Helloooooo ladies! This week on Supernatural aims to get our hearts a flutter! Dean Winchester has joined a dating service website! Yes! You’ve read that correctly! Dean. Winchester. Dating. Website. Don’t believe me? Well look for yourself!
Then: We are reminded of Cole and his mission to kill Dean, a result of Dean killing his dad when he was a kid. Sam and Dean rant about witches. How much they hate them. “They’re always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere. It’s downright unsanitary.” Dean explains perfectly. And, lastly, the tensions that have arisen between Cas and Hannah. That they are both starting to feel things for one another. Cas tells Hannah that her emotions are dangerous temptations and that they must continue with the mission. It seems like this episode we’ll see exactly whether Hannah and Cas will pursue those feelings… or not.
Now: A scantily clad woman races quickly down the street. She keeps looking around, over her shoulder. She’s obviously being chased. She turns down an alley and stops, catching her breath. She hears a noise and runs down the alley. She breaks her heel and falls. She grabs the heel and continues running… until she runs into Raul. He says that she needs to make a good argument. That this looks bad. She apologizes and says she’ll do anything to make it up to him. Just please don’t hurt her. He steps closer to her and says “What kind of message would that send to the other girls?” She grips the heel tight in her palm and stabs him in the eye. He shouts out and she turns to run. But he stops her. He takes his hand away from his eye. It’s not bleeding anymore. He scolds Tiana. Flashes his black eyes. (OH GREAT) He wraps his hands around her head and says there’s plenty more where she came from. And breaks her neck.
Sam and Dean sit munching on food. Sam’s reading the paper, trying to dig up another case. Dean is paying attention to his cell phone. Sam asks why they’re doing there. Dean says it’s because of the steak. That it’s the only place you can get decent steak for $10. His cell starts chiming A LOT. Sam asks him what those are. Why his phone is blowing up. Dean halfway explains that it’s “For… monster… stuff.” Sam nods, and then grabs Dean’s phone. He discovers that Dean is on a dating app (Here we go ladies!). Screen name is Impala67. Sam gets nosy and reads Shaylene’s raunchy conversation with Dean in the app. Sam is concerned for his brother. It could be anyone on the internet. That it’s too good to be true. Sam eats his words as Shaylene appears behind Dean. With A LOT of cleavage. “We… detoured eight hours so you can get laid?” Sam deduces. Dean shells out some money, very eager, and tells Sam not to wait up.
Meanwhile Cas and Hannah are in a motel room. They have a map and pictures hung up on the wall. Hannah crosses one picture off. Cas is on the computer. Hannah says that the mission is getting easier. That most of the rogues have come back to Heaven. Cas shoots back that they should find them all. Hannah walks away, and randomly strips in front of Cas. (Uh, what?) Cas asks her what she’s doing. She says she wants to take a shower. Cas is distracted. Hannah asks if it’s a problem to see her naked. He says no. He stammers no. Still distracted.
Dean is shoved by Shaylene into a wall. They’re about to get it on. But Shaylene pulls back, saying she forgot something. She reveals to Dean that she’s a hooker and needs to be paid first. “No cash for ass” Dean responds. That’s his code. Shaylene says she doesn’t want his money (What?). She says she’ll give him all the pleasure he desires once he signs over his soul (DOES SHE KNOW WHO SHE’S TALKING TO? Obviously not.) Dean says that she makes a persuasive case. She says she loves her job. “Really? Cause it doesn’t look like love to me.” Dean approaches her. Shaylene’s façade crumbles and she looks at him honestly. Obviously she doesn’t.
Hannah and Cas leave the motel. Cas goes to get the car and Hannah approaches the desk to check them out. She is stopped by a man. He is Caroline’s, Hannah’s vessel’s, husband. Named Joe.
The demon walks into the bedroom. Shaylene and Dean are seated on the bed. Shaylene, facing the demon, Dean facing away. When Dean faces the demon, the demon freezes. (Yeah you should be scared!) Sam comes out of the bathroom, two against one. Dean says that Shaylene explains the demon’s sex trade to him. How she was abducted and forced into prostitution. The demon starts mouthing off to the hooker and things get out of hand. “Demon from Hell beats trash from the streets.” He snarls. Shaylene grabs the angel blade from Dean and kills the pimp. Dean and Sam look shocked. “Well, that just happened.” Dean says. However, Shaylene did just kill the demon that would lead them to the one running the trafficking business. The brothers ask Shaylene if she knows who the demon is capturing these women. She says she doesn’t know. But then she digs into the dead demon’s pocket. She explains that she sees him handing out cards to other men. She finds one and hands it to the brothers. It says “Raul’s Girls” – a strip club.
