‘The Bachelor’ Episode 4 Review: Give This Show An Emmy Already

While I never feel like The Bachelor is long enough each week, that rings most true following this fourth episode, which was the best episode I’ve seen in years. Seriously, give this show a fucking Emmy.

So much drama. So much emotion. So much shock value. So many fierce ladies not willing to take this shit from a man. Even a man as sweet as out Pilot Pete. (Love you, Peter.)

I’d like to thank God and also the producers for the perfection that was Monday’s episode of The Bachelor. It was hyped as a Top-10 perhaps Top-5 episode, and it didn’t disappoint.

Unfortunately, it all came at Peter’s expense. Lord, I certainly hope this thing ends up working out for him after all this shit. (And we’re only four episodes in.)

Let’s break down this mind-blowing episode that was filled from start to finish with pure drama.

Can Peter Handle This Show?

Is Peter too pure for this show? Because he’s falling apart at the seams fairly early on in this season. Bless his aviation-loving heart.

“I’m messing up so bad.”

“Obviously they’re upset and pissed at me.”

“I feel like I’m doing this all wrong, like I’m messing up.”

Understatements of the freaking century, Peter.

Prior to the start of this season, there had been talk that Peter made his share of mistakes during the season. Which seemed hard to believe, as he’s such a sweet and genuine guy.

And yet, here we are. Post-mortem Episode 4.

Peter could’ve avoided this entire mess if he just stuck with his gut to send Alayah home. Instead, he followed the organ that’s neither his heart or brain (although, why are we surprised?) And it’s fair to wonder if he knows what the hell he’s doing at this point.

While I love Peter, there was something so empowering about watching these women get pissed at him for not handling certain situations the right way. More than that, some of them actually stood up to him and voiced their anger.

During the cocktail party, Natasha and Deandra called Peter out for his bullshit, and there was just stunned silence. Peter was stunned. I was stunned. I think the camera was stunned, too.

Peter clearly didn’t know how to respond — he’s clearly struggling with this entire thing — but when he did regroup, he took ownership for his actions and apologized. Which is nice and everything, but at some point he needs to stop apologizing and start showing these girls that they’re not wasting their time. (Although we all know they’re not wasting their time, not really. They’re all destined to become influencers.)

There’s a genuine concern about whether or not Peter can handle this show. Considering that this season is still fairly early on, this is far from the hard part. This is still easy. Real feelings aren’t involved yet. Just wait, Pete.

The Best Worst-Date in Bachelor History

If you’re a Bachelor fan, this was the best date ever. If you were Victoria F., this was your worst fucking nightmare broadcast in front of millions.

This episode was so good that Victoria F’s unbelievably-unplanned one-on-one was Act I. That should tell you everything you need to know about how amazing this episode was.

So I gained a lot of respect for Victoria F. following this episode, considering how she dealt with a unique situation that had never been done on The Bachelor. Ever.

After Peter and Victoria F. had a fun-filled day filled with all of Victoria’s greatest fears — heights, planes and rollercoasters — they wrapped things up with a private concert. And the pair were serenaded by none other than Victoria’s ex-boyfriend: Chase Rice.

It was as awkward as you’d expect. Victoria’s face was the picture of pure fear and shock that there’s no way she saw this coming. Also, it was a total coincidence, right?

Although watching Peter and Victoria dance in front of her ex — and Peter being completely oblivious to the entire thing — was fucking fantastic television. And then — THEN — Peter actually told a producer that if things work out maybe Chase Rice could sing at his and Victoria’s wedding.

AND I DIED. ACTUALLY LOLED. LOOKED INTO THE CAMERA LIKE I WAS ON THE FUCKING OFFICE.

I was on the edge of my fucking seat, and we were only 30 minutes into the episode.

Watching Victoria tell Peter that she used to date Chase — and Peter’s reaction, it was truly Emmy-worth stuff.

The drama ramped up — Victoria stomped away sobbing, Peter was left flabbergasted and he was consoling her in a random corner with a fucking defibrillator on hand. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

And it was fantastic stuff.

In the end, Peter appreciated Victoria’s honesty and gave her the rose. So at least something good came out of the Bachelor‘s most awkward date ever.

The Ghost of Bachelor Drama Past

Don’t you know never to believe someone is dead until you see a body. Exhibit A: Alayah.

