The Bachelorette is back with episode 16×01! Yes, this is season 16, and we’re not exactly sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but what we do know is this… sometimes you can’t look away from the train-wreck. And in 2020, maybe you don’t want to. Maybe watching train-wrecks on TV is better than watching the news.
So here at Fangirlish, we’re going to be breaking down the episodes weekly – starting with the MOST DRAMATIC FIRST EPISODE YET, lol. Joining me on this roundtable are Fangirlish writers Erin, Lyra, Jessica and Grace.
Here we go!
The Bachelorette is back with 16×01, and it already seems like we might actually have the most dramatic season yet! What are your feelings about Clare and what’s been teased about the season to come? Is it more hype than anything or is this finally the season someone breaks the mold?
Lizzie: I mean, are they ever really as dramatic as they want us to believe they are? Though I will say, if Clare DOES walk out, then maybe …and that’s what they’ve been teasing. That she won’t make it through to the end, in fact, that she won’t even make it that far. So yeah, I guess I will give her that. But at the same time, I wonder if part of it is that they let her? Is she really the first person who’s wanted to walk away? I doubt it. So, if it does happen, did it want it to? Food for thought. This IS reality TV, after all.
Erin: The most dramatic season… yawn. They say that shit all the time and the most dramatic thing is the way that someones spanx broke. But I will say that it may be the most insane season. But like how do we know what part of The Bachelorette Clare blew up? She coulda had the shits? Like these producers know how to make drama and cause a lot of drama. And I can respect that. I’d read their romance novel. But I do think that this is partially hype to make Clare seem interesting and not like the demon that she is. Seriously, girl is SPASTIC.
Lyra: The Bachelorette virgin here to tell you that I don’t know what I signed up for but I appreciate the shit show my eyeballs were exposed to. Give me the drama and 4 minute “teases” for the season that give everything away. Give me all these basic looking dudes trying to hook up during the time of corona. And give me more of Clare in that dress because girl your breasts looked amazing in it. Seriously, top notch bra power and the real hero of this story considering it was backless! Bet it had pockets too!
Jessica: If Clare does leave in the middle of the season like the rumors say, then it might actually be the most dramatic season ever! But part of me thinks it won’t be that dramatic… since they say this literally every season. I do think something happened, but I just don’t know if it’s as crazy as they want us to believe. Maybe she just wants to be with Dale, and didn’t care about following the rules like everyone else did.
Grace: I think this season might actually be the most dramatic season yet! Even more so than when Colton hopped the fence. Honestly, I wasn’t too thrilled when Clare was picked as The Bachelorette, but if the teasers have been any indication of what this season will hold, I can’t wait to be pleasantly surprised. Every season of The Bachelorette is pretty standard, so I’m very interested in a season that could possibly break the mold on what we all expect a season to look like.
We already know Clare has a favorite guy – Dale! What do you think about Dale? Did he give you “he’s the one for Clare” vibes? Why do you think they clicked right away?
Lizzie: Dale is hot, but then again about 90% of the guys on The Bachelorette 16×01 were hot, that’s kind of the point of this show, to throw a bunch of hot guys her way. I’m not exactly sure what said to her “this is the man I’m gonna marry, because I do not believe in that love at first sight thing.” Lust at first sight is a thing, though.
Erin: It’s called Clare is horny and he had a good smile. Dale is cute and like I am attracted, but like Clare – YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT HIM. Your vagina is talking for you. Control the WAP.
Lyra: I don’t have a good feeling about Dale. He’s too handsome, too tall, and too perfect. There’s got to be something there. As this is my first season of The Bachelorette and 16×01 the first episode I’ve watched, I hope he’s a plant and falls in love with Bennett Meyner (I think that’s his last name cuz what show has two Bennett’s?) Oh wait, this isn’t fanfiction and my gay dreams can’t come to life. Damn.
Jessica: I mean, Dale was fine. He’s cute, but there were other cute guys that she met. I don’t know how she can think she wants to marry him after knowing him for 2.5 seconds. Maybe she just had a feeling… since she is 39 years old (as the show kept reminding us) and followed her intuition.
Grace: When I saw Dale hop out of that limo, boy did I swoon. No wonder Clare was immediately drawn to him. If love at first sight is truly a thing, I believe Clare might have actually experienced it. I’m still one of those suckers who believes that love can come from this show. If Dale is that love, then I’m all for it. But only time will tell.
Other than Dale, which of the other guys gave you good feelings? Who makes your top 5?
Lizzie: I have these questions because after week 1 I can rarely tell them apart, and 16×01 of The Bachelorette was no different. Who’s who? I don’t know OR care! My only firm thought is that Bennett, he’s got some Gaston vibes, doesn’t he? And fine, Blake M’s beard was working for me.
Erin: Bennet, because Rolls Royce and I’ve seen what wealth management ppl in NYC live like and my ass is that shallow. Blake M – cause he wrangles wildlife and i’ve been quarantined and need to be wrangled. Brandon would be – but they describe him as an Italian Stallion, and that makes me think of Rocky, so no. Ivan, cause those lips. Look, none of them have made a hormonal or like have to have them impression on me yet, but then again – I am not Clare and I don’t follow my vagina’s bidding.
