went to go confront Kieran because he betrayed her…again. Whatever. He was acting like such a dad; all he needed was a polo shirt. Kieran basically said he’d rather Emma be alive and mad than dead, which is cool I guess? IDK. Emma was not having it.

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Brooke was in search of Emma when she stumbled upon Audrey. She quickly told Brooke what had happened the night before with Branson. Audrey was extremely surprised at how Hard Candy Brooke got. 2x07_26

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Then Brooke dropped another bomb, revealing she had never let Branson go. We, the audience, know that Branson was disarmed (bye) by the killer and in the killer’s hands (bye bye) So this spells T R O U B L E.  2x07_28

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Emma ranted to Eli before her shift started about Kieran’s shittiness. Eli then informed her that before Kieran’s mom and step dad got in that car accident (oh, yeah) Kieran and his step dad had a fight so Kieran like blames himself or whatever. Ugh, okay, Kieran, you get pity points on this one.

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Zoe took Noah to the OTHER side of the lake where Brandon James “died” all those years ago. She told him that his podcast helped her catch up on all the shit she missed. When Noah asked where she was, Zoe tried to lie her way out of it, but Noah caught her. Zoe admitted that she was super depressed and did something stupid. :((((( Poor bby, I will protect you. (Unless that stupid thing was kill someone) Noah instantly forgave her, as you do with the girl you like.

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Zoe admitted that she didn’t need a study buddy, but had brought Noah to the lake so they could have a cute little date. She had even brought swim suits for both of them so that’s ADORABLE.

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Audrey and Brooke went to the motel where Brooke tied Branson up the night before. Audrey left a quick message for Noah, just to make sure he knew where she was in case anything went down. Brooke assured her that nothing was going to go wrong — they could take him.

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But when they walked into the room, there was no sign of Branson (!!!!) All that was left was his watch, pants and the sleep mask that Brooke had used. Both of them were visibly confused.

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Brooke didn’t know what could’ve happened to Mr. B, even asking Audrey if she thought he would tattle on her.  Before Audrey could answer, Brooke received a text from Mr. B telling her to “apologize” or else. She was supposed to meet him in the school at 2 in his old office. Ew.

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Noah and Zoe were enjoying their day at the lake; Noah was slowly getting over his fear of the body of water. Zoe took a couple of selfies on Noah’s phone before ignoring a call from Audrey. Kay.

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The two smooth talked their way into a make out session and my heart melted. I adore these two and I’m glad Noah talked out his feelings with Audrey in the last episode so that he could devote himself fully to Zoe. Augh, so cute.

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Kieran showed up to surprise Emma at work, but found her in a playful tug of war with Eli. Eli was trying to get her to forget about everything horrible that was going on and Kieran walked in at the wrong moment. He quickly stalked out of there and Emma agreed to go out with Eli. Ugh. Love triangles are the worst.

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Brooke was getting ready to face Mr. B by putting on her war paint — makeup, in Audrey’s room. Audrey advised Brooke just to deny the whole thing. Giving a little life advice of her own, Brooke pointed out that lying just never works out. AKA Audrey needed to tell Emma the truth.

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Before Audrey could do so, the killer texted her. She was to come into the school alone or Brooke was going to get the gif of Audrey hovering over Jake’s body. So that’s Not Good.

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Ms. Lang was at the school “grading papers” or as I like to call it, adding to her tape collection. She had tapes of all of her conversations with the Lakewood Five. What’s your endgame, Ms. Lang?

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She was interrupted by a banging sound in the hallway, then an unknown phone call. When she stepped back into the hall, she came face to mask with the Killer. Before the killer could stab her, Ms. Lang kneed the killer in the gut and darted away.

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That’s when she found Mr. B! He was still alive!! But then he got stabbed in the gut by the killer when Ms. Lang dodged the knife. Man, this guy has had a rough couple of days. Give him a break.

