Ah, The Bachelor. You’re always very D-R-A-M-A-T-I-C but rarely are you as cringeworthy as in episode three of season 25, which, if we’re being honest, is actually saying something. Twenty five seasons in this show can still get even more absurd? Who knew?
So, of course, we’re talking about it. Cause, we’re in a pandemic, we all gotta get out quota of WTF somewhere!
Let’s talk about Sarah, but first, let’s talk about the editing of this show. Can we really trust anything about what they show us re: someone’s personality? Did Sarah really go from person 1 to person 2 and then straight into Crazytown in episode 3? What is your view on this?
Lizzie: I trust no one, but I especially don’t trust the producers on this show. After like, 17 years, I’m starting to believe the first Bachelorette, Trista, was really who she was painted to be, and maybe her and Ryan’s love story is actually a love story. Everyone else has to wait at least that long for me to believe it.
But Sarah clearly had some real issues with the ways she perceived what this show is about. And that sounds silly from the outside, but I assume it’s a little like the difference in being told something and having to experience it? I’m not even defending her, she clearly wasn’t built for this show, but a lot of us wouldn’t be, either.
Lyra: You can’t trust the editing for this show, at all! They go through such dramatic back and forths that I’m left reeling episode after episode. Who Sarah was in episode 1 and 2 is not who they presented in episode 3. And no amount of editing can erase that fact. Also, Sarah talking about her amazing connection to Matt and how it’s his first heartbreak on the show….*laughing*. What now?
Jade: I definitely don’t think you can entirely trust what we see on this show. There are no doubt things edited and taken out of context to paint a picture. Which isn’t to say you can’t get some sense of a person’s personality, but you can’t take the show as gospel, either.
I don’t think Sarah was cut out to be on this show, and some of that may be her personality and past experiences. I think Sarah probably could use some therapy, and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. She’s clearly going through a lot right now, and her comments suggest she’s had some unfortunate experiences with infidelity in the past. I doubt being on this show helped, and someone may be able to help her with the complex emotions she’ll be going through. I’m a little surprised that she agreed to go on the show this season, given what she’s got going on with her dad, though I wouldn’t be the least surprised if she was misled in some way to agree to do it.
Ultimately, I think if the show wasn’t distorting the perception of her as a person, it’s best she left the show. And if the show was distorting the perception of her, it’s still best she left the show. I’m not sure who being a contestant on this show is “good” for, but it’s certainly not great for people who are dealing with the imminent loss of a parent and all the grief that goes with that. Staying on longer would only cause her to lose time with her dad, which is a decision I think she would only come to regret – whether or not things ultimately worked out romantically for her.
There’s enough ridiculous stuff in this show without Matt’s Brady Bunch ensemble, but this almost begs the question – what was the most ridiculous in this episode for you? The most embarrassing?
Lizzie: What the actual fuckity fuck was the whole thing with them basically writing erotica about Matt and then reading it OUT LOUD? Have we traded trips to fun, exotic places for “let’s see how we can embarrass all these people, and oh yes, the viewers?” HARD PASS ON THAT.
Also, Matt, dude, it’s not the 70s. Are they letting you pick those outfits or do you need us to save you? Blink three times if you need help.
Lyra: The most ridiculous part of this episode was that they muted all the erotica. These bachelorettes let their freaky flag fly and personally I think it would’ve been hilarious to have an uncensored version posted. If not, then what was the whole point of this exercise? The show really needs to come up with some other creative ideas. Also, the uncensored version should have a cringe meter because dear lord was it bad.
Jade: I write erotica, and the challenge this week had me cringing so hard, my face still hasn’t returned back to normal. I feel like next season they’ll just take their cue from Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life and just have the bachelor/bachelorette have sex in front of the group, giving moment-by-moment tips on how to do it properly while inviting questions from the audience. (For the record, if anyone in charge of the show ever reads this, do not take this as a suggestion.)
A lot of women are still around. Give me 5 names you can remember. Are you actually rooting for anyone, or just rooting against Victoria? Also, why are they bringing more women in? WHY?
Lizzie: Hmmm …I’m mostly rooting against Victoria, as there are just too many women still, and none that I really remember for good reasons, or at least good reasons in relation to Matt. Considering Matt isn’t exactly my favorite, that’s probably good, though.
Lyra: I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am rooting against Victoria. I hope her raggedy ass gets to the top of the show, because the worst ones make it time and time again, before the ball is dropped and all her Matt dreams are crushed. A little savage on my part? Yes. But does she deserve it and would it make good TV? Absolutely. As for the rest of the women…I don’t remember…anyone. That’s why the show keeps putting their names up each time they talk. They know we don’t remember and I’m ok with that. Bringing in new women is just the shows way of making me even more confused. Thanks.
Jade: Could there conceivably be anyone rooting for Victoria? I feel like there’s a Serena, maybe? A Rachel? (It seems there’s always a Rachel in a group, right? Though I couldn’t pick which one that is out of a lineup if I tried.) There’s the one who reminds me of Keira Knightley when she talks (I sadly don’t mean that as necessarily a compliment.) I do remember Magi from her first introduction, though I don’t think we’ve seen enough of her since to give me much optimism that she’ll stay around on the show much longer.
As for why they’re bringing more women in, I can only imagine it’s to give contestants who have already been set up to appear terrible a chance to appear even more terrible. Which is definitely a thing we needed.
Is Matt super-extra-boring by Bachelor standards, and even by regular standards, or what? How do you feel about him? Has he shown you anything that would have made you go: Oh yeah, I would have signed up for this just for a chance at him?
Lizzie: I wouldn’t sign up for this, no matter who the Bachelor was, no matter how much you paid me. Hell to the no to the public humiliation just for, what, notoriety? Nah, don’t want that, especially not this kind of notoriety.
As for Matt, he’s just …a little basic. There’s nothing too interesting about him, other than the fact that he’s super hot. Which, again, the standard for this show, but they often grow a personality as we see more of them, and I’m still kind of …waiting for you, Matt.
Lyra: Matt seems…nice. But “Who is he and does he have a personality?” is a question that pops into my head every single week. I still don’t have an answer and I don’t know if Matt knows the answer either. This makes it so his “moments” or conversations with the women, where he’s expressing how much of a connection he feels with them…just feels like window dressing with no real substance.
Jade: I am baffled. I don’t know how to compare him to other bachelors since I haven’t watched much of the show. But every time one of the women are like, “I knew I had to be on the show when I heard you’d be the bachelor” I’m baffled. He doesn’t seem like a terrible person. I just haven’t yet discerned a key personality trait from him outside of “always kisses with his eyes open” (which is just a little weird). What were these contestants shown or given that made them go, “Yes, in the middle of a pandemic, I will put my entire life on hold and go hang out in a house with 30 total strangers to play Make Out Roulette with a guy who three weeks in has still not displayed a discernible personality?” I guess it’s better than sitting on the couch and binging Tiger King for the third time since the start of quarantine?
The Bachelor airs Mondays on ABC.