‘The Hills: New Beginnings’ 1×01: Let’s Catch Up

Words that I never thought I would be singing again, while laying in bed, watching TV.

“Staring at the blank page before you, Open up the dirty window, Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find.”

Yes, that’s right. The Hills is back and some would say better than ever. But, I think that the jury is still out on that one. Though I will tell you this from the get go – I didn’t know how much I missed the lives of Audrina, Justin, Brody, Spencer, Stephanie, Whitney, and Heidi. But that being said as they transition from the teenagers/people in their 20’s that were finding themselves in Los Angeles, I find it harder to a certain point to draw an opinion (not that it stops me) on their lives, because adult problems really fucking suck.

But let’s be real – you return to reality television – you know you are opening yourself up to some shit. People are going to have opinions. Everyone is going to be judging your life. You opened yourself up to that shit and ya, I am not saying it’s fair, but it is life.

Let’s break it all down.


I don’t know why I have never really gotten Audrina, but I really just haven’t. I have always felt like there is something that she is hiding and ya, I don’t know what it is. BUT it’s there. And as I have gotten older, I think that I learned that whatever she decides not to show, that’s okay. Why? Because she’s entitled to a private life and whatever it is – it’s allowed to be separate.

Audrina has changes a lot over the past whatever many years. She had settled down and gotten married. She has a three year old daughter. She’s trying to figure out being on her own again.

She’s honestly admirable. Yes, I don’t want to keep hearing about her divorce. I get it – it’s hard and it’s some bullshit going on, but I feel like – what else did she do? What are her passions? Like give me something else to know about you. I think that it’s coming across as her ex defined her and I don’t think that she’s that one faceted.

In the episode Audrina and Justin went to dinner and my fangirl heart jumped. I love these two. I always have. I feel like there is just something about them that is home. But, I think that part of that is that Justin has never wanted to define her. He wanted to be there for her, but for her to be herself. And we all need someone like that.


We didn’t get enough of Whitney is this episode. I think that is a big oversight on MTV’s part, but who knows. Maybe she didn’t come across exciting, maybe she has a contract for limited stuff. Who knows. But, I think the thing is that Whitney has never been like the others in the group and we’ve needed someone like that to balance shit out.

Whitney is married now with a son. She’s moved back to LA. I don’t know – I just always expected her to be in NYC forever. She just seems so much more East Coast.


Time hasn’t made these two less annoying unfortunately.

They are married and living back in Los Angeles. They are all sorts of proud that they have survived. And hey, you should be. But you should also be getting some help because you two are in desperate need of something.

Spencer and Heidi have a son and he’s adorable.

But on a separate note, these two are so fucking self centered that they can’t see anything but their own face. Like Spencer still holds a grudge against his sister, doesn’t see that he needs to take part of the blame in their relationship issues. He’s butt hurt cause he wasn’t invited to Brody’s wedding – but personally, GET OVER IT. Like the past is the past, you can’t change it. And hey, it’s someones wedding. They get to make the choices and trying to make them feel bad over it – makes you an asshole.

Heidi still comes across as an airhead and a whiner. She’s annoying. Sorry, not sorry. She cries over everything. Now I get not wanting to leave your kid ever, but it’s healthy. Like it’s legit healthy to have a life and she freaks out over leaving her son. Her separation anxiety is on a different level than I have ever seen.

And I can’t with that knowing that it’s there and not getting help. And Heidi isn’t.

Sorry, these two just rub me the wrong way.


Here’s the thing that I have always loved about Brody – he seems to not give a fuck. He’s going to be stress free as much as possible, but he’s going to follow his own path. HOWEVER, that being said, I have to admit that I wasn’t impressed with that now.

Brody is married and he talks about his relationship with such whateverness that I kind of lost a little respect. Like, hey – I know he loves his wife – that is apparent in everything else that they do. And I get that it’s a TV show. But when he’s like shutting down his wife at every turn – I don’t blame her for going ape shit on his ass. He really just is like whatever.

