Do I get why Girls5Eva is supposed to be funny? Yes, I do. But after sitting through all 8 episodes of the Peacock show, all I knew was that I had no desire to ever reclaim my youth, EVA.
I’ve definitely seen worse shows and also my share of one hit wonders in my life. I’ve seen a lot of people in my life trying to reclaim their youth. Fuck, I’ve even been on five New Kids on the Block cruises. I have legitimately embraced people trying to live their heyday.
But Girls5Eva is just bad and takes cheap shots at all of the time at nostalgia and makes it seem like everything about the 90’s was bad. Yes, all the music was about sex or love, I can admit that, but in the same breathe, I will tell you that it wasn’t offensive shit like “Quit Flying Planes in My Heart”, which FYI was released on September 10, 2001, effectively tanking Girls5Eva. It also wasn’t talking about how someone would be the perfect girlfriend, because their Dad is dead.
The thing about Girls5Eva is it brings some big names behind it – Sara Bareilles, Tiny Fey, Busy Phillipps. Names that make you stop and take notice, but even their genius doesn’t make up for the fact that it feels like it was made because someone knew someone in Hollywood and they were owed a favor.
Or maybe NBC wanted to keep Tina Fey happy.
Dawn (Sara Bareilles), Wickie (Renée Elise Goldsberry), Summer (Busy Philipps), and Gloria (Paula Pell) – as well as Ashley (Ashley Park) are all great actresses, but their characters were just – I have no words. But yet, I’m a bottle and a half of soju in so I’m gonna come up with them.
Dawn lives in Queens with her husband and son, and works at her brothers restaurant. She’s one of those “yes” people and honestly, quite annoying. She doesn’t communicate well, and it too fucking timid. The thing we learn from her – stand up for yourself.
Wickie is a washed up wanna be famous person, who can’t admit that she has washed up. She would sell out anyone to keep herself ahead. The only thing that we learn from her is that social media is fake, but we all know that.
Summer is a role that annoyed me the most, she was “the hot one” and perpetuates the stereotype that blondes are stupid. She married a guy from a boy band that legit only comes home once a month if she’s lucky cause he lives in Tampa and she’s in wherever. Busy Philips is great as Summer, but the role is so annoying that I just role my eyes. The thing we learn from her – don’t be a doormat.
Gloria’s an overweight dentist who came out as a lesbian after the group splits up. She tried to give all the signs while in the group, but no one recognized all of her signs. She never fit in and that’s all she ever wanted to do – was fit in. The thing we learn from her – own your truth.
Ashley, well she’s a memory, because apparently she lost her life swimming over the edge of an infinity pool and TBH, I wouldn’t be shocked if she really didn’t die and came back from the dead. The thing we learn from her – don’t let anyone make you into a hologram.
All their lives are flat out depressing, but the dreams of recapturing their fifteen minutes of fame are flat out dumb. I’m all for following your dreams, but these women going for celebrity is a journey all in itself. The only thing that is truly enjoyable is that you root for them to have a less depressing life and find the joy in their lives again.
And between the few good jokes and the ones that fall flat you root for women to find their way and you do find a little bit of joy when they do.
While some will tell you that some songs were good, I will beg to disagree. Some do stick in your head, like “the song that will drive you insane” does – so, not in a good way. While, I admit that I’d rather listen to them than an American Idol audition – I’d have my ass waxed before having to sit through this series again.
While Peacock has such potential for original programming, in my opinion Girls5Eva was a point where they fell short with potential. The only good thing about the show is the name. Anything else is a hard pass.