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The killer went after Ms. Lang, who tripped (eye roll) on the stairs, giving the killer time to catch up. The killer grabbed Ms. Lang and slammed her against the wall a few times, knocking her brains around and then tossing her over the side of the stairs like a bag of potatoes. Before the killer could get the job done, the janitor showed up and the killer took off.

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Taking the killer’s message to heart, Audrey convinced Brooke to let her go into the school first. She made up some lie about being able to run cause she wasn’t in heels. We get it, Audrey, you’re a tom-boy.

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See Also

Instead of the killer waiting for her, Audrey found the janitor who found Ms. Lang. Then she found Ms. Lang. GOOD NEWS THOUGH, Ms. Lang was still breathing. Also, Brooke sprinted by Audrey in heels. Ha, take that!

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Noah and Zoe had met back up at Noah’s house — since Noah’s parents were out of town. Noah had showed her how to use the recording equipment and Zoe caught sight of a file with Audrey’s name on it. Cue jealousy.

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Zoe had gotten Noah out of the bedroom so she could listen to Audrey’s file. She heard Audrey’s confession and decided to email the file to herself. Like, Zoe, what are you doing???

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After work, Eli took Emma to Wren Lake AKA Where Jake Was Last Seen Alive. (WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?!) on I guess a date night. Emma was wary, for good reason, but Eli convinced her to go through the gate into hell with him. Or whatever was past that gate.

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Noah had gotten protection in a very awkward scene with a all knowing saleslady and was ready to lose his virginity!! Woo!! He and Zoe made out for a while before Zoe started to take Noah’s pants off and threw a blanket over the two of them. Hehehe.

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BUT THEN THEY WERE AUDREY-BLOCKED!!! Apparently, Noah didn’t put a sock on the door or Audrey ignored it, and went flying into the room, only to wish she could erase her memory. Zoe left cause Awkward and Noah put a pillow over his raging boner, questioning Audrey’s actions.

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Audrey explained what had happened at the school, coming to the conclusion that the killer wanted her to find the body for some reason. Noah was still caught up in his list of movies where stairs are the reason for someone’s death. But, like, God bless janitors, the heroes we need.

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Sheriff Acosta had been investigating the farm where Emma saw all those old pictures of her — Emma told him about it before Kieran could. Then he found a picture of baby Emma with her dad, but her dad’s head was scratched out. He called Maggie and they exchanged cryptic remarks. Basically, they know something we don’t know, and it’s probably very helpful to figuring out who the killer is, but we won’t be told because PARENTS NEVER TELL THEIR KIDS ANYTHING IN THIS FRIGGIN’ TOWN.

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Meanwhile, Emma and Eli snuck into a house that was used to show people around, but when construction was shut down, it was just left there. Eli admitted that he snuck into people’s houses on the daily — trying to impress Emma yet again, it wasn’t working.

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Eli talked about how different Kieran was in Lakewood vs how he was in Atlanta. He told Emma that Kieran had put her in the role of the “perfect girlfriend.” and then thought that was a GREAT time to kiss her.

Emma was all “hold up, no.” and Eli was like “but I love u.” 2x07_99

But before they could Talk It Out, the smoke alarm went off. The two of them went for the door only to be faced with a wall of fire. Someone had set the house on fire so the two needed to skedaddle on out of there before they were burnt to a crisp.

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Lucky they got out through the garage. Emma wanted to call the fire department, but Eli shut that idea down rather quickly. He had a bad rap with the police (maybe because he breaks into houses, idk) so he just suggested they run and never look back. So they did.

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Oh right, Mr. B and the motel guy were in the tub upstairs. Yeah, they’re both burnt like toast. Awkward. Or who knows, Mr. B has survived his hand being cut off and being stabbed, so maybe he’ll walk out of this one too. MAYBE HE’S THE VAMPIRE!!

Thoughts?

Lauren Conrad Episode Appropriate Gif: 

(via tumblr)
(via tumblr)

Audrey Jensen “Well Shit” Tally: 35

Fatalities: 

  • That house
  • Branson’s gut
  • Branson’s body
  • The motel guy’s body
  • Ms. Lang’s head
  • Audrey’s innocence

 

 

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