The Royals 3×04 Recap: “Our (Late) Dear Brother’s Death”

“Hello, mum.”

That was the small sentence that sent this jam-packed episode off. Robert is back home leaving his mother and younger sister passed out on the palace floor in complete shock. Once Eleanor and Helena are awake and clinging to Robert, Cyrus swings in drunk or high (or both) out of his mind to spring Simon’s death on Robert. That leads too Mr. Hill handing the files about Robert’s death and Simon’s death, along with the actual footage of Simon being murdered, to Robert. Soon after that, Robert FINALLY shaves his beard off. We can all rejoice now!

Liam is still shagging his unknowingly alive brother’s ex. Kathryn and Liam can’t revel in a nice, comfortable morning for too long before Jasper interrupts them and alerts Liam to return the palace. You know Jasper was being serious because he called Liam “Your Highness.” All of the shots of Liam running to the palace and stopping in the door frame to see a figure standing by the window exactly mirror the scenes from the pilot when he found out that Robert was dead. This time Liam is finding out that his late brother isn’t so late after all. The brothers share a sweet hug and then head to the throne room to hang out. While Robert is reminiscing about the last thing his father ever said to him, Liam is doing his best to discreetly text Kathryn, telling her he will talk to her later.

A family meeting was well overdue after Robert’s return. Helena tells her children that everything about Robert needs to stay under wraps for now. They will announce his return at the press conference scheduled the following day, which is where Helena is announcing that Liam and Eleanor are indeed Simon’s biological children. Robert runs his family through his rescue mission that involved MI6, military, and a secret drop-off at the palace tunnels so he could tell his family that he was back in person.

Eleanor is off getting work done this episode. She has an interview with Vanity Fair to help the family image, but she is taking more control of this interview than I think we’ve seen in the best. She wants the interview to have a special angle or point of view and such. It’s nice to see her take on things like this. It seems like she’s really enjoying it. Jasper ends up bursting into Eleanor’s room shortly after her call with Vanity Fair to see how it went and bumps into Robert. Eleanor brushes Jasper off as Liam’s security detail, but Robert is on to her.

Robert can’t spend too much time worrying about what his sister is up to because he has two seasons worth of royal drama and scandal to catch up on. After a quick dive into the past thanks to videos and files, he meets his brother for a drink at a place that Simon and Robert used to go and they plan a walk that night in honor of their father. The brothers banter about when they were younger and how Robert always sided with Eleanor until they end up at Kathryn’s place. There Robert gives Kathryn the shock of her life by proving that her ex-boyfriend isn’t really dead. Like the good guy I assume Robert is, he wanted to tell Kathryn in person. Liam and Kathryn have to be incredibly awkward and pretend they haven’t been sleeping with each other, which a little funny to watch.

Liam returns to Kathryn’s later that night and breaks things off with her. Kathryn says, “This morning feels like a lifetime away.” Oh, it’s funny because it was – Robert’s lifetime. It was mutual, and I didn’t find myself being to heartbroken over their split. Liam on the other-hand, he had a very sad and brokenhearted ride home. And you know who was there to pick up the pieces once poor Liam returned to the palace? Dear Uncle Cyrus. He says, “Tomorrow, you will be invisible.”

Now, it’s worth mentioning that Cyrus was out of his room and looking better than he has in weeks. Well, we owe that to the very determined Veruca Popperwell, Cyrus’ ex-wife and the Duchess of Essex. Not only is she besties with Helena, but she also literally slapped sense into Cyrus. Verruca wants to have her daughter Penelope rule and herself to be Queen Mother. She will not stand for Cyrus’ attitude about giving up the crown. She advises him to start loving himself and become “the man she used to love to hate.” By the end of the episode Cyrus announces that he’s “back, bitch.” He also took the whole “love myself” mantra to heart and is sleeping with his double.

There is also the reporter named Crenshaw who is sort of blackmailing the royal family regarding a story about Robert’s return. Robert swoops in and knows exactly how to handle Crenshaw; he basically says do things my way and I’ll give you a quote, otherwise, you’re out of luck.

Eleanor looks to Liam for advice of how to go about introducing Jasper to Robert. Liam assures her that the most natural way would be the best. Jasper seems to be avoiding Eleanor, his feelings being hurt from the harsh introduction and all, so Eleanor goes to drastic measures to get his attention. And by that I mean, she holds up a help sign in front of the private palace cameras, nearly giving James Hill a heart attack. Eleanor ends up in the library and Jasper finds her there but so does Robert. Jasper presents himself in an American accent and Eleanor says he’s American because they scour the world for the best of the best. Robert shakes Jasper’s hand with a protective glint in his eye. I’m excited to see where this goes.

Eleanor and Robert meet up again in the episode to visit his tomb. When are they going to remove that thing? Eleanor still feels an agonizing amount of regret for not calling her brother like she was meant to. Robert promises that it’s all in the past, and she shouldn’t let it bother her anymore. They talk about their father and how important his opinion of them was. Their conversation ends with Robert telling Eleanor that their father would be incredibly proud of the person that she has become and that Robert likes seeing her so happy.

That leads us to the big press conference at the end of the episode. The press is told about the DNA results and shocked about Robert’s return. The room is instantly full of gasping press members and flashing cameras when Robert takes the podium to talk a bit about his time on the island. He gives an inspirational speech about hope and his newfound mastery of patience. Helena assures the press that Cyrus is ready to step aside, which he isn’t. He is gearing up for World War III. Eleanor tells everyone that she’s in a good place, and we get a glimpse of her writing a letter to Jasper. Liam tells everyone how hard it is to lose someone, obviously talking about Kathryn, but the press assumes he is talking about his brother. Robert assures the press, the people, and the people watching around the world that he is ready to rule. We also see him get the one item he previously mentioned out of storage. It’s an hourglass. Also, that bed he has been speaking so fondly of, he’s not sleeping in it. What’s that about?

Not only did Robert have the first line of the episode, he also had the last.

“Dare I say, we’ve only just begun.”

Some bits and bobs from this week’s episode of The Royals

  1. I am very upset that Sara Alice wasn’t in this episode. She has become such a favorite of Loyals. 
  2. The music in this episode was amazing, like always. 
  3. I caught that Robert writes his own speeches, and that makes so much sense. 
  4. Robert and Liam were wearing nearly identical leather jackets at one point in this episode. I loved every minute of it. 
  5. We saw that portrait of Simon again, so cue buckets of my tears.

A new episode of The Royals airs next Sunday at 10/9c on E! 

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