When Bachelor in Paradise closes the beach after this sixth season, there’s a spinoff that’s just begging to be created: Stagecoach.
Every time a woman walks into Paradise, Blake seems to not only like her, but know her. And not just from anywhere. From Stagecoach.
The California-centered country music festival has been the stomping grounds of Blake developing into one of the biggest turds in Bachelor Nation, where he’s either been kissing, having sex or talking, and hoping it leads to the former, with pretty much every girl that’s walked onto this show.
This is either the best free advertising or the most brilliant PR stunt The Bachelor franchise has ever developed.
Here are five thoughts after the third week in Paradise.
1. Does Blake know every woman that comes to Paradise?
I’m so beyond over the Blake saga that I dread each week because I know that Blake will probably meet a new girl he met at Stagecoach. Seriously. It’s like the producers decided to bring in everyone at Stagecoach — and Blake just happened to hook up with a lot of them. If he wasn’t the most vile thing I’ve ever seen in Paradise…
2. Dylan and Hannah are the cutest thing in Paradise
It’s amazing how you don’t realize you have a good thing until it’s gone. Luckily for Hannah, Dylan was so amazing that she didn’t have to lose him to realize she’d made a mistake teetering between him and Blake. As far as opposites go, Dylan is the antithesis of Blake in all the right ways. He’s been patient, he’s been honest, he’s been open, he’s been vulnerable and he actually wants a relationship instead of a Stagecoach Jr. hookup. I’m just glad Hannah realized it. Now, we’re treated with the two of them acting like adorable puppies, and I’m emotionally compromised.
3. There’s a fine line between reality TV drama and violence
Bachelor in Paradise had done a lot to hype up the fight between Jordan and Christian, which escalated on Monday when the two went at each other’s throats. While it was good TV, it was evident immediately that it was more heated than Paradise producers might’ve realized. Christian had to be held back by multiple security guys as he tried to go after Jordan, who knocked over a pinata when Christian was trying to woo Nicole. But Jordan and Christian’s history goes back to their Bachelorette days, where the two went at it at the Men Tell All. These producers definitely were in way over their heads on this.
4. Demi and Kristian open the door in Bachelor franchise as first same-sex couple
The Bachelor franchise hasn’t exactly been diverse in ways that it should. It took years for them to have their first black Bachelorette, Rachel Lindsay, and there hasn’t been another since. Mike appears to be the most likely next option. As for same-sex couples, it never seemed like something the show would explore. Perhaps Paradise was the perfect place for the franchise to give it a go. Demi revealed last week that she had been dating a woman back home before deciding to come to Paradise, and it was a great conversation between her and kinda-boyfriend Derek. This week, Kristian came to Paradise to show Demi that she wanted to pursue their relationship. It was like the heavens shone down on The Bachelor franchise, as it offered representation in a way it hadn’t before.
5. Derek just auditioned for The Bachelor and may or may not realize it
While Derek might’ve gotten his heart stomped on — for the millionth time — in The Bachelor franchise, it might not have been without a benefit. Usually, we don’t get The Bachelor announcement until after Paradise, in case of any interesting developments out of Paradise prompt a new direction. Like Nick Viall a couple years ago. While Tyler C. doesn’t appear to be interested in being The Bachelor — dating Gigi Hadid — that leaves Peter and Mike, the latter of which is also on Paradise. But there might be a dark horse in the competition in Derek, who showed that he was a forgiving and understanding man when Demi came out being bisexual and breaking things off with him to pursue a relationship with her girlfriend. Derek’s understanding — and the maturity with which he handled it — certainly bode well for his chances, even if they are slim.
Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8/7c on ABC.