Thirsty Thursday: The Tall Drink That Is Noah Centineo Edition

I am fully aware that we’re all currently competing for the internet’s new boyfriend, Noah Centineo. If you haven’t watched To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before then you are missing out on the charming actor whose “woah, woah, woah” will have you wanting to drop your pants and get naked with him right there.

The actor who plays Peter Kavinsky in the Netflix original adaptation has become to thirst trap to end all thirst traps right now and to be honest, I personally am okay having someone new to have inappropriate lustful emotions over. Everyone has the right to have a fantasy and lets face it – Tom Cruise has gotten too old and too Scientology, while the Chris‘s (Hemsworth, Evans, Pine, etc…) have become too basic.

I think most of us want that good man with the devilish smile and the body that makes you want to climb his abs like you are getting to the top of Mount Everest. Sure, screaming yes and giving praise to God is all part of the fantasy.

And in this shitty world – we should all be entitled to a fantasy.

So my fantasy of the week – Noah Centineo. My thirst trap is real and I’m okay with that. But if we’re gonna be honest with each other – there are some reasons that I will forever remain thirsty for this fine specimen of God’s creation.


Let’s be real – we always want to know the answer to the question – would a celebrity date a fan? And as the internets new boyfriends status grows, we all want that answer from him.

“I don’t close any doors totally, but probably not, because then it’s like more of an infatuation with like, a position more than like, the person,” he told E! News recently.

At least he’s honest, which is a complete fucking turn on. Too many guys don’t know one thing – lie to get her to fuck you (yes, totally aware I am stigmatizing, I am going off my own experiences. Let me be the bitter bitch that I am). Noah straight up delivers the truth, whether you want to hear it or not.

Keep giving it to us bae.


Maybe I am just old as fuck – which hey, is humanly possible – but I don’t understand the need to wear a sweatshirt if you aren’t going to put your arms through the sleeves and keep yourself warm, what the actual fuck is the use? But the thing is, when it comes to Noah, I am trying to look at this a different way. If he doesn’t know how to put on his clothes then that means we get to look at him with his clothes off.

I don’t know about you, but put me in the arena. I volunteer as tribute for this shit. Let me stare at the pretty.


Well, if you call that a beard. You have to admit he looks good with whatever that is growing on his face. Now, personally I prefer the bare faced look (don’t want anyones chin hairs poking me in my face), but I can get down with this. But real talk – I wanna look at those lips and not be distracted by whatever is growing above them. However, starting at the picture, I realize two things (1) Boy needs a nap and (2) I would gladly be those oats.

I went there.


Ya, I made that shit sound pervy, but what can I say. I ain’t talking about what he can do with that mouth (thought we all can admit to ourselves, we’ve thought about it). It’s that fucking smile that gets me. It’s like this infectious, light the whole damn place up, save on the light bill kind of smile. YOU WANT TO SEE IT. YOU NEED TO SEE IT. You know what I am talking about.

His smile is pure joy and therefore it brings my hormones mind pure bliss. And we all know that is a good place for anyone to be.

P.S. – We all know I crossed out hormones, but we know I don’t mean mind, I sure as fuck meant hormones.


Seriously dude. SERIOUSLY! If I have to explain this one you aren’t looking deep enough into his eyes and we need to talk. Maybe you need glasses? I am not sure. Maybe you don’t know what it’s like for someone to look at you and your body think that it’s foreplay.

Look at Noah. He’ll show you what it is.


Lord help me. Those arms. Those legs. Those abs. That face.

Forgive me Mom, I know you said that a lady never covets, but I want that. No matter the time, no matter the place, I want that man. I’ll go to confession later, thought I am sure that the priest will look at me like I’ve lost my mind.

But I’ll just tell him the truth. I haven’t lost my mind, I’m just a thirsty bitch.

All Photos Taken Borrowed from Noah’s Wall of Thirst Quenching Goodness – His Instagram

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