Welcome back to another week of ‘Riverdale.’ This week we’re back and in full musical mode. What’s the musical? Oh, its Carrie and everyone is type cast! There’s also a murder, but before we talk the last few minutes of the episode, let’s dive into the rest.
Carrie: The Musical
Let me preface I don’t like musicals. While my roommate was percolating with excitement to see our favorite teens on screen, I couldn’t be less enthused. But damn by the end of this episode, I might have gotten into it a bit. Kevin Keller is the director the musical with Fangs, of the Southside Serpents, as his assistant director. The roles are predictably cast. Last episode we saw Cheryl demand the lead role of Carrie White. Betty is sweet good girl Sue Snell. Archie is her boyfriend Tommy Ross. Veronica steps back into her mean girl persona as Chris Hargensen and in a true shock, Chuck Clayton is Billy Nolan. At rehearsal, everyone is shocked to see Chuck back and I’m more shocked he thinks joining a school production is going to help rehabilitate his image when more than half the female production was demeaned by his Sticky Maple playbook. Midge, Moose, Josie, Ethel, and Alice all join the production to round out the cast. A few things happen whilst putting on the production:
Cheryl is almost killed via a sandbag falling from the rafters in true Phantom of the Opera fashion. Then a note arrives. The Black Hood wants Cheryl’s role recast ASAP or he’ll have his wrath. Kevin, Jughead, and Betty are convinced it’s a Black Hood copycat, so nobody’s really worried. I’d be a little worried if somebody was trying to use the same tactics as the serial killer that rampaged my town than a school’s production, but what can I say, I don’t live in Riverdale.
Betty is still mad at Veronica for her Lodge treachery, and she blatantly calls out her former best friend for fitting her role so perfectly. Josie is also super mad at Cheryl because of her creepy drawing. Luckily, both groups of girls hash it out over a song and makeup in record time.
Alice is cast as Carrie’s mom despite being out of high school for over twenty years. She’s somehow proud of it and decides to go to FP at the diner to invite him to her debut. He’s less than flirty and she goes full-on meltdown at rehearsal, swapping Betty’s name into a verse and actually crying onstage. Betty has no choice but to do the worst thing ever and invite Hal back into their lives. Hal has never brought anything good to the women in his life and exactly does as well as we thought he would once welcomed back. He buys Alice flowers she’s allergic too, like the lameo he is.
Penelope Blossom goes full-on viper evil Mom mode ever since getting her daughter back from the asylum and forbids Cheryl from being in the production since it rings a little to close to home. Is that a legit thing? Do you need your parent’s permission to be in a school production these days?
Hermonie and Hiram Lodge try to drive a wedge between Archie and Fred. Using the fact that they bought Archie a fancy car. Hiram shows up when Fred is helping Archie put together the sets to ask him how his car is doing. Luckily Fred doesn’t miss a beat (despite totally not knowing about the car) and plays it super cool, weakening Hiram’s tactic. After he leaves, Fred tells Archie he’s bummed because he was hoping they’d pick up a car at the junkyard and fix it together. Archie finally gets the wherewithal to do something decent and gives the Lodges back their dirty money car, and warns them to never get between his father and him again. He then picks up what can be described as a tractor to fix up with his dad.
The Final Moments
While the singing and dancing were enough to hook everyone, what got me were the final moments of the episode. Cheryl goes full-on Carrie and douses herself in blood in a pretty prom dress to confront her mother. She tells her mom she wants the house, Nana and to be emancipated and I might have screamed. Cheryl is the queen we need. Betty continues her streak of making her mom happy, which honestly doesn’t work that well since she welcomed creepy Chic into their lives. Her last attempt? To bring Chic back into their lives again. Chic meets Betty backstage looking better than ever and we’re all wondering what’s hiding behind that smile. Jughead discovers its Ethel probably who’s been sending the creepy messages because she’s mad Cheryl took her role. Ethel tries to convince him the magazine clippings are for her vision board, but where’s the vision board, Ethel? Pics or it doesn’t exist. Moose walks in on Midge and Fangs in a closet and storms off in a huff. And lastly, the curtain rises on one of the last scenes to reveal Midge stabbed and crucified, with a message from the Black Hood, he’s back and he’ll get everyone who thought they escaped him. Everyone rushes out of the theater, but one person stays in his seat amongst the chaos…Chic. Maybe he’s taking after dear old dad’s alt-universe self, Billy Loomis?
Quote of the Week
“I will not succumb to thespian terrorism”- Cheryl Blossom on the Black Hood’s threats to replace her role.
- Why was Josie cast as the gym teacher? She’s the one with the most musical experience.
- Are we really not going to get a glimpse of the FP/Alice action? Low blow Riverdale.
- Send Hal back to where he came from ASAP
- Alice finally comes clean that Chic isn’t Hal’s but fess up, he’s FP’s right?
- Where’s Penelope going to live now? Hopefully outside of Riverdale
- Not to be that person, but wasn’t Fangs into Kevin? Or did I imagine that?
- Who do you think the Black Hood is? Chic? Moose?
Agree? Disagree? What did you think of the episode?
Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on the CW.