Adele’s off this week – so I sat down with a bottle of red and started watching episode 3 of the final season of The Vampire Diaries. Now, I may not have the same things to say about The Vampire Diaries that she does – but keep in mind – she’s a lot better at this than I am.
I’m just half way drunk and wondering what the hell I am watching.
The Vampire Diaries has long been one of my favorite shows, but this Sybil person – flat out, she’s a bitch.
Now It’s pretty fucked up that she’s trying to take over Enzo’s mind and that Damon has forgotten who Elena is. I get it – I get it – there is some place that the writers are going with this story and if there is one thing that I have learned – the writers of The Vampire Diaries know how to weave a really interesting tale.
Last week, I cried at the proposal that I have been waiting for – Caroline and Stefan. I gave up hope for Klaroline a long time ago, because the thing is – the writers have a plan. They always have a plan and I need to have the patience to watch them get there.
Weddings… they are such a beautiful thing. Alaric being okay with Stefan and Caroline – I ain’t buying it. No one is really okay with their baby mama moving on. But you gotta give Caroline the big thumbs up because she wasted no time starting to plan. I mean wedding dress shopping already?
I am gonna need that to happen soon.
As much as they would like to deny feelings with each other, even Sybil has picked up on these feelings. I mean we can all deny it, but we know that there is some serious sexual tension going on there.
So I am not gonna say that Bonnie ever has any easy choices – cause she doesn’t. Like I sometimes feel like the writers decide whose life they are really going to fuck with and they choose Bonnie. Sybil’s got some issues – she’s jealous of Bonnie and has made that so apparent. Like I wanna tell Sybil that there are plenty of fish in the sea and if there is anything that we have been taught throughout all these seasons is that screwing with Salvatore brothers will eventually leave you in some state of hell.
But speaking of hell, Sybil’s determined to show that she’s got the bigger balls/better magic and gives Bonnie an ultimatum. Which one of her mens – the one she loves in her deep subconscious or the one that she’s currently admitting that she loves – is going to go to “an eternity of darkness and pain”? Umm, I vote no one. Here’s a thought Sybil – bitchiness and jealousy are such petty traits – you should stop before Bonnie gets all that magic back and sometime this season makes your head implode as she puts you back into a cave where you will probably rot for eternity.
Bonnie calls Sybil on her bullshit and well… Sybil admits that she’s old as dirt. Cause she’s talking about ancient Rome. I want to know what kind of skin care she uses, but that’s just me.
So Sybil announces that she’s willed Damon and Enzo to fight to the death and Bonnie’s got like 12 minutes to make a choice. Someone give that girl a Xanax – cause that’s a lot of anxiety to put on someone.
So they are on the way there and Sybil’s being a real big “c u next Tuesday” (sorry, I had to – cause like HOW MEAN IS SHE?) and Bonnie like slams on the break and sends her flying out the window. But like Bon, lets be smart here – pissing off an immortal is never a genius idea.
But we’re giving you a standing ovation for the attempt.
Crap happens and it’s not life altering things that you need to know about. Well technically you may, but the wine is speaking for me and I personally don’t give a crap about what just happened.
BUT… here’s what you must know.
Bonnie makes a choice and chooses to spare Enzo’s life. I guess she’s not sticking to the “bro’s before hoes” mantra (not calling anyone a hoe, it’s just a saying). Bonnie is so loyal and here’s the thing – even though she’s willing to do anything, Caroline should have never said a damn word. Big ups to Caroline though – she’s stepping up to the plate and being like the uber protective best friend.
So – here’s the thing. Sybil isn’t a person of her word and she tells them that Enzo and Bonnie will both die, unless her turns off his humanity switch. Enzo turns off his humanity switch. I guess he hasn’t learned from watching the many times that the Salvatore brothers have done that. But he’s all like “you can bring me back” to Bonnie. Um, WHY IS IT ALWAYS UP TO THE WOMEN IN THIS SHOW TO BRING THEM BACK?
I have to say though – I have a whole new respect for Enzo cause he really loves Bonnie.
But Sybil being a bitch, wants to go back on her word and let Damon rip Bonnie apart. Homegirl can not catch a break.
Until Alaric shows up and saves the day.
Sybil got captured, but you know – being immortal and all that shit – who knows how long that will last. That bitch is crazy. CRAZY! Like criminally insane.
And the show ends with Damon sucking the blood out of Tyler Lockwood. That’s right – Tyler’s back. I have missed you Michael Trevino. I have missed him, but if he comes back to just die, I am going to be pissed. Kill someone who doesn’t have hot abs.
Side note – totally get that all the flashbacks are a nod to the series, but it feels like I am watching Arrow in those moments and we all know how much I hate that shit. Overall though – B+ episode.
The Vampire Diaries airs Friday’s on The CW.