And we’re back. Not going to even lie, I was a little excited for this season of The Bachelor, because Matt James is hot. But the premiere episode had me questioning a lot in my life and thinking about my judgement. Because this season is looking to be a dumpster fire, and honestly, I am here for it all.
And my excitement over a dumpster fire is either a reflection of the world today or a reflection of way too much time alone.
But either way, here we are and lets talk about the first episode of The Bachelor.
Here we are! The Bachelorette is done, and it’s time for The Bachelor. Are you excited for Matt James, the first Black Bachelor?
Lizzie: I mean, excited is a big word, but we ARE still in the middle of a pandemic and I guess we all gotta get our dose of drama some way, so why not try this one? I generally enjoy The Bachelorette more, because I just enjoy when it’s the men behaving in silly ways, but as I said, I can make do. Especially considering this first episode was …well, it was an experience, to say the least. And the fact that the franchise has gotten more diverse lately can only be a good thing. We all deserve to have people who look like us be everything, even messy on a reality show.
Lyra: I’m excited for diversity and growth on The Bachelor IF they actually make it more than just a scheme to check mark a diversity box. And I understand what the show is about and that it’s supposed to be silly nonsense. But the show also spends a lot of time yapping on about “building deep connections with each other.” Well, building connections means talking about the hard things and not just brushing them aside. And I’ve got a feeling this show is going to do the latter.
Jade: Well, last season of Bachelorette is pretty much my only exposure to the franchise, so I don’t know anything about him. Then again, I understand I wouldn’t know anything about him even if I’d watched every season. They did pack an impressive amount of dumpster fire into a single hour of television, so I’m either super excited or absolutely dreading the season ahead. I can’t decide which. But either way, it’s definitely going to be a complete mess.
Erin: I normally don’t watch this freaking franchise on the norm, because it’s just not that great. But lately, quarantine and all, I have found myself watching it. Look, I am all for diversity and the fact that the franchise has gotten more diverse lately is a good thing. I am all for it and I think everyone deserves to have people that look like them on television. So I hope that the franchise keeps continuing to become more diverse.
The first day is always pretty hectic – so many people, so little time. Did anyone stand out in your opinion? Do you even remember anyone’s name?
Lizzie: I sadly remember Victoria, but not in a good way. I also remember the two women who wore the same dress, and by remember I mean I remember their faces? And I think Matt’s probably pretty low on my list of favorite Bachelor’s – I know he was mostly chosen because of COVID restrictions, but I would have taken about half the men from the previous season of The Bachelorette before him.
Lyra: I remember none of their names or what made anyone stand out. Maybe this episode was a wild fever dream with Party City crowns, a dildo that I hope has been washed, and awfully bland ways to get Matt’s attention.
Jade: I do not remember anyone’s name. At all. Except…was there someone named Kit who didn’t get a rose? There are a few girls I remember, but definitely not in a good way. I don’t know that I personally would want the entire country to know me as “dildo girl,” but hey. I guess we’ve all got dreams.
Erin: Names, no. But “dildo girl” will always be remembered.
It’s the first episode, so we have to ask. What was your favorite job title? And how, exactly, do you get the “Queen” one?
Lizzie: We did get a “Queen,” but at least we didn’t get a “Chicken Enthusiast” or “Never Been Kissed.” So, I’ll take my Queen and thank the Lord, because it could have been so much worse.
Lyra: Chicken Enthusiast had me rolling, omg Lizzie, and the Queen was so basic AF that you know the only person that calls her that is herself when she’s looking in the mirror. Also, is there a wiki on how you can best describe yourself in two words or less when you do the application to get on this show? I’d really like to know.
Jade: I was supposed to pay attention to those? I was too busy cringing? I hate the “Queen” already; she’s clearly going to be a villain of the season. At least she’s confident, though. So that’s…good?
Erin: Am I supposed to care about the made up job titles these people have? Sorry, I missed that memo. But “queen” was a good one, and I am sure some shrink somewhere is ready to help her with her delusions of grandeur.
What would you like to see from this season of The Bachelor, and what do you hope we don’t see?
Lizzie: I always hope two people can come out of this with a real connection, especially if it feels like that’s what they really want. But what do I want? I want to watch and be all like: What in the world was that every freaking episode. That’s what I want.
Lyra: I hope this season of The Bachelor is an absolute shit show with a touch of heart and nuance. I know, big words and big responsibility. But maybe they can balance it all out…. Or maybe I’m putting too much faith in them. Probably am.
Jade: I think the ship has sailed on this season of The Bachelor having any dignity. So I say they should just really lean in to the mess. Channel the chaos of 2020 into the show and just…burn it all down.
Erin: Well, I personally think they should lean into the dumpster fire that is their franchise and just accept that there is not any dignity that can come from this hot mess.