The Bachelorette Finale – Did that really just happen?

Let me start by saying – for the majority of this season, I thought Rachel was one of the most sensible bachelorette’s in this history of the show. She was very poised, thoughtful and seemed to be making good decisions. This goodwill was thrown away in the span of one episode, in which she chose a ring over happiness.

Exactly what all went down? Read ahead to find out. 

We pick up where the previous episode left off – the date with Peter. They talk, debate about the fact that he doesn’t want to get engaged (more about that later) and yet she still offers him the fantasy suite date, which he takes her up on.

They must have had a great night together, as they wake up all refreshed and apparently.

BRYAN

Please explain why this is romantic.

Why do people often think that horseback riding is romantic? I Just don’t get it at all. You’re side by side, on a horse that, if spooked, would gladly throw you from it’s hundreds of pounds back, you have to concentrate on not falling and there there’s… the smell. Irregardless of my thoughts, this is how the day starts off for Bryan and Rachel.

After the ride, they drink some wine and chat. The conversation gets awkward for a bit, as Rachel is still upset about her conversations with Peter the day before, that her read really isn’t totally ‘in the game’ today.




The date is generally uneventful. They go out for ‘dinner’ and she’s wearing a very 80’s esque dress with big shoulder pads and she ends up offering him the fantasy suite for the night. Obviously, Bryan takes her up on that offer and off they go. They wander around their room for the night, chat and then the door seductively closes behind then.

In the live show, Rachel says that in the fantasy suites she had a list of questions to get through for each guy, including family concerns and questioning if the have health insurance! I mean, that is an important question, especially if you are American – from what I hear anyway.

ROSE CEREMONY

This is not going to go well for one of us.

In a bit of foreshadowing about how the rest of this show is going to go, Rachel shows up to the rose ceremony in the weirdest dress she’s chosen all season. It’s orange with arms that look like she’s about to morph into one of the x-men and take everyone out.

All the guys show up nicely dressed, unknowing who’s about to get shot in the heart, with no love to blame, giving Spain a bad name.

Prediction:
1st – Bryan
2nd – Peter
Eric goes home.

She once again goes on and on about how she wants a proposal at the end of this thing, so Peter is obviously feeling like he’s about to get the boot.

Actual:
1st – Bryan
2nd – Peter
Eric goes home.

Rachel tells Eric that she loves him, but she isn’t “in love” with him. He responds by saying that he will always love her, which is sweet, but is it real? Eric does seem like a decent guy, I feel like he matured a lot over the course of the show. But that being said, I don’t think I’d want to see him as the next Bachelor.

Chris Harrison says that ‘at his viewing party, people were shocked’ by Eric getting the boot. At my viewing party of 3, people were not.

Back live, they bring Eric out on the stage and he’s channeling some major Drake vibes with his beard and suit. Things are very awkward between them, as you would expect and he ask ‘how her heart is’. Oh sure, my cardiologist thinks I’m fine, I probably just shouldn’t participate in reality tv love competitions for a while…

He says he was very confident in the last rose ceremony, because when she went on the rant of wanting a fiancee, he figured Peter was on his way out. Tricked ya, Eric.

FINAL DATES

We get some hilarious shots of both men walking through fields, looking longingly out windows, JOURNALLING. It’s all hilariously cheesy, which ya know, is the lifeblood of this show.

Up first:

BRYAN

Frankly, I am getting annoyed with all this sky transport.

Bryan says he would propose to her right now. Which is one of the problems with Bryan, he’s overly confident and not really believable most of the time. OMG they’re getting on another sky transport! This week is a hot air balloon. Last week I went on a tangent about how this show is obsessed with all things that fly. Don’t try too hard to figure out if the camera operator is on the balloon with them or if its a steady cam, it’ll stress ya out.

In the grand tradition of giving last minute cheesy gifts, Bryan hands over an English to Spanish dictionary with key phrases highlighted. Did he go through all this trouble? Or did the prop guy make it? We’ll never know.

PETER

I don’t think I should have opened this door.

After literally about 5 minutes with Bryan, it’s time for Peter, and friends, this is where everything shoots to hell.

Rachel says that she is a ‘lot of scared’ going into today with Peter. They meet up, hang out in the mountains of Spain, visit a monastery, it’s not the most exciting of days, to be honest.

It’s in the night that things go down:

Peter says that he is falling in love with her, and that moving forward he can see himself sharing “football games and baseball games” with her – c’mon Peter, those are the worst two sports! (In my extremely biased opinion!)

Basically, he is very logical about the fact that they have not spent enough time together at this point to get engaged, but he really wants to pursue a relationship outside of the show, but that just isn’t enough for Rachel.

The thing that doesn’t make the most sense here is the fact you can tell Rachel is CLEARLY into Peter, I feel like if she had said ‘yes, I’ll give you that ring’ it would have been a non-contest and she would have jumped into his arms and called it a life. It’s really sad that a potential relationship was basically thrown away all because of a ring.

They exchange I love you’s – and she flat out tells him that she loves him, but she can’t say goodbye. THEN DON’T, RACHEL. This is the moment when I went from siding with Rachel to debating every decision she’s made on this show. She really threw Peter over because of a ring? That’s the impression me and my watching team are left with, at least.

When all is said and done, we get a shot of Peter, with tears rolling down his face, asking the camera what’s wrong with him. Nothing Pete ole friend, it’s not you, it’s her.

Not all the rum and diet 7up in the world is going to get me through the rest of this show.

PETER ON STAGE

Hello from the other side.

Back live, Peter comes out on the stage for one of the most awkward segments of all time. First we’re treating to a shot of him backstage, where this is all clearly still affecting him, and he’s having some strong emotions. I guess this is basically why we’re getting a live show combined with footage, because it’s so unorthodox.

Peter once again reiterates that he wanted to be with her badly, but he just didn’t want marriage in that moment. I feel like the fact that he didn’t want an insta-engagement is incredibly reasonable. They’ve probably spent less than 24 full hours together at that point, it’s hard to get to know someone in that short of a time frame.

Rachel says that maybe this show is not for him, if he can’t commit on a quick basis. To which, I don’t know, I don’t like that comment from her, because there’s also such a thing as things happening too quickly.

BACK TO BRYAN

Could somebody tone down that wind, plz?

Like every prior contestant, Bryan meets up with his new BFF Neil Lame to pick out a ring that hopefully she’ll wear for 2 years, or otherwise it’s back to Neil!

Rachel is feeling a little bit off about her last meeting with Peter, and doesn’t know if she’s ready for meeting up with Bryan. Umm.. possibly because you really loved Peter and are not really feeling this whole Bryan sitch?

But anyway, they meet in possibly the windiest place in all of Spain, which creates some incredible back noise in the microphones as they are trying to have this dramatic moment. It’s very distracting but also kind of welcome, as I’ve stopped giving AF at this point.

They get engaged. Well Rachel, I hope this all works out for you.

I’m done at this point. The whole Peter drama was way too much. It was clear she wanted him. Bryan is just such a smooth talker, I don’t know if this will work out in the long run. But, I suppose, in reality none of these couples ever stick together, so we all take comfort in that.

The show ends with us getting a preview of what we’ve all been waiting for PARADISE!

Stay tuned friends, the best is yet to come…



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