The Bachelorette is back with episode 16×03! More drama this week, as is on par for the course. But also …was this the most uncomfortable episode in a while, or what? But then again, as I said before, sometimes you can’t look away from the train-wreck. And in 2020, maybe you don’t want to. Maybe watching train-wrecks on TV is better than watching the news.
So here at Fangirlish, we’re breaking down this week’s episode, which was about as awkward as they come. Joining me on this roundtable are Fangirlish writers Erin, Lyra, Jessica and Grace.
Here we go!
This was one of the most uncomfortable episodes of The Bachelorette ever. How did watching that make you feel about the show in general, and about Clare and Dale in particular? Do you think people can truly find real love within this format?
Lizzie: I’m not sure I watch because I believe people are always going to find love, but I do believe you can find love in most circumstances, and some people HAVE found love within this context, so it’s not impossible. That being said, do I believe Clare and Dale found love right away, at first sight? Eh, no. I really, really do not.
Erin: Look I don’t mean to be an asshole, but people don’t come on this show to find love. They come on they come on this show to be influencers. Like they are “Nike sponsor me” or whatever brand they want to be. Clare may have come on to the friend love, because she’s a shrew and her choices are limited. And I’m not knocking her because of her age, I am old too and my vag is like find my match too. But like I’ll do like all the ppl do – Hinge or Match or slide into DM’s. Clare she’s like let me go online and show what a fucking crazy cunt I am. Good for her, make that money, but get off my screen cause you are like a female Yosef. Ya, I said it.
Lyra: This is my first ever year watching The Bachelorette and I’ve got to say I’m not impressed. This is how people are supposed to find love? Because if so, it’s uncomfortable and entirely too cheesy. But I do like my drama. And that’s what this show is mainly about. So I’ll stick with it and see where it takes me.
Grace: I love watching The Bachelorette and I’d say this season is just an outlier. Normally, the lead isn’t obsessed with one specific guy early on so the producers are kind of stuck with this mess. Does this season make me lose faith in the series as a whole? Hell no because the more I watch Clare’s stint as The Bachelorette the more excited I get for a new one aka Tayshia. It just goes to show how vital it is that they pick a great lead and this season just was a big miss in that department.
Jessica: Most of the time the leads at least give other people a chance. For example, I thought it was pretty obvious that Jojo was going to pick Jordan, but she did a much better job of actually talking to the other men and getting to know them. I think love can work (and it has), but it’s clearly very important to pick the right lead and the right group of contestants.
How do you feel about the cancelation of the group date? On the one hand there’s something to be said about Clare not leading people on – on the other, there is a point where her decisions are just selfish. Which side of the argument are you on?
Lizzie: Clare is just …not the woman for The Bachelorette. It’s clear. The whole point of the show is to at least pretend for a few weeks that you like more than one guy. A lot of women have done it, and there have been some seasons where you can see a MILE away who’s winning. So, like, yes, I want to give her credit for not leading people on, except this is not real life …her whole entire JOB was to lead people on. And she’s failing at it. And failing at being entertaining, too.
Erin: Clare is messy. She’s messier than a friend that doesn’t know that she’s been a bitch. She’s messier than a spill on aisle 5. She’s just also a shitty business woman. Like give me some drama. Get the sponsorship. MAKE ME WANT TO WATCH YOUR FAKE WEDDING. I mean, am I missing something? Does Clare not realize what show she’s on? Does Dale have wonder dick? Like that shit must be really fucking good. Cause no one catches this many feelings off the bat. Dale is BORING. So what, he hugged you when your feelings were hurt. You think we don’t know that your producers sent him over there? THIS AIN’T OUR FIRST RODEO BITCH.
Lyra: I live for the drama and Clare is a messy bench who knows what she wants. Unfortunately she’s on a dating show and she’s not giving the other men a chance. I thought that was the whole gist of this show? Does Clare not know this? Because right now it’s super boring to watch her on TV and swooning over Dale when he hasn’t done anything extraordinary besides being handsome and tall.
Grace: Clare was literally too busy smelling Dale’s pants to have a group date. I think that just shows how immature of a lead she is. It is her responsibility to make sure all the guys get fair time. How is she supposed to give any of these guys a fair shot if she not only cancels ways in which they can further their relationship with her, but also only spend time with Dale during the few hours they get with her? She is 100% selfish and doesn’t take into account that these guys gave up a lot in order to come on this show. Just bring me Tayshia already, please.