Of all the mistakes Peter has made so far, allowing Alayah to rejoin the show after the finasco of last week’s drama has been the worst. Basically, Peter could’ve avoided all of this petty drama, all of the crying girls and all of the women calling him out for his shit.

But there’s no going back now. And The Bachelor producers wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re sitting on a damn goldmine here.

Alayah’s entrance following the group football date was tremendous. Everyone’s mouths dropped — even mine did, and I’ve known for a week she was returning. The girls were pissed — PISSED. And it didn’t take long for Alayah to completely take over this date.

The women were pissed, especially considering they tied in the football game, which gave them even more limited time with Peter. And that was before Alayah. Then her return basically takes up the rest of the after party, and they’re left fuming.

And then…

PETER GAVE ALAYAH THE FUCKING ROSE.

I KID YOU NOT.

HE GAVE HER A ROSE FOR CRASHING THEIR AFTER PARTY AND SNITCHING ON A FRIEND.

WHAT IS THIS SHOW?

(I LOVE IT)

Oh, and to make matters worse, Alayah started talking about Victoria F. dating Chase Rice, and then she tried to deny it. Girl, you should know by now when the cameras are on.

Don’t Trust Victoria P.

That face when you know you’ve been found out, and you’re at a loss for words. Sorry, Victoria P., you’ve been found out.

Everyone was so concerned about Alayah putting up a persona on this show, but there are few that aren’t. Add Victoria P. to the list of people not being their genuine selves when the cameras are on.

Peter might trust her, but I don’t. Which is a complete 180 following last week where I was completely gushing over her refreshing presence on this show. She was sweet, she was genuine and she was honest.

Well, not anymore.

Of all of the directions I saw this whole Alayah mess going, this was the furthest thing from my mind. While someone had mentioned on a Bachelor podcast (whose name escapes me now) that they didn’t necessarily trust Victoria P., I scoffed. Now, I understand.

Looking back, it did seem fishy how Victoria P. denied knowing Alayah. How she basically lied and said they’d only hung out once at whatever pageant event when they actually have known each other awhile and roll in similar circles.

While Victoria P. denied she barely knew Alayah, Alayah insisted they’re friends. So who the fuck is the telling the truth?

However much it hurts me to say: Alayah is telling the truth.

When people that I don’t know their names but look trustworthy (see the blonde that called out Victoria P., who I think is named Savannah, but don’t quote me) said that Victoria P. was calling Alayah a terrible person when the cameras were off and acting another way in front of the camera.

So when Peter questions Victoria P. (God, why is it always the Victorias?) she basically admitted to her lie. Alayah told Peter that she and Victoria P. took a trip to Las Vegas together, and Victoria P. was literally at a loss for words.

Victoria P. didn’t know what to say, because she can’t lie. And she was someone caught in a lie being broadcast on national television. Oh, and she also had the audacity to act pissed at Peter later in the episode — for him not trusting her — after she basically admitted she lied to him about Alayah.

Seriously, what is wrong with that girl?

The entire time, I was yelling at my TV for Peter to go grab Madison and Kelley and escape the drama.

Bachelor Bits

Madison is pissed about the petty drama, and so am I. Only, I’m not. I’m enjoying every second of it. I just wish this show was four hours long every Monday.
  • Seriously guys, Peter might be too nice for this show. He’s making mistakes at every turn.
  • Will forever be wishing for the National Championship coverage of The Bachelor so I can switch to the Madison & Kelley channel.
  • Speaking of, I need more competitive Madison on my television, please. I’ve never related more to a contestant than Madison getting pissed off for losing a pick up football game.
  • Cheers to my girl Kelley, who is killing it by sitting quietly, sipping her drink and ignoring the petty nonsense happening around her.
  • When Natasha told Shiann that she should pull him first because she was MVP and that she’d block for her, I felt that in my soul.
  • There were more nice things said about Cleveland in this episode than I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
  • Speaking of, considering The Bachelor is getting the hometown discount having an LA-based Bachelor, you’d think they’d have more money to go to a better place than Cleveland.
  • I can’t not look at Kelsey and not see that champagne exploding in her face.
  • Although Kelsey seems like a nice girl.
  • Peter is the worst basketball player I’ve ever seen.
  • If I ever decide to go on The Bachelor, the last thing I’m going to do is tell the producers my actual fears. (See Fuller, Victoria and her fear of heights.)
  • I sure as hell complained about all of the drama this week. Did I love it all? You bet your ass I did.

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.

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