‘The Royals’ 4×05: Roberts Still Crazy and Jaspenor Is Still Goals

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Here’s the thing about The Royals, every week you have to think about who you will love and who you will hate. It’s an emotional roller coaster that you have to ride and hope that you come out the other side.

I’ve grown to realize that it’s not about the ships when it comes to The Royals. It has nothing to do with the people that I love together, it’s grown beyond that. It’s the intricate story that makes me root for some people and the things that they are going through, who I want to see win, and who I want to see loose. I’m invested in the storyline, the politics, and yes, THE DRAMA.

This weeks episode has the aftermath of the black out and Robbie making big moves. Moves that we can not get behind, but moves that we’re hoping someone calls his ass out for, soon. I need him to go.

I know we’re only 5 episodes in, but I’m just in desperate need of someone figuring out what an asshole he is and that he needs to be put in a mental hospital, cause the dude is certifiable.

Lets break it down.

ROBBIE SAYS CHECK MATE

Last week, the blackout took over London and we know that Robbie was behind it. But, now we know why. He was making big moves to set himself up to make huge moves for his future.

You know at the beginning I felt bad for Robert, cause he always seemed to feel that his fathers want to abolish the monarchy was because he wasn’t good enough and he seemed to want to prove to the world that he was good enough. Only, like – we all have parent issues. None of our parents are or were anywhere close to perfect and sure… half the time they give us all issues. BUT like get some good therapy and move the fuck on.

So Robert decides that he’s going to enact part of the constitution, the part that means that he can make Parliment go away. Yes people, we know now why Robert wanted to create chaos, because he wanted to make himself into the only one in power.

The monarchy is always supposed to remain neutral, but Robbie has broken that. He’s made sure that his voice, his opinion are heard above all. He wants to make it known that he’s in charge and that his opinions matter. Sure, he’s trying to act somewhat innocent, but he’s not innocent.

He’s a psychopath.

He makes it seem like he’s doing what’s best for the people, but he’s not. He’s doing what’s best for him.

He tells his Mom to relax. He tells Willow that he’s afraid that she won’t be close enough to the center of power, even though he knows that she fears it. He gives her this calming speech and I’m standing up screaming, “DON’T FALL FOR HIS BULLSHIT!”

But Lord, that’s a different story.

WILLOW YOU WILL BE WEEPING

I want to love Willow. I really do. But right now, I am not loving her. I feel like she’s dumb as f*ck and she’s not. She’s always been smart and she’s always been fierce, but like so many of us, we loose our shit when we let our hormones start talking for us. Willow does just that.

She lets her vajayjay get distracted by power.

I get it, we’ve all been there. We all get distracted by the pretty face and the man of power. Willow is still riding a high off the way that Robbie handled the blackout, only she doesn’t seem to get that he set it all up himself.

So Cassandra – the girl who was the front runner when Willow had removed herself from the list shows up at the palace. She wants time with Robert, but due to the circumstances going on in the country, Robert has no time. Cassandra tries to manipulate her into helping, but Willow doesn’t. She tries to tell her that she’s on the list, but backs down.

If Willow wants to be on the list, why is she finding it so hard to own her shit? That’s the part I don’t get. She seems to need a xanax prescription and some clarity. Which she doesn’t get when Robert invites her to watch his speech. Instead, she gets scared and at the same time almost euphoric over what is happening. She’s so close to the center of power, but she’s afraid of the power, and she’s so turned on by it.

When Robert basically tells her that he can’t do this without her and puts her first (cause you know when the President calls and he says like, I’ll call back – you know you mean something), she forgets everything and is distracted by his charm. Hell, I almost fell for his charm. When he says that crap about how he was told to never even dream about falling inlove but Willow gives him hope? Ya, for a second I forgot what a piece of shit he is too.

We all get distracted from the goal, especially if we don’t know what our goals are. BUT – that doesn’t mean we should. Let’s just get to the bullshit – ROBERT PROPOSES.




Anyone else stand up and scream for Willow to run as fast as she can? Cause I did.

KARMA CATCHES UP WITH LIAM

Liam is like Willow – led with his hormones and his heart. He doesn’t think. Why do I say that? Because he goes to Katherine. Oh Lord, I get that Robert said that they could pursue their relationship, but even Liam knows that his brother is a psycho. But hey – LOVE IS A STRANGE THING.

Katherine wants to know why he’s there – which I don’t blame her. Like dude left her high and dry, but at the same point he can’t help that either. We don’t know what it’s like to be royalty. We don’t know what he has to jump through. But ya, she’s got every right to be pissed.

I’d kick his ass.

But she’s back because they can’t find her Dad after the blackout. Liam being himself offers to get his people to help find her Dad. These men – these assholes are charming as fuck.

So they think they find her Dad in the morgue, but it isn’t him. Thank the Lord!

Turns out Katherine’s Dad was helping people after the blackout.

Liam didn’t leave Katherine’s side, helped her through the times. Look, I wanna love him, because I do. But I feel like there has to be a point where karma has to catch up with him.

MODERN DAY ROBIN HOOD

Eleanor going away to work on hotels was the best thing that ever happened to her. She learned how to grow, to give, and to love. So she decides that she wants to set up a charity and help people.

I love that she’s become this giving heart that wants to do everything that she can to help others. I mean I can admire that.

Well, it’s going to take awhile for her to set up her charity, she decides to go about it a different way. Why? Because Eleanor can’t wait to help people. She wants to be the person that he father saw her to be. She wants to be the person that people believe her to be.

And I can respect that.

So… Jasper told her about his Dad, and they catch him trying to steal candlesticks. It’s alright with Eleanor, she doesn’t care. She just wants to be happy and be in her life with the man that she loves.

I can respect that.

Jaspers Dad gives her the idea – indirectly – that she can take things from the palace and give them to the people who need it. That way they can get the help that they need while she sets up her charity. So she does just that.

She’s a  modern day Robin Hood.

But here’s the problem – she lies to Jasper about it. Maybe it’s cause she’s afraid of his judgement. But here’s the thing – them being in love – shouldn’t she know that he’s her ride or die? He learns quickly that she lied – because she said that she was going out with Rosie, only forgot to tell Rosie and Jasper relieved her and so he found out quickly.

She leaves the candle sticks for a woman who wrote a letter. It’s actually touching seeing the woman smile and her life be changed. Eleanor has recognized where she is, what she has, and how she can be there for others.

I admire and love her growth.

DADDY JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED

Jaspers Dad is fully of shit, but I have to say, he’s good at his bullshit. He tries to say that he wants to be there for his son.

He doesn’t.

He wants to run a con. He wants to teach Eleanor what it’s like to run a con. He doesn’t care about his kid.

He’s a liar.

Daddy Dearest is going to do something, but what it is – I don’t know.

OTHER THOUGHTS

  • Still hate Robert.
  • Will always hate Robert.
  • Need Robert to go away.
  • Jasper and Eleanor are perfection.
  • The writers have made such a commitment to growing these characters and I worship them for it.
  • Thank the lord we don’t have to watch Eleanor and Jasper burn.

The Royals airs Sundays on E!.

 





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