Lyra: One sec. I have a list. No top 5 but I’ve got top 3: Jordan with the popcorn, the Bennett with the dog singing, and the…wait…I only have 2. Sorry not sorry. One provided food and the other was cute as a button with actual sparkling eyes when he looked at Clare.
Jessica: I’m with Lizzie and Erin on Bennett. I like Blake. Ivan’s cute, and so is DeMar. I’m sure other people will make a bigger impression later in the season. There were too many men in the first episode to remember all of them. But Yosef has got to go (I don’t care that he messaged another girl before the show, but I get super weird vibes from him).
Grace: I’m going to be honest, I still don’t know most of these guy’s names. Dale obviously stands out, but I’d also say Blake Moynes does. He is such a cutie and even got the first kiss of the season. While I’m hard pressed to believe he was really the only guy to reach out to Clare while under quarantine, he definitely had some good vibes about him.
What was your favorite moment from the premiere?
Lizzie: Define favorite? Like that I liked it, or that I was like okay this is the kind of drama why I turn this on and then do other stuff as people scream in the background? But yeah, the fight was the best part because I always love it when they’re like OMG the women are so dramatic on The Bachelor and then the men get even MORE dramatic on The Bachelorette. Karma is here. Karma.
Erin: That stupid fucking fight. It’s like sooo dumb. Who fucking cares that he messaged someone else. I see no ring on his finger. Tyler C, you got good jaw porn, but like no. Take your jealousy back to West Virginia and slide into someone’s DMs. You need to be the squirrel trying to get a nut – if you know what I mean.
Lyra: My favorite moment of The Bachelorette 16×01 premiere was when this random ass guy named Page was miffed because he didn’t get to spend time with Clare and didn’t get a rose. Boy, who are you? I’ve never seen you in my entire life. Did they even give you a limo entrance? Or was yours too bland and had to be cut for time. Whatever it was, you’ve got some guts to say she missed out on her husband. If anything, she dodged a bullet.
Jessica: I don’t really know if I had a favorite. I guess it was watching Tyler get so worked up about Yosef messaging another girl. It was a message. Get over it. I can’t believe he made such a big deal over that. I love that Clare asked Yosef “Is there someone who thinks she’s your girlfriend?” LOL. I know Clare can be dramatic, but I liked the way she handled this situation. I also liked that she seemed pretty relatable when she was talking about missing her mom and how she was so tired of being single and having to do this life alone. I completely understand, Clare!
Grace: I have to say my favorite moment from the premiere was when Clare met Dale for the first time. It’s probably my favorite just because it’s been hyped up so damn much. Just seeing them interact for the first time in 16×01 really got me excited about what the rest of the season will entail and how Clare might “blow up” The Bachelorette.
Which was the most cringe-worthy moment from the premiere?
Lizzie: I don’t actually find Clare mooning over Dale as cringeworthy as just the fact that she’s got no poker face. How are you around this game for so long and don’t know you can’t just tell the cameras everything you think and feel? Do NOT TRUST THE CAMERAS. Do not trust the producers. They are not on YOUR side, they are on the side of the best entertainment possible, and that doesn’t always end with you and a happily ever after, girl.
Erin: When Clare meets Dale in The Bachelorette 16×01 and is like “I met my husband.” Look, I am all for attraction, but Dale isn’t pizza and so we can’t guarantee that he’s a good slice by taking a small bite. And lets be real Clare, how great of husband material is he really when you gave someone else the first kiss? It’s like please, your premenopausal hormones are out of wack. You’re not sure what you’re feeling. Now I will admit, that there were a lot of men that made no impression at all, so I am not hating on Clare for finding one that does. But you know, please Clare – part of you is on this high cause you tested negative for covid and got to touch people. It’s been months since I have touched anyone, so like, I can understand your cringeworthy moment. The vag wants what the vag wants.
Lyra: AJ’s grip from hell and the guy with the straight jacket getting a rose. Clare compared AJ to a dog. That’s what she thought of you, buddy. Not, “Oh, I can’t wait to know AJ more.” It was, “Woah. I don’t remember your name but you have the strongest handshake and I just realized I’m wearing all these rings and I might’ve been bitten by a dog.” Not flattering at all. And then there’s the straight jacket guy. Really? This is what you had planned? How are you going to hug her or get to know her if you’re all tied up? Next!
Jessica: I agree with Erin. It was so cringeworthy (and obviously staged) when she said “I think I just met my husband.” She acted ridiculous. Sure, Dale’s pretty, but you just met him. Can you wait until you actually go on a date before you go crazy over him? Also, the straight jacket guy was way too much.
Grace: Honestly, I’m not a fan of bringing drama in night one. Don’t get me wrong, drama is what makes reality TV so great, but I don’t like it when people try to start shit when we’re just getting the ball rolling. When Tyler C. decided to confront Yosef about some DMs he received about him, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. The concerns Tyler C. brought up could be 100% valid, but it still just felt weird that he thought confronting Yosef was more important than spending time with Clare. And then for Yosef to go straight to Clare made me cringe even more. If only Clare sent both Tyler C. and Yosef home.
Describe your expectations about this season of The Bachelorette with one gif: