Alright, folks, let’s start this Scream recap off with some sage advice I was given by one of my favorite English teachers of all time. Nothing good ever happens at carnivals. Nothing. Nada. Zip. I mean it. It’s a common trope in not only horror movies/shows, but just in media in general. And Scream def proves this. So shoutout to Ms. Iafrate, you called it.
This episode was named “Village of the Damned.” A movie which first premiered in 1960, but was remade in the 90’s with Kristie Alley. Yeah, it’s pretty old.
Basically, it’s about these blonde haired, blue eyed kids who have supernatural powers and go about killing other people. Woo! So are we to assume that Lakewood is the modern 2016 version of the Village of the Damned? If so, then we’re all F-ed. But let’s recap this episode, shall we?
Audrey was awoken by blood dripping onto her. First off, gross, secondly why? The killer had snuck into her room and decided to write “12 Dead” on her ceiling (how did he or she get up there????) and then an equally creepy message on her mirror. So I’m locking all the doors to my room tonight.
Audrey told Noah what had happened and the two of them counted off the 12 dead, coming up short because they didn’t know that Branson was dead. Awkward. But Noah gave Audrey a little bit of advice; to tell Emma about the whole situation. Audrey didn’t want to do it because of obvious reasons, i.e. the guilt and fear for Emma’s reaction, but it seemed to be a good a time as any.
Besides discussing Audrey and Stavo’s matching outfits, Noah also wanted to bring up the whole “Was Ms. Lang Pushed or Did She Fall?” conversation. Stavo directed the question to Audrey, knowing that she was there. There wasn’t much said between the two, just speculation before the mayor’s voice interrupted to talk about the carnival that was happening.
Brooke caught up with the group in the hall, all of them discussing what a No Good, Horrible Idea the carnival was. The carnival was in celebration of the town’s 100th Bday. WOO!
With all the murder going around, Noah found it hard to believe that it was still happening. Brooke urged them to come support her and her “dreams” to be crowned Lady of the Lake. Mostly because her dad was forcing her to do it, but she needed support.
All of the stuff in Ms. Lang’s office had been taken to the sheriff’s office as evidence. The sheriff saw that there was a box of tapes and stole the one with Stavo’s name on it. Like any good father would do.
After checking out Ms. Lang’s box of goodies, the sheriff went over to the house that had been set on fire last episode. The fire was sent intentionally, but that wasn’t event the worst part!
There were two burnt up bodies in the bathtub! We later learned that one of them was Mr. B, so I guess he really is D E A D. 🙁 Bye, Mr. B. Your death was oddly poetic.
Emma decided to come clean to the sheriff and told him that she and Eli had been in the house when it had been set on fire. The sheriff started asking about Eli and how much Emma knew about him.
Back in Atlanta, Eli had a restraining order taken out against him for sneaking into some girl’s bedroom. So that’s not chill. Emma hightailed it out of there afterwards — ignoring Eli’s attempts to buy her lunch. Em, come on, free food? No?
During the final Lady of the Lake class (??) Zoe showed Brooke her disaster of a dress. Coming to terms with the fact that the Lady of the Lake was more than just a title, Brooke decided to help Zoe out. She didn’t want to win the thing, but Zoe sure as hell did. GIRLS HELPIN GIRLS, YA’LL!!!
Back at the Acosta residency, the sheriff was destroying Stavo’s room, looking for the Brandon James’ mask. Stavo played dumb and demanded answers. Apparently, the sheriff listened to Ms. Lang’s tape and heard something rather unsettling.
We then find out that something had happened in Phoenix, before the Acostas moved back to Lakewood. Stavo’s friend died — by accident, and Stavo was like “hey, I’m gonna draw it.” The sheriff wasn’t a fan.
Then he basically insinuated that his son was the murderer, which Stavo wasn’t a fan of and went storming out of his own room. He’d probably have to clean that mess up, though.
Still suffering from his Dad-ness, Kieran went over to Emma’s to hear her apology before getting mad at her again. Emma told Kieran what Eli told her about the car crash and Kieran go super pissed about it, which was weird.
Then he went into Full Dad Mode, and was like “I forbid you from seeing him.” basically and Emma was like uhm??? It was weird, whatever. There’s some beef.
Audrey got a video message from the killer that showed Emma sleeping and the killer standing above her with a bloody knife. Creepy. The killer then called her and told her that if she said anything, there would be consequences.
So Audrey, being Audrey, called Emma and invited her to go to the carnival with her. According to her, they had gone together every year except last year. Awh. Gal pals.
