‘The Royals’ 4×04: “Black As His Purpose Did The Night Resemble”

Every week, The Royals finds it’s way into my heart and ways to break it, make it angry, and piece it all back together. I guess that’s the beauty of a show that you find a way to love and enjoy.

This weeks episode had me thinking. Sure, my hate for King Robert is still real, because he’s a really shitty person and he’s a manipulative asshole. Literally, hate him.

But is it bad that hating him is part of what makes me come back? Is it bad that hating him makes me come back weekly to make sure that he is taken down? Cause LORD I WANT HIM TAKEN DOWN.

But what I had wanted in the first place was for Robbie to come back from the island and put his family back together, to make them feel whole. However, what I got was someone that I hate and someone that makes me feel like I need to come back every week.

Now I know that there are some people that think that a good TV show for us means that we invest in a ship. But that’s not it. Yes, a ship is a good thing and we love it. But what we love more than a ship is a show that makes us feel, a show that makes us want, and a show that makes us not stop thinking.

And yes, I know that The Royals is “soapy”, but the truth is what you relate to, you relate to. I like shows of all different genres and though I will be the first to admit that first and foremost, The Royals is fun – to me it makes me dream a little bigger and love a little harder.

But let’s break it down.


Maybe it was all his time on an island, but Robbie seems obsessed with this “keep calm and carry on” bullshit. The truth is when the entire city is in a blackout, there is not a single fucking person that is going to “keep calm.” No, you’ll be worried about the chaos, people looting, and the possibility of getting your ass beat. Yes, I get the sentiment, but LORD NO ONE IS KEEPING CALM.

Now, I haven’t a clue why Robbie arranged the blackout, but I think I know one thing – he wants to find a way to exercise power. The thing is that I feel like he shows these moments where he would have been great without being a total douchebag.

The truth is I think that Robbie is only motivated by power. Robbie is only motivated by people looking at him for what he is – THE KING. He’s not motivated by what he could be. A decent human being.

But he’s not.

He fakes that he is.

So when he needs to go out and find Jasper, because Eleanor knows that Jasper is in the crossfire of where the chaos is. She knows that he’s in danger. So to look like a decent human being, Robbie goes out to find Jasper.

But the truth is Robbie has his own agenda. There is not a thing that he does that isn’t self serving. There isn’t a thing that he does that isn’t about his wants, his hopes, his twisted dreams.

Case in point – when he reaches the bridge, after not being able to find Jasper, and uses it to make a speech that makes him look like a hero. ONLY he’s not a hero. He caused the blackout. He caused the chaos.

Again – to make himself look like a hero and he’s in charge. He wants it to look like he’s in control of things. He wants the world to think highly of him. He wants people to see him as something that he is not.

Well something that he is not without manipulating the situation. And that’s about the only thing that Robbie is good at… manipulating the situation.


When we left off last episode, Jasper was on his way home. He was on his way back to the palace, back to Eleanor’s arms. But in the wake of the chaos, Jasper is left by the ambulance drivers who aren’t “paid enough for this.”

I admit that I screamed when they left him out there by himself, ready to be trampled by the mob. What if something happens to him? Yes, I am cursing Robbie again.

As the mob shakes the ambulance as if an earthquake is happening and poor Jasper is tied down to a gurney, we hear gunshots. Now, if I was Jasper, I would have pissed myself, because you know the last time that there were gunshots, HE GOT SHOT.

It takes a few minutes, but we see someone breaking into the ambulance and see a familiar face – Jasper’s dad. Lord, that face terrifies me. Why? Because it’s the face of a really shitty man who didn’t give a fuck about his child. To me, those are the worst kind of human beings.

Hell, even Jasper doesn’t want to see his father. He knows that seeing his father comes with strings – that there is a con that comes with it. But his Dad is running the biggest con of them all – acting like he gives a crap about his son. He knows that playing on his sons heart is something that will get him somewhere. But he’s like someone else in this show – a world class manipulator not capable of feeling.

I think that sometimes that we forget that we are more than our parents, we are more than the things that they taught us, but a product of how we put those moments… those things we learn into actions. Sure, Jasper is his father’s son and he’s done some stupid, stupid shit. But it’s amazing what can happen when someone believes in you.

Eleanor – hell most of the Henstridge family believes in Jasper. He deserves that.


One thing that Robbie had told Eleanor and Willow was no one comes and goes from the palace. But if there is one thing that we know about Eleanor is she doesn’t listen to anyone but her heart.

Lately she’s been on this quest to save the world and not end up confined by the title of Princess. So when people appear at the palace gates, Eleanor wants to help them. Sure Willow and Rosie don’t want Eleanor to let them in, but here’s the beauty of being a badass – what people tell you doesn’t matter. What matters is what you feel about yourself and what you want to do.

Eleanor is a badass bitch who follows her heart. That’s one of the best things about her. She shows that being strong and vulnerable, but convicted is a great thing. She shows that you don’t have to be a bitch to be strong, but being a bitch is not a bad thing.

Vulnerability is one of my favorite things about Eleanor that we have seen her grow from.

She allows all these people into the castle and she’s doing everything that she can to make them comfortable. I think it’s her way of distracting herself. It’s her way of not worrying about the one thing that she really cares about.

And what’s that?

Well that would be one Jasper Frost.

I can’t blame Eleanor, because like let’s all be honest with each other – when shitty things are happening we don’t only worry about ourselves, we worry about the people that we love too. We don’t want to feel the pain that we feel. We don’t want to be swept away by our insecurities. We want to get through.

And Eleanor does. She gets through. She does everything to get everyone through. And when Robbie returns sans Jasper, she doesn’t show how much it affects her. She doesn’t allow herself to show her pain.

It’s only when Jasper really returns that we see her feelings show. We see her love shine through.

And that my friends is why I love these two, because they always find their way to each other. And they make it through.


In the midst of the blackout Helena and Cyrus get trapped in the wine cellar. Electronic locks. Those things are assholes.

But what they don’t expect to be with them in the cellar is Dutchie. You remember Dutchie? Helena’s crazy old Mom who killed that other girl so Helena could be Queen? It’s ringing a bell now? Well, Dutchie was previously banned, but she’s snuck back into the palace. Why? Well she’s met an Italian Count. Yes, Dutchie is screwing a younger man.

And why not bring him to the place that shows off your status?

What happened in the cellar was a pouring out of hearts but what we learned is that Dutchie is a piece of work. It all led up to us learning about her man.

But what we learn is that Italian Count is really Jasper’s Dad. FML.


Oh Willow… when I try and like you, you do some stupid shit that makes me think twice about liking you. I admired the fact that you weren’t on the list. I admired the fact that you stood for something that wasn’t the monarchy.

But you fell really quick for Robbie’s bullshit. You fell really quick for thinking that he was a good guy.

I’ve lost respect for you Willow. I gagged when you asked to be put on the list.


I guess I should file this under the list of shit I Will never understand.


  • Robbie is an asshole.
  • I have to admit I loved the ending when Robbie left the phone down and asked the Prime Minister if the cheers for him sounded ceremonial.
  • Why is it no one is catching on to Robbie?
  • Liam apologizing to Robbie about Katherine makes me realize that something big is coming with Katherine.

The Royals airs Sunday’s on E!.

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