Hello! It seems like years since the last episode of the Bachelorette – when in reality, it’s only been one week. However, next week we will be treated to not one, but two episodes to make up for this travesty. Just what transpired this week? (Spoiler – lots of Lee drama). Read ahead to find out!
The episode immediately picks up from the previous week, focusing on the drama between Eric and Lee. Okay, anyone who’s a fan of the bachelor/bachelorette franchise has no doubt read about Lee and his previous tweets. Let me say, this guy is a awful. He needs to be let go ASAP, but given this information was leaked after the show filmed, I guess we may be stuck with him for a bit. Yay.
It’s hard to believe we are this far through the season and the Tickle Monster is still kicking. She must really love those giant, inflatable hands of his?
Dean is wearing a pineapple shirt. I love Dean.
The guys have a conversation about the correct pronunciation of the word ‘quirk’ and if I had to take a drink every time it was said in about a 90 second period, I would be black out drunk right about now. Maybe that would help with watching this disaster? Perhaps that is an experiment for next week.
Kenny is the latest to have it out with Lee. Kenny appears to be a mildly sensible guy (in terms of this show, at least). So I feel that getting into a fight with him really shows a bit of Lee’s character. Dean feels like Kenny wants to ‘knock him in the fact’. I’m thinking he may not be the only person with that opinion…
After catching wind of all the drama happening in the house, Rachel starts to feel the pain that every former contestant on this show goes through – she wonders if she’s doing the right things because she’ll be ‘judged by the decisions she’s making’. She’s very emotional about it all, and decides to end the cocktail party right there and go straight into the rose ceremony.
With all this drama, we just know that Lee is either going home or will be the last one given a rose – for drama!
Rose recipients, in order of call:
Dean and the pineapple shirt
Last rose: (fingers crossed for Diggy and his bowtie) LEE. Ugh. Too bad at this point Rachel doesn’t know how awful Lee is, otherwise she’d be having no part of this, producer involvement and all.
Diggy, Bryce and some other guy who is fully unfamiliar to me (sorry guy), are now headed home.
The guys then find out that they are heading to Hilton Head, South Carolina for a few days. It’s so beautiful there (based on the footage they’re showing, I’ve never been). We quickly find out that the first one on one is going to Dean, yess!
They start the date by having a little picnic on the hood of the Jeep-like vehicle they are driving (maybe it is an actual Jeep, vehicle connoisseur, I am not). They chat, kiss, snack and notice that a blimp is slowly making it’s way toward them.
I’ve always wanted to see the inside of a blimp, so this is going to be a good time! Dean has a phobia of heights so he is a little nervous about the whole situation. The inside is different than I would have thought – it’s almost like a bus, which seats on either side. Both Dean and Rachel get to steer it for a little while and then go sit down in a couch-like area in the back of the blimp. DO ALL BLIMPS HAVE COUCHES?!
This obviously spurred me on a 20 minute Google search that lead me to find that getting a ride on a blimp is extremely hard and only done a few times a year, mainly by Goodyear. Thanks for crushing my blimp-riding dreams, Google.
After the ride, Rachel and Dean sit down to have an emotional conversation in which he talks about the death of his mother, and how that really made him realize the importance of family. This quells a few of Rachel’s questions about him, because at 25 he’s the youngest guy in the competition and a solid 6 years younger than her. I don’t think the age really matters much though, because ‘maturity’ has such wide depth. Some people are extremely mature at 18, some are extremely immature at 40, it’s all relative.
Needles to say, he gets the rose and then they show up at a random concert when they dance and kiss on a raised platform. I always find these bits so funny. I guess it’s decent promotion for an up-and-coming artist, but when the contestants make it seem like it’s their ‘favourite band’, it’s like ‘we know the game you’re playing here, don’t even try to hide it’.
Everyone aside from Jack (who I probably couldn’t recognize in a lineup until just now) are heading out on a boat ride around Hilton Head. It doesn’t take long from them to start to break down with some good (and horrible) dance moves. As Tickle Monster takes the floor, the guys chant “hey Tickle” which is both amazing and sad, all at once.
When you’re on a boat, you have to pretend that you’re on the Titanic, yes? I feel like that’s the premium rule of boat riding. It happens on this boat, I approve.
In contrast to the super physical competitions this show usually throws at us, this wee they’re going for something a little different – a spelling bee!
The Bee is (obviously) hosted by Chris Harrison and will be judged by a bunch of tween/teen girls who I feel are going to be horribly upset by what’s about to transpire. A shot of the audience is shown, and Adam Jr. (the blow up doll) is also in attendance. I love that running gag. I hope it lasts for as long as Adam does.
The first few words are ridiculously easy: Squirt, passion, etc. The biggest revelation is that Tickle is apparently a doctor? Like a real doctor, who didn’t buy a certificate from like www.yesitotallyamadoctor.com or something? I really want to know more about this guy. But alas.
The Bee eventually comes down to Kenny and Josiah. Josiah has to spell “polyamorous” for the win, and he does so. The 12 year old judges are definitely shaking their heads right now and rededicating themselves to school, so they can end up better spellers than these guys. Actually, that’s an insult, they are definitely already better spellers. No doubt.
After the Bee, there’s another cocktail party, as usual. Josiah is drinking some kind of (alcoholic) beverage out of his winning cup. Own it, Josiah!
Peter says he would leave Wisconsin for the right set of circumstances, and Rachel says that she’s actually licensed to practice law there, so that’s a win-win. I hope Rachel ends up with a normal life after this show, I really do.
Iggy once again uses his 4.5 seconds with her to talk about Josiah – they’ve never showed a clip with her when he’s not talking about someone else, we know nothing about him because of it. Send Iggy home, Rachel!
The show ends with more drama between Lee and Kenny. There appears to be some kind of confrontation between them, and the previews for next week show Kenny with some blood on his face. BUT with this show, we know that’s probably totally unrelated and he probably like, trips and hits himself on a coat hanger or something.
Anyway, stay tuned for next week and two nights of episodes. I can feel the excitement from here!