Getting ready for the Lady of Lake meant taking shots of some sort of alcohol to calm their nerves. Brooke and Zoe were bonding back stage, giving each other put ups and so on. #GRLPWR
Noah snuck backstage to give Zoe a bouquet of cotton candy. It was adorable and I wanted to cry. They are so cute, I really hope they last. But this show likes to tear my heart out, so we’ll see. Zoah 4ever.
After Noah and Zoe ran off to go do cute coupley things like make out in photobooths and such, Stavo showed up. He stated how f-ed up the whole pageant thing was and Brooke didn’t really care for his opinions. She sent him away and finished off the flask Zoe had brought. Making Good Choices.
Eli cornered Emma and tried to explain the whole Atlanta situation to her. Audrey was just watching, all confused, holding a giant pink bear. (It later disappeared and I wanna know where it is)
Kieran butted his dad head in and demanded that Eli stay away from his rebellious teenage daughter. Eli taunted Kieran, saying that he kept the worst part of the car accident story to himself. Losing his shit, Kieran punched Eli and went HAM on his face. Emma had to pull him off of Eli and the two walked away as Eli yelled about he wasn’t the bad guy. MMMMMMMmmm, no you still are, Eli.
Audrey kinda sorta confessed to Emma that someone had been sneaking into her bedroom, since Emma had told her about Eli’s restraining order. Emma was concerned and then both of them came to the conclusion that maybe Eli was the one sneaking into everyone’s rooms. HMMMMMmmmmm
Brooke was VERY drunk when she got up to make her Lady of the Lake speech. She spoke from the heart, telling Lakewood to wake the F up and smell the roses. There was a ton of murder going down and she wasn’t down for it anymore. Brooke burst into tears talking about Jake and the whole thing was just too much for me to handle. She left the crowd stunned and stomped off the stage. Weaved Snatched.
After passing Brooke off to her dad (k) Emma went off to go find her
dad boyfriend. Kieran had been taken by the killer and tied up in the funhouse. So Emma went running off, ready to save Kieran.
Meanwhile, Audrey got a video of Emma running into the funhouse from the killer. She tried calling her gal BFF, but it went straight to voicemail. It was all going to shit.
Emma went into the fun house, glowing from the UVs and in search of her boyfriend. The killer lurked behind her, creepily, and made for some “omg he’s gonna jump out at her.” moments. But Emma continued through the fun house, only getting scared by the fun house attractions.
This deputy had been assigned to tail Emma for the night, which meant he had to go into the funhouse after her. Too bad the killer showed up, throwing him through some glass. IDK if he’s dead, but Emma tripped over him and came face to face with the killer.
She grabbed the deputy’s gun and fired off a shot (impressively with one hand. You go girl) The bullet hit the mirror and shattered the killer’s reflection. The killer went running off, Emma following after.
The killer burst out of the fun house only to be surrounded by cops. The sheriff forced him on his knees, hands in the air and Emma came running out after him, gun pointed.
The sheriff got Emma to drop the gun and one of the other deputies held Emma back. Another officer went over to hold the killer down and unwrap the knife that had been taped to it’s hand.
Yeah, turned out, it was Kieran under the mask. His mouth had been taped shut and the knife taped to his hand. It was a mess. The sheriff saw Stavo in the crowd and Stavo was all “bitch u thought.”
These two had a heart warming moment where Kieran admitted that he was in the car when his mom and step dad died. 🙁 But TBH I couldn’t pay attention because there was a strand of hair in front of his face that he didn’t brush aside or anything and it was SUPER DISTRACTING.
Also he said he was afraid of Eli stealing Emma away from him because Emma was one of the best things to ever happen to him. Awh.
Audrey came to the conclusion that she needed to tell Emma what she had told Noah. She didn’t care what the killer was going to do; it didn’t matter anymore. Noah gave her an encouraging knee pat in response. Nice.
Stavo snuck into Brooke’s room to cuddle her while Noah was getting knocked down a peg by Zoe. Neither of them were getting laid after the carnival fiasco. TBH I’m pretty sure only one of them wanted to.
Audrey was THISCLOSE to telling Emma about everything, but was [Jojo voice]: too little, too late. Emma had been listening to Noah’s recording of Audrey admitting to bringing Piper to town. Whomp.
Lauren Conrad Episode Appropriate Gif:
Audrey Jensen “Well Shit” Tally: 40
- Mr. B
- Eli’s face
- Kieran’s pride
- Stavo’s room
- Audrey’s mirror
- Audrey’s ceiling
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