This week starts with our Bachelor friends making their way to Costa Rica – which makes me think that the budget for this show has increased since last season? Also I’ve seen no egregious “Two Oceans” promotions thus far. Two Oceans is a wine that must have heavily sponsored the Bachelorette Canada last season, because it was featured, label out, in every single episode.
As the show opens, we start with a monologue of Chris saying he ‘is truly here for love’ we should hope so, Chris and that you’re not just there for the free food/Two Oceans or something.
The girls arrive at their new home and Jessie states that she loves it because there’s “three pools and a waterfall”. I feel ya, girl. I’d be into the exact same thing, and the free booze, of course.
Shanti expected more ‘high quality women’ because of her past as a model? Oh dear. She goes on a rant so intense that one of the other girls says that ‘she thinks she’s got something wrong up there’.
All the girls are standing around a pool and you can clearly tell these girls are fresh out of Canadian winter, because they are pale. Probably paler than I am, and my father has been calling me “Casper” for many years now. Dee owns a spray tan business, she should have hooked these ladies up!
Chris Harrison 2.0 shows up to announced the lucky lady (??) who is going to get the first one-one-date. There will also be two group dates in this episode. Chris 2.0 leaves by telling them to ‘have fun and wear sunscreen’ so he’s obviously noticed the pale-ness too. Lindsay is the recipient of the first date, I have no strong feelings one way or the other about her thus far.
ONE-ON-ONE DATE: LINDSAY
For the date, the two of them are flying over an active volcano, because just like the American counterpart, this series is absolutely obsessed with sky transport. The date goes as well as a Bachelor date can, until her age comes into play. He asks how old she is, and when she says 23 he’s pretty surprised by it. Chris is a full 10 years older and he says she probably still has a ‘lot of growing up to do’. But in comparison with some of the girls we’ve met so far, she’s probably a better choice than many.
Group date one will be:
Shanti is adamant that “Chris asked me to stay so he wouldn’t send me home yet”. She keeps getting ‘brought down by a bunch of weak little girls’. They could not be more obvious that she is playing the ‘villain card’ if they actually photoshopped a photo of Cruella de Vil over her head.
In the second part of Chris and Lindsay’s date, they hang out in a fancy tree house that I would like to live in. However, the age gap is weighing on Chris. Lindsay tries to assure him that she’s more mature than a lot of girls her age and that she’s not looking to go from guy to guy. She was at the point already when she was ready to get engaged, but it didn’t happen. He gives her a rose, based on their conversation.
FIRST WINE SPOTTING. The bottle is turned to the side though, so we cannot accurately see if it’s Two Ocean’s or not.
Back at the house: Shanti goes on another rant about how amazing she is and how the other girls are bringing her down. It usually takes a while to get annoyed with someone on this show, but not this season! I’d take Alpha Brittany over her any day. She is so condescending toward the other girls and you can tell they are super, super annoyed by her. She says none of them cook and clean (umm they’re basically on vacation here) and says Chris won’t want a girl who doesn’t know how to do either. Umm okay, how about the fact that perhaps Chris can cook and clean just fine on his own and doesn’t need a stereotypical woman to do that ‘for him’. Maybe he wants someone who’s inept in the kitchen and HE can cook for. Stereotypes are abound here, and I don’t like it.
GROUP DATE ONE
The clothes that are picked out for the girls range from a classic red “Baywatch” swimsuit to whatever the hell they’ve done with poor Meghan by putting her in “1800’s Beachwear”.
The photoshoots are all fairly non-eventful, until we get to the “Mermaid” Lisa. She puts on her tail and you can tell that Chris is clearly annoyed that this whole mermaid business is coming back again. He attempts to pick her up, tail and and all, but actually ends up dropping her full on in the ocean. Lisa is none too pleased by this, especially given the fact that she cannot get back up without assistance. It’s so awkward that the photographer actually comes over to assist with the situation, and to get her safely out of the water.
During his photoshoot with Catie they straight up start making out, which makes all the other girls very happy. Slash not.
Back at the house, the other girls are very unhappy to find out that Shanti will be joining their group date. What is clear is that this show is not for Shanti, any girl who gets on like this is clearly terribly insecure. Come on girl, you obviously seem to have a good life, why do you have to act so harshly toward everyone else?
Back at the night part of the group date: Which gives us our first Two Ocean’s close up shot. This show is so shameless that it’s almost funny.
Mikaela is the first girl to take Chris aside for some chat time, and as soon as she sees Catie get close, she starts making out with Chris. Catie is clearly awkward and doesn’t quite know what to do. There’s all kinds of awkward kiss/almost kiss situations in this cocktail party.
Chris tells Meghan that making him kiss the fish ‘broke the ice’ between them. She also aggressively goes in for the kiss. In her camera interview, she talks about how she falls hard and fast and she doesn’t want to get rejected by Chris.
The date rose pops out, and eventually it is given to Catie, who seems very surprised, but not as surprised as Mikaela.
GROUP DATE 2
Chris decides that it’s too hot to do something ‘sporty’ with the date two girls. He says that they’re going to hang out at the house for a bit, and you can tell that the girls are not into having to share their time. He promises there’s something ‘for the other girls’ planned for later on.
Chris takes Shanti aside and she tells him there’s a lot of ‘two faced behaviour in the house and the other girls are not ready to get married’ and she says they’re probably jealous of her. Oh man. This girl. I don’t even know what to say about her at this point. I don’t even know how a person can have such a huge ego? I don’t even know if ego is the right word here.
All the girls are talking about how they’re having a great time, and Shanti causes drama again by leaving the group. You can tell Chris is even getting annoyed by her behaviour. Of course she is the one to tell Chris that Dee has a daughter and she is PISSED. I feel Shanti’s time in the house may be drawing to a close sooner than later (fingers crossed).
Chris tells Dee that Shanti should have minded her own businesses when it came to her daughter. Shanti leaves the group once again, but this time Chris doesn’t go after her, and you can tell she’s angry about that.
Chris talks to her to determine if she’s going to ‘all be drama or if they can get behind this’ it’s the former, Chris. Oh is it ever. He says all his conversations with her have been very dramatic, and he asks if they can ‘part ways the right way’. I’ll commend him for this decision, and the producers, for not making her stick around for too long. Which probably would have happened in the USA version.
Chris decides not to give a rose out tonight and to wait for the rose ceremony to make his decisions.
Noah comes in to say that there will be no cocktail party tonight and they’re going to go straight into the rose ceremony. At least they appear to be having a rose ceremony each episode – here’s looking at you, Bachelor USA.
At this point, my stream gave out and would not reload. There was no way I was going to go back and rewatch this full hour (streams are hard to come by for the Canadian version!). So, I googled to find out, and only one person was sent home during the rose ceremony, that being Ashley, who’s name I don’t think I have mentioned here yet, so that’s no surprise.
Stay tuned next week for more drama, and perhaps, in true Bachelor style, a new villain!