Jessica: At the very minimum she should have told the guys she was canceling the date before they sat around waiting for her. I thought it was completely unfair to them. I mean, we all get that she likes Dale, but maybe one of the other guys is even better. Of course, she’ll never know because she doesn’t even want to talk to any of them (unless she’s asking them questions about Dale.)
Let’s talk Dale too – does he owe the other men anything or are you okay with him just basically saying “I don’t care about anyone other than myself, I’m going after what I want.”?
Lizzie: I don’t think Dale owes the other men absolutely anything. He didn’t come here to make friends, and it’s every man for himself. That being said, I just don’t know that I believe Dale OR Clare about their feelings. I just …give them 3 months after this show ends, if that. This doesn’t scream true love to me.
Erin: Dale is boring and he’s only hoping to further is catalog modeling career. Geratric modeling contracts for Dale please! I mean sure, he’s got good abs, but whatever. Dale is a selfish dick suffering from delusions of grandeur. Napoleon suffered from that too…
Lyra: Honestly, Dale has never sat right with me. I’m always really cautious around those people that try to paint themselves as the innocent and wholesome ones that can do no harm. Trust me, they can do harm. And that is what I see when I look at Dale. A stuck up and self-centered person who is selling themselves as a champion of Clare within the circle of men. Also he doesn’t owe anything to the other men but bro code is an okay thing to follow. Like…honestly, people. Plus it makes it more interesting if there’s bonding and unity with the men. (This is my first season of The Bachelorette so I don’t know how they usually act.)
Grace: Dale owes NOTHING to these other men. He does not come on the show to make friends and his focus should be on building a relationship with Clare. That said, he should own up to his actions and not pretend that he had no idea what he was doing. Does Dale really think everyone believes his bathroom story? Man up and just admit that you’re here to spend time with Clare.
Jessica: I don’t think he owes anything to the other guys. He came on the show for Clare. It’s not his responsibility to make sure everyone feels included. I do agree with Grace that he should just be honest about what he’s doing. Plus, he’s a really bad liar.
Yosef. Things were said. We all have thoughts. Give me yours.
Lizzie: Yosef is the only person on this show worse than Clare and Dale. And I mean, this isn’t exactly a wonderful cast. They all pretty much suck. His entitlement, I swear. Who does he think he is?
Erin: Someone told Yosef that he was special and THEY LIED.
Lyra: Yosef is under the delusion that he is the most important person in the room and that rules don’t apply to him. He’s also a condescending asshole who had a point with the strip dodgeball but utterly failed in explaining himself. His grandiose personality leaves a lot to be desired and I don’t know how anyone can find that attractive.
Grace: Listen, Yosef is a pretty terrible person. However, him wanting to bring up his issues with Clare is also valid. The problem was he just delivered it so poorly. If he has concerns about Clare’s maturity on group dates, that is 100% fair. The problem is he went from expressing his concerns to verbally abusing her in about five seconds. Never is that okay and he should be ashamed of his actions.
Jessica: I never liked Yosef, but I thought he had some valid points when he was talking to the group. But then he opened his mouth and went off on Clare. I felt bad for her because he was so awful to her, and the things he said were completely uncalled for. And can we talk about the fact that Yosef is an underwear model now? Yeah…. he’s kind of a hypocrite for being so offended at the dodgeball game, but is okay with modeling underwear.
At this point, is there any guy you like? Anyone you’d save for what’s clearly going to be the next Bachelorette?
Lizzie: I don’t hate Blake M, and that’s about it? But I can’t imagine they’re gonna get rid of all of them, are they?
Erin: No. I don’t like any of them. Bring in some new blood and get the new Bachelorette a sex toy sponsorship. She gonna need it. None of these men are gonna make her neck pop back and buckle her knees. But a rabbit might.
Lyra: Honestly, I’m not invested in any of them. At first I was deceived by food into liking some of them. But now I know I was wrong and I haven’t clicked with anybody since that realization. The guys are going to have to work really hard to get my attention or admiration.
Grace: Honestly, Dale is still my favorite. I still like Blake Moynes a lot and I’m slowly warming up to Bennett. I do think it’s only fair to the next Bachelorette for the producers to bring in a few new guys. Otherwise, she will be completely stuck with Clare’s leftovers which I think is pretty unfair. They are going to be too busy dealing with the aftermath of Clare leaving to fully invest in the new Bachelorette.
Jessica: I really like Eazy. I know there are some bad rumors out there about him, but he seems like a good guy on the show. I still like Blake, too. I’m looking forward to seeing more of them (and maybe some new guys?) once Tayshia shows up so I can find out if I like anyone else.