At Raul’s Girls, a demon is trying to convince a girl to put on an even more revealing outfit than she’s already wearing. The girl refuses. Raul walks in with an eyepatch on. The demon tells Raul that the girl won’t wear what he picked out for her. The demon, Gerald, asks Raul what he should do. “What do you think?” Raul answers. They both look at the girl. But before they can kill them, another woman walks into the strip club. Raul says she’s in the wrong place. The woman asks if this is Raul’s Girls in a Scottish accent. Raul tells her that they’re not hiring and even if they were she was a little old. (Hah. Oh he’s going to die.) “No disrespect to your girls but I’d sooner die that do business of any kind with filth like you.” She snarls back. She takes out a hex bag and tosses it to Raul. Who promptly starts vomiting up his demon self on the carpet. “Ladies, you may want to stand back, this will get messy.” The woman says to the girls who have come into the room. Gerald smokes himself out of the room in fear. Raul collapses on the floor. The woman turns to leave, but stops. She turns back to two girls standing across the room. “You coming?” She says to them. The run after her. “Fabulous!” The woman gloats.
Joe is pleading with Caroline (Hannah). He says that she’s been gone a year and that he wants her to come home. He wants to know what’s going on. Hannah says that there’s a reason for all of this. She tries to tell him the truth. And then Castiel comes into the room. Joe asks who he is. That if she’s “together” with him. Hannah uses Cas as an excuse – that she left Joe for Cas. To prove her point, she kisses Cas. (Okay this is NOT the vibe I got from the promo! Aww.)
Sam and Dean walk into Raul’s Girls. Only to see the sight of Raul literally lying in his own filth. They analyze the scene, astonished that Raul puked himself to death. Sam pulls out the hex bag.
The Scottish woman is sitting in a French restaurant, across the booth from the two girls she saved from Raul. They ask what they’re doing there. A waiter comes up to the table. He complains that the two girls are not properly dressed and they would have to leave. The woman hands him a hex bag, recites an incantation, and the man walks away. Only to give them as much food as the table could possibly hold. The two girls are excited at the prospect of the food. They ask how the woman convinced the man to let them stay. “Magic.” The woman responds.
Crowley (Oh hai, Crowley!) sits in his throne room. Gerald has come to tell him what happened in Raul’s Girls. To tell Crowley about the witch. But Crowley is more upset by the fact that Gerald and Raul opened a whorehouse in Crowley’s name. Gerald pleads with Crowley. Said that Crowley said that soul deals were way down since Abaddon. And that he was looking for proactive ways to get new deals. “So you and your half-wit pal threw me into the sex trade? I’m evil. That’s just tacky.” Crowley says. Gerald tells Crowley, again, about the witch. Says that it doesn’t seem like something Crowley could let stand. Crowley rolls his eyes.
Sam tells Dean about the spell the witch used. That in the 18th century, demons were killed by a spell. Translated as “To Bind and Purge.” He says that it hasn’t been used in 300 years and was only known by the witch who created it. Rowena.
Rowena, the Scotswoman, explains to the girls exactly who she is and what she wants. That she got kicked out of the Grand Coven and is looking for some new witches. There are three kinds of witches: borrowers, naturals, and students. Borrowers steal powers, naturals were born with the powers, and student were the ones who could learn. She confesses that she was kicked out by the grand coven but that she wanted to mentor new witches. The girls, naively, agree to be mentored. They leave the restaurant, but not before watching the waiter burn from the inside. Rowena explains that some humans can’t handle magic. (Right. Anyone believe her?)
And, in a twist of events, we find Cole torturing a demon. With holy water. He’s looking to find Dean Winchester and know everything he can about him.
Cas is at the gas station, refilling the car. He tells Hannah that, at some point, they need to talk about the kiss. Hannah says Joe wouldn’t listen. That he wouldn’t let Caroline go. That she didn’t want to erase his memories so she decided to hurt him. Hannah asks why it hurt so bad. Cas says she did the right thing. That she gave him a reason to move on. He tells her about Jimmy Novak’s family and what he did. He says the mission comes first. Always. (Sure, Cas. When have you ever stood by that?) Hannah disappears.
Dean finds the restaurant and asks another waiter what happened to the head waiter. The waiter explains that another unusual thing was two hookers coming in with a lady. Dean meets up with Sam outside and relays the information. Sam says that another hunter, Darrell, has been working a case where there have been grisly hotel murders. The autopsy said all the victim’s brains had boiled. They decide to check out all the five-star motels in the area, to Dean’s glee.
Cas finds Hannah standing on a bridge. She says to him that she’s done. She wants the humans to come first, not the mission. And she’s decided to go back to Heaven. She confesses that she’s felt human things since being on Earth. Emotions for Cas, wanting to feel water on her skin. But nothing compared to the pain she felt when she felt Caroline “screaming out for him, for her life back.” Hannah says the feelings are not for the angels. That they’re for the humans. Hannah kisses Cas on the cheek and says goodbye. Her grace leaves Caroline and the human collapses against Cas. He tries to explain to Caroline who he is but she stops him with “Castiel. I know.” Caroline laughs.
