‘Riverdale’ 2×17 : Will Somebody Please Save Cheryl Blossom?

Another week, another Riverdale. Archie reclaims the black hood. Cheryl gets locked up. Penelope Blossom is still evil. Let’s dive into Riverdale’s “The Noose Tightens.”

Toni Saves Cheryl


Cheryl is sent away to the crazy wacko nuns of The Sisters of Quiet Mercy for her “conversion therapy.” These nuns need to be locked up. First Polly, now my beloved Cheryl. She’s forced to do manual labor of carrying super heavy sacks across the basement floor.

Meanwhile, at school, Toni brings up how hella weird it is that Cheryl would just leave for a boarding school in Switzerland, and not post any pics. Toni has only known Cheryl for what I can surmise to be maybe a month or so, and she already knows her M.O. while her friends have the intuition of hamsters. Veronica and Josie agree it’s odd she hasn’t been active on social media and the trio pay a visit to Thistlehouse, ie: Red House of Doom.

Penelope fesses up she sent Cheryl away for her “deviant” behavior and produces Cheryl’s uber-creepy drawing of her and Josie. Remember that one episode storyline where Cheryl had a bizarre obsession with Josie that came out of nowhere? The one we chalked up to the spookiness of the episode? The pic is just enough to lose Josie. Later Toni gets a phone call (somehow, at school?!) from Nana Rose, who says Cheryl was sent to the Sisters. With a little deduction work, V and Toni put it together with the assistance of Kevin that Cheryl was sent to the Hags of Quiet Evilness. Apparently, it’s a well known the Sisters still run their “conversion therapy” program, BUT nobody does anything about it. How?

Why? Toni and V use the secret underground tunnels of Riverdale to break into Quiet Evilness and break Cheryl out! There’s an epic kiss between Toni and Cheryl that was so romantic to the extreme that I might have had a few tears.


Bye Bye Chic


Betty and Jughead should have known the car they sunk was going to get found. Don’t they know in Riverdale, secrets always have a way of getting found out? They are usually the ones who unearth them!

As I was watching, I couldn’t help but think: No body, no crime. Isn’t that what they always say in movies? To “help out” Chic invites Shady Guy’s girl over to the house to smooth things over? To be a double agent? I have no idea what his motive was. Shady Guy’s girl, Darla, brings over Chic’s landlord to shake down Alice for 10k in exchange for not going to the cops since the car was her’s and she knows something happened to her man. Betty gets the dough, but she thinks better and invites THE SERPENTS! As in the teen Serpents, led by her Boyfriend. Luckily teen co.

Serpents get the job down and scare Darla and Sketchy landlord away before they can extort the Coopers for more money. Alice kicks Chic out! She makes amends with her Serpent crew! She shows up at FP’s trailer. I’m gonna be 100% mad if FP/Alice kissed and we didn’t get the first one on screen. So mad.

Archie Takes Back the Black Hood


Archie and V are deep in their campaign drama as well as Hiram’s SoDale prison project. Is it bad that I don’t care who wins the school election? Who was the president to begin with? Archie has some macho moments where he challenges Reggie to an intense arm wrestling contest and makes him join his sketchy SoDale cause. Hiram has some trouble with his sketchy mob friends, and in the process, Andre gets hurt real bad by none other than Fake FBI Agent Adams. Mob friends want in on the prison project since it’ll rake in a lot of bills, but Hiram doesn’t want them to be a part of it.

Donning a black hood, Archie and his brethren of what I can assume to be the Red Circle from earlier this season, torch Hiram’s ex-mob friend’s limo and tell them to scram. I like how Archie takes back the power of the Black Hood, but why can’t anyone wear more stealthy masks? Why is Hiram sending a teenage boy and his crew to handle legit bad guys?

Around Riverdale/Musings
  • Give Sweet Pea more lines please!
  • Veronica’s outfit for sneaking around is A+ for style, but F for usefulness
  • How predictable was it when Betty and Jughead said investigating was their “normal?”
  • Is Nana Rose dead now? What’s happened to her??

Agree? Disagree? Anyone excited about the Musical Episode???

Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

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