It came across as though he treated marriage like still dating, only he was legally obligated to come home every night.

Brody is now a DJ and traveling and living the life. Kaitlynn, his wife gets upset with him one night cause he comes home super late. He tells her the next AM that she was psycho. Ummm – not cool dude. Listen to your wife’s concerns. So he goes to sleep in his truck.

Insert eye roll here. Way to run from your issues dude.

The whole group is constantly talking about kids, and Brody isn’t ready for them. He comes across as being selfish and doesn’t want to give that up. But what bugged me about this whole episode is that they paint his wife as a villain, and I felt like we didn’t get a chance to know Kaitlynn at all before MTV tried to paint her as possessive and manipulating.

I am interested to see where this relationship goes. Following their marriage will be interesting, because Instagram comes across as one thing and The Hills – something completely different. But hey, both of them are probably not the truth.


Ahhh, Frankie. I have always loved the shit out of Frankie. I feel like he really just has always wanted to be bigger and better than the day before. And that is something to admire.

He’s still working in clubs, still spreading the love, and still really chill. I love seeing this man still just wanting to be at peace with everyone. He’s married with two kids and is just happy.

I think that Frankie will be someone interesting to watch.

He’s throwing Stephanie Pratt a welcome back to LA party and I can’t wait to see how that shit unfolds. Because it’s going to be epic.

Justin Bobby

I mean have any of us really ever known Justin? He’s like an enigma – a really fucking confusing one. But it doesn’t make him any less interesting to watch.

Because I want to figure him out.

Justin’s been traveling with his band and whatever. He’s still not in a committed relationship, but says him and Audrina have a lot to talk about. He didn’t believe that she’s found her true love yet. I mean is he implying it’s him? I could see that.

Those two have been meant for each other forever.

I am hoping that who Justin is unfolds this season, because I don’t know if it ever will. He’s like that guy on reality TV that you wonder why he’s there, because he won’t share shit. I really don’t think that will ever change.


Stephanie Pratt. I think that she’s an interesting person. I also get her to a certain point – that wanting to run, because staying in place is the more painful of the two. But like she says, you can run, but problems still end up on your doorstep.

She’s been living in London and she’s been through some shit. Her brother and sister-in-law are pretentious and rude to her. Sure, she’s said some shit and it’s made the press – so I get them being angry and frustrated and wanting her to just own up to her shit. But I don’t think that anything that she does will ever make them be kind to her in anyway.

She’s returned home because she wants to repair her relationship with her brother and grow one with her nephew. She wants to get to know the people that matter and show them her change. But she’s going to be up against one obstacle after another.

And I feel for her.

I think that watching her relationship with her brother will be interesting, but I don’t think that Spencer will ever change or allow his sister to be a part of his life. He’s too busy being angry.


Well, she’s been through some shit and we still have to figure out what she’s doing here. She apparently ran with the gang way back in the day. She’s got baggage, but who the fuck doesn’t. She just wants a life and to be a part of something better.

I didn’t know about her ex and the revenge porn case. I feel for her so much over that. She, well anyone, doesn’t deserve that ever.

We get to know her a little bit when she sits down with Stephanie.

But one thing that I am looking forward to seeing is her confront Perez Hilton. Honestly, haven’t opened his site in years, but he was a bully and she was tortured by the way he wrote things about her. Yet, what I don’t like is that Speidi took it upon themselves to invite him to Stephanie’s party.

For a show that is new, they reference Perez way too fucking much and try to make him as relevant as he was back in the day.

Why the fuck do people feel like it’s their place to solve issues that some people may not be ready to solve?

Brandon Lee

The most interesting thing we found out about him is that his Mom, Pamela Anderson, moved to France because Trump got elected.

He doesn’t like talking about who his Mom is. And who can blame him. It’s a lot of pressure.

He’s been friends with Brody for years, so it makes sense why he’s there. But MTV – I want to know more about him. If you are bringing these people in – give us some insight.

What did you think of The Hills: New Beginnings?

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