It’s taken me a couple of days to get this review written because my life has been crazy. But also, because this episode touched me so deeply.
I lost my grandfather exactly a month ago and it’s been so hard dealing with that loss. I think about him even more everyday and miss him dearly. Although I’ve been away from home for the last 16 years, I visit as often as I can and always made it a point to see him. So when my mom called me late on that fateful Thursday night to deliver the news of his passing, it hurt, my gosh did it hurt, but it didn’t truly sink in until I went home and he wasn’t there. I didn’t get to hear his laughter or hear an old story that I may or may not had heard before but still sat there in wonder listening to that amazing 92 yo man talk.
I’m still mourning but being back home and so far away from my family, it’s like I’m able to compartmentalize that grief. But I had a moment yesterday that I’ve had quite a bit since we lost him where it slapped me in the face. I ordered “Baby’s First Christmas” cards for close family and friends since this is my son’s first Christmas and I was doing a head count of who all would receive a card. My parents and in-laws, of course. Siblings, aunts, uncles and I went to say his name and stopped dead in my tracks. Because in that moment, like so many before, I remembered that I couldn’t make plans that would include him anymore. I couldn’t share anymore moments of my life or my son’s with him. He would never get to see his great grandson grow up. I know that he watching over us with my grandmother but not having him here is excruciating.
Plans. We sometimes take for granted that the people we love and the ones we make plans with will always be here. I felt Gary’s pain this week. It hit him all at once that all these plans and decisions that he and Jon had made would never happen and it came crashing down on him like a pile of bricks. “Perspective” has been my favorite episode to date and has cut me the deepest but there were also some joyful moments in the episode for me. And with that, let’s tackle the ninth episode of this beautiful cinematic masterpiece aka A Million Little Things.
“WE’LL FIGHT TIL IT’S OVER”
This week’s episode saw everyone fighting in some way. Whether it was Katherine fighting for her right to be working woman and a loving mother, Rome fighting to show his dad the pain he’s been in or Maggie finally deciding to get chemo and fight for her life, everyone took a stand.
The hardest fight of the episode for me was Gary’s and I’m not just talking about his past battle with cancer, but how hard it was for him to be happy and celebrate his first anniversary of being cancer free. While this should have been an extremely happy and triumphant time for him, the pain and reality of losing Jon seemed to truly hit him that morning when he woke up.
Through a series of flashbacks, which I absolutely love, we see Gary revealing to his friends that he has breast cancer. Immediately, Jon is there to support him, to push him, even when Gary doesn’t want it. He motivated Gary, made him laugh and even made plans with him. He did everything he could to keep Gary focused on the fact that he would indeed have a future. And Jon was right, Gary survived. There he was on his anniversary, surrounded by his friends and loved ones yet that missing piece was at the forefront of this joyous day; Jon. When Gary broke down, it wrecked me, WRECKED!
From the pilot, Gary has always been portrayed as the funny friend, the one who is always going to try and make you laugh, even when he’s hurting. He’s always been the one that doesn’t take things too seriously and after finding out he was a cancer survivor, I admired that about him. He had a positive outlook on life and seemed to live by the motto that “life is too short”. But seeing him break down and sob at the true realization that all the things Jon had promised him were never going to happen made me love his character even more. I think a lot of the way he’s changed has to do with Maggie. But I also think it has to do with him growing and realizing that while trying to find the funny side of things is nice, being vulnerable and open is the only way to truly find the happiness we all seek.
So many people try to hide behind masks of happiness or contentment but we all have pain that we hold deep inside. We all have vulnerabilities that we don’t want to let others see but by taking off that mask, we see that it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to be human.
Someone no stranger to hiding behind a mask is Rome and Wednesday’s episode found him seeking acceptance and understanding from his father in regards to his depression. It’s a sad truth that are far too many people out there who do not want to accept or acknowledge mental health issues when it comes to their loved ones. There was a perfect example of this a couple of a week’s ago on CBS’ New Amsterdam. A mother didn’t want to see that her daughter was hurting and the daughter didn’t want to seek help because she felt her family would love her less or disown her.