A knock sounds on the door. Rowena gets up, asking the girls if they’re ready for some practice. She instructs them to read the spells she gave them. “Yeah, about that? I don’t read Spanish.” The blonde one says. “It’s Latin.” Rowena says. She opens the door, telling them to get ready. But the busboy’s body falls through the doorway, revealing two demons that have slit his throat. (Oldest trick in the book.) The demons have been sent by Crowley to retrieve the witch. The girls ask what will happen to them. Apparently, the dumpster is their destination. But the conversation is interrupted as Sam and Dean fight the demons, killing them. They approach Rowena, saying the beef’s with her and not the girls. The blonde girl orders her to do something. Rowena turns to the blonde girl, hands her a hex bag, and recites another incantation. Sam faces off against the blonde – an “attack dog” spell put on her. Dean follows the Rowena and the brunette.
The brunette asks what will happen to the blonde. Rowena says she probably won’t handle the magic and die. But that the brunette is strong and could handle the magic. The brunette agrees. She smacks Rowena in the face and runs away from her. Rowena holds up her hand, starting to cast a spell, but Dean stops her, holding a gun to her head. “Lady your luck has just run out.” He says. She laughs as she looks behind him.
Cole is holding a gun to Dean’s head. (OH COME ON. WORST TIMING EVER.) “Pal, we got to work on your timing.” Dean says. Dean pleads with Cole not to let Rowena go. But eventually he has to drop the gun. Rowena runs away. Dean faces Cole and apologizes about the way they met last time. Cole throws holy water on him. Dean explains that he’s no longer a demon, that he’s human because those who love him cured him. Cole asks if Dean was a demon when his father was murdered. Dean says no. Cole says he’s still a monster and hits him with his gun.
Sam is pleading with the blonde girl to fight what Rowena did to her. He locks her in a closet. She says she can’t. And screams.
Dean and Cole continue fighting in the alley. They try to make a grab for Dean’s gun, Dean throws Cole through a windshield. A little more scuffling, and Dean gets his gun and stops Cole before he grabs his.
Sam holds a gun to the closet door. But the girl suddenly stops banging against it. He opens the door. She’s pale and bleeding out of her eyes. She falls, dead.
Cole wants Dean to shoot him, but Dean says they’re going to talk. Dean hands his gun to Cole and says that if he doesn’t like what he’s going to hear, he can take his shot. Dean tells Cole that he hunts monsters. And that Cole’s dad was a monster. He proves that he remembers the case in 2003. That livers were being ripped out and eaten by Cole’s dad. Dean says he didn’t know what kind of monster Cole’s dad was. But the dad came home to kill someone – either Cole or Cole’s mom. Dean says that his father was already gone. The talk stops when Dean calls out to Sam who is pointing a gun at Cole’s head. He tells Sam to lower his weapon. Cole asks how he can believe Dean. “I get it. It’s your story. I’ve got one of those too.” Dean says. He says those stories sometimes blind them. That he was sorry he beat the crap out of a good man, just for the fun of it. He says that once you touch that darkness, it never goes away. That he’s past saving. And that his story will end at the edge of a blade or the barrel of a gun. (PLEASE DON’T BE FORESHADOWING!) Sam adds his two cents to Cole. That Cole has a family that is missing him. And that he needs to come back whole for his family. Cole sighs and hands back Dean’s gun. (Aww.)
Caroline walks up to her house, Cas sitting in the car. She tries to explain what happened. That she’s sorry. But ends up falling into Joe’s arms. They both walk inside the house and close the door. Cas opens his computer and searches for Jimmy Novak. He sees a Missing picture, and other pictures of him. (DON’T DO IT CAS)
Cole drives away. Home. Sam asks about Rowena. Dean says she escaped. Sam brings up what Dean said about being past saving. Dean shuts him down, saying he was just telling Cole what he needed to hear.
Gerald walks with Crowley, explaining to him what happened. That the Winchesters showed up and killed “Alpha team” but “Beta team” caught the witch. He says that she was tortured and he could finish her off if Crowley wanted him to. “Wipe that ridiculous smile off your face.” Crowley shoots back. He shouts at Gerald, asking if he wanted a medal for cleaning up the mess that he made. (Go, Crowley!) Gerald walks away. “Bunch of needy, squalling, incompetent infants.” Crowley grumbles, on his way to see Rowena. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees her, though. “The King at last!” She sarcastically praises, “King of what? Lilliput?” She keeps talking. And Crowley… says… nothing. Just, nothing.
Wait. What? What’s going on? OMG. NO. IS SHE—NO—NO—IT’S NOT. My mind recalls one of the first meetings between Crowley and The Winchesters. Where Crowley said his mother was a witch. NO. THIS IS SO COOL. *cackles*
The camera zooms in on a stunned Crowley, who finally whispers “Mother?”
AND THE FANDOM EXPLODES!