Well friends, we are another week closer to finding out who will steal our girl Rachel’s heart. In this episode, the guys will be taking a cutting from six to four to reveal what may be the most obvious set of hometown dates in the history of The Bachelorette. Seriously, even the most casual of viewers could have seen her picks coming. But anyway, I digress. Sit back, make yourself some type of summer-themed drink (may I suggest frozen wine cocktails?) and let’s do this.
The episode starts with everyone jetting off to the newest location of love and wonderment – Geneva, Switzerland! Personally, I’ve been to Zurich, so I’ll do my best to add input as someone who’s been to the other side of the country, exactly once. So trust me, I’m an expert.
Rachel does her voiceover looking extremely Olivia Pope-esque in her white ensemble.
We find out that there will not be a rose ceremony this week. Instead, there’s going to be three one-on-one dates and one three-on-one date. You can already probably tell who is going on what date already.
DATE ONE: BRYAN
Bryan has been a frontrunner since the start, it’s easy to see why he’s constantly getting roses, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s the one to eventually ‘win her heart’ in the end. The date starts by them going watch shopping in Geneva. Here, let me jump in with my ‘expertise’. As someone who has bought a watch in that country WITHOUT being served champagne and the salesman wearing white gloves, those things are expensive, insanely expensive.
After deciding what watches they both like, Rachel states that she is going to buy the watches for the both of them as a present. Sure, Rachel. We all know that the store that was just prominently featured in this bit is giving you these watches in exchange for promotion. We know the deal by now.
They chat some more about their upbringings, Rachel went to a private school that was co-ed, while Bryan went to an all-boys school. That sounds like a barrel of fun!
One moment that may come back to bite him, is that on this date is that Bryan alludes to the fact that they may be ‘going too fast’. Given that they’ve probably known each other about six or so weeks by this point, and have maybe spent 10 hours together, than yes, it is very fast.
It doesn’t yet matter though, as he easily gets a rose. Then, a partial orchestra plays above them as they kiss. It’s very awkward, which you know, is basically par for the course in this show.
DATE TWO: DEAN
In his date card, Dean was told to show up in his “Sunday best” so he’s all cleaned up, wearing a white dress shirt and dress pants when he meets Rachel.
We quickly find out the “Sunday best” was an illusion to church. They’re going to a a French Catholic mass together. Dean doesn’t seem to enthused about this idea, but he goes along with it.
After an awkward looking church service, they dance in the streets a little bit and Dean starts showing his nerves about potentially bringing her to meet his family. Rachel keeps asking him some serious questions, but he keeps deflecting her and throwing questions like “what’s your favorite dinosaur?”’ back at her. Hey, Rachel, that is a very serious question! Can a Stegosaurus lover be compatible with a Velociraptor lover? We’ll never know, because we never get an answer to this age-old question.
In the evening portion of the date, they go back to the serious questions for a while. Dean says that his family is “not a family that you want to meet.” He’s not close with his father, who pulled away from him once his mother died. He says his father is very eccentric, and if the previews from next week’s show are not misleading, that may be an understatement. He is afraid that she will judge him by his family. Rachel assures him this is not the case, and that she’s looking forward to spending more time with him, so he also gets a rose.
DATE THREE: PETER
Peter shows up looking very under-dressed for what is about to transpire – they are taking a helicopter ride to see the Alps. We’re treated to some views that are incredible on TV and even more incredible in person.
The helicopter touches down and we find out they are about to go… dog sledding? That seems a little weird for Switzerland. Guys, just take a pop up to the Jungfrau, it’ll be more fun and less cold!
It’s hard for them to have a serious conversation when Peter’s beard and hair are filled with snow and both of them are clearly freezing to death.
After surviving the Alps, in the evening portion they appear to be sitting down to goblets full of rum and coke? It’s probably not the case, but it sure looks like that’s what Peter is drinking (respect, Peter).
They have the usual chat of what his hometown is like, who she’ll meet, etc. He maybe gets a little too honest when he says that he won’t necessarily propose at the end of everything, if he doesn’t think it’s the right thing to do. Rachel does not seem overly pleased with this statement, but gives him the rose anyway.
But for real guys, could you not see this top three coming a mile away? It has been plainly obvious for weeks now who has the most potential to go all the way. The fourth person to join hometowns might be a wee bit of a toss up, but the odds on favorite has to be Eric.
DATE FOUR: ERIC, MATT & ADAM
Adam starts off the date by stating in his interview that “our relationship is as strong as anyone’s in the house” – really, guy we only know from his look alike blow up doll?!
In this date, they start by jumping on a boat and heading over to France for the day. The water is very loppy/choppy and I hope none of these guys are prone to seasickness, because there’s the potential for some very bad times ahead.
Once they (safely, non-sickly) arrive, Adam gives a nice toast, which results in Rachel deciding to first take Eric aside for a chat. FORESHADOWING, ADAM.
From there, she has a chat with Matt. Matt, I probably could not tell you one interesting fact about him. This is why her sending him home is not a surprise. She tells him that she sees herself in him and that in a different set of circumstances they could have been a good match.
This leaves only Eric and Adam for the second half of the date. The three of them awkwardly sit at a small table together. She first talks to Adam, and nothing really of interest happens, just some bantering and she calls him the “optimistic to her pessimistic.”
Her chat with Eric is a little more enlightening. Eric states that she would be the first girl he’s ever bought home to meet his family and he talks more in-depth about his family and upbringing. He grew up in Baltimore, his dad and uncle were both drug dealers and he used positivity to cover a lot of the pain he felt as a child. I mean, as I’ve said before, I don’t necessarily love Eric but I applaud him for getting himself out of what could have been a very bad situation.
After all of that – it’s rose time. You know what’s going to happen – she picks Eric, and just like that, the top four are set.
That’s the end folks! Tune in next week when we’re treated to some very interesting hometown dates!