Rome is feeling that same pain. He has always looked up to his father and always saw his father as the epitome of what being a man is. I don’t think his father is a bad man for not wanting to talk about Rome’s problems, I just think that he is scared. That maybe he is taking on some of the blame for the pain Rome is in or that he feels he’s somehow “failed” him in his raising of Rome. This is clearly the furthest thing from the truth and I truly hope he sees this and comes back to Rome and supports him.
I loved seeing Regina there and supporting Rome. He is taking care of himself and while everyone might not accept what he’s going through right off the bat, that’s okay. We can’t control what others do, only how we react to what they do and I think Rome is slowly seeing that.
ROAD TRIP FROM GRIEF
We’re FINALLY getting glimpses into Maggie’s past and I’m am loving it! After learning of the guilt Maggie carries over the loss of her brother, “Perspective” had Maggie deflecting no more. I think her conversation with Delilah on their car ride helped but I also think it was the question Rome asked her last week that made her stop and realize that she had been punishing herself for far too long.
She protected and tried to save her brother all of his life and she still lost him and that’s something that will weigh on anyone’s heart. But Maggie is finally seeing that no matter what she did, her brother had to want to change and that’s not something that we can force. We can help people and fight for them but at the end of the day, if they don’t want to fight for themselves, we can’t take that blame on ourselves. It’s funny because it’s almost the same thing she has been going through with Gary.
Gary wants her to fight cancer and get chemo but she is ready to accept that this is the life she wants to live. Is there anything wrong with that? Hell, no. But I can also see how it hurts the people in her life and I know she has been trying to avoid that by pushing everyone away because that seems to be the way Maggie has dealt with things for so long. Punishment for past mistakes. But upon her realization this week, she’s finally seeing that it’s okay to hope for better outcomes and to let go of the pain of her past. And after Gary’s breakdown, it seemed something clicked and I couldn’t be happier!! She’s getting chemo! She’s fighting back! And she was doing it from the same chair Gary fought back a year earlier. I’m still squealing from seeing her in that chair listening to Macklemore. Now if Gary can just answer his damn phone…
A WOMAN’S WORTH
Anyone else cheering over Katherine basically giving her law firm the middle finger?!? I was so proud of her for speaking up for what she wanted and needed. She wants to have both a career and be able to be home for her son and I am so inspired by this! It seems that in today’s world, people have to choose between having a successful career or home life, that we can’t have both and that just isn’t fair. And even through Katherine didn’t get what she wanted, she was still happy for standing her ground. She didn’t have any regrets and I think that’s wonderful! For too long, she’s been the one working long hours and missing out on things in Theo’s life and it seems that she’s gotten to the point where she’s just done and I applaud her!
Speaking of standing her ground, Eddie royally irked me with his comment about Katherine calling him when she can’t watch Theo instead of her friend from work. Like seriously? She tried calling her mom and she wasn’t able to do it and it was her time with Theo so she wanted to make it work. Sure, a quick text to say that she wouldn’t be there when he picked up Theo probably would’ve helped but Eddie is in such deep shit with what he’s done to her that it truly bothered me how he talked to her in this situation. Especially since you were just over there making out with Delilah so don’t even! I love, LOVE David Giuntoli but I’m so back and forth with Eddie. I just wish he’d get his shit truly together.
And for the love of all things holy, writers, please do NOT put Delilah and Eddie together again. Just no, no, NO!
- GARY TOLD MAGGIE HE’S IN LOVE WITH HER IN THE PREVIEWS!
- Okay, maybe I was too quick to count Ashley out because judging by next week’s episode, it appears she’s truly trying to help the Dixon’s. But, she needs to stay as far away from Gary as possible. I’m still pissed from them hooking up last week. *vomit emoji*
- Anyone else hoping the hot guy at the gas station comes back around for Delilah?
- Theo is everything though his taste in waffle toppings is questionable.
- Seriously, who the fuck is Barbara Morgan?!
- Did I mention that Gary confesses his love for Maggie next week?! I CAN’T DEAL!!!
- That Macklemore song is still suck in my head.
A Million Little Things airs Wednesday on ABC.