If we’re doing a list for the best Christmas movies, well you know we’re going to have a hard time with this, because what it’s going to boil down to is us ranking Hallmark movies. Do we know that there is Lifetime and GACTV? Yes. But we’re trash for Hallmark movies and we rarely stray from the channel.
Legitimately the channel rarely changes unless we have to review something else.
So here we are, Christmas Eve and we’re ranking the movies and talking shit and showing love. Sorry, this year some were just so bad but then there are some that were so good we’re thankful.
We didn’t expect much, because it’s a pandemic. But we did expect growth and that is one thing that Hallmark did show. They are trying and that is to be commended. Is there still work to do? Yes.
Lets rank!
Eight Gifts of Hanukkah
- Aired: Friday, Dec. 3
- Rating: It’s like -10 Christmas Trees
- MVP: There isn’t one
It’s very hard for us to hate a Hallmark movie, but Eight Gifts of Hanukkah, definitely made it easy for us and that’s all we’ll say because Mama told us if you can’t say something nice…
Also side note Hallmark – not everything for Hanukkah is blue and silver. But you’ve traumatized us from using it ever.
Christmas CEO
- Aired: Friday, Nov. 26
- Rating: It’s like -4 Christmas Trees
- MVP: The niece, cause everyone else was just meh
The biggest issue with Christmas CEO is the ending. Someone tell us why the powerful, successful woman is giving up her dreams for a dude? Has she forgotten that she doesn’t need a man? Has she forgotten how hard she has worked? Has she forgotten that being with someone they should support you and not tear you down? Has she forgotten that he walked out on her? Ya, we’re not happy with the message that this one sent.
Making Spirits Bright
- Aired: Saturday, Nov. 27
- Rating: It’s like -2 Christmas Trees
- MVP: The Christmas lights, cause we love lights
It’s an ironic title, because well, it didn’t make anything bright. Just wondering how this was greenlit.
A Dickens of a Holiday!
- Aired: Friday, Dec. 10
- Rating: 0 Christmas Trees
- MVP: The fact that it was over and we could move on
Pretty sure we’re scrooge, cause this one wasn’t great for us. It’s not that it was bad either. It just felt – well, nothing. Rarely did we laugh. We kinda just lost interest and doom scrolled through Instagram. Are we A Christmas Carol’d out? Not really. But we’ll pass on this one
Nantucket Noel
- Aired:
- Rating: 🎄
- MVP: 1988 and wanting its movie back in its time
It’s not that Nantucket Noel was bad – it just felt as though it was a movie from 1988 recycled. It didn’t wow us, but it didn’t bore us. It just felt like it wasn’t anything special. This story was outdated.
A Kiss Before Christmas
- Aired: Sunday, Nov. 21
- Rating:🎄
- MVP: The Desperate Housewives fans who keep these two relevant
So many people that we know were excited over this one, because Terri Hatcher and James Denton were back together. But we didn’t like them in Desperate Housewives together – there just didn’t feel like there was chemistry between them and still doesn’t feel like there is any.
But the storyline was cute and we loved that.
Christmas in Tahoe
- Aired: Sunday, Nov. 28
- Rating: 🎄.25
- MVP: Tahoe for the scenery
It’s everything against the story with this one. It was just bad. We’re giving it a little bit of lee way cause of our love of boy bands. That’s the only reason.
A Christmas Treasure
- Aired: Sunday, Nov. 7
- Rating: 🎄.5
- MVP: Jordin Sparks cause she’s Jordin Sparks
It feels painful to say anything about this movie, because of our love for Jordin Sparks. It just felt slow, as if we couldn’t get to the end. Though, I have to admit that I am willing to overlook a lot because Jordin sang and she’s got a beautiful voice. One that made us happy. The movie definitely scores points cause of Jordin.
Open By Christmas
- Aired: Friday, Nov. 12
- Rating: 🎄.5
- MVP: Alison Sweeney’s hair for never changing
Sorry, we love Alison Sweeney (grew up on her on Days Of Our Lives), but this just fell flat. The romance wasn’t what we wanted. Just felt like a -10 instead of even being there between who they wanted us to love.
A Holiday in Harlem
- Aired: Sunday, Nov. 14
- Rating: 🎄🎄
- MVP: Harlem
When you watch a Hallmark movie, you can usually remember what it’s about. This one wasn’t bad, but it didn’t make an impression that stuck with us. The story could have been great, but somehow fell flat. We’re giving it props though cause it’s set in New York and we love the Harlem area.
Christmas in Harmony
- Aired:
- Rating: 🎄🎄
- MVP: Michele Williams
It is nothing against the story here, we’re (and by we I mean me) just not into an over abundance of singing and there’s a lot for me. And the focus on the singing. We get it – it’s in the title. But meh.
Sister Swap Series
- Aired: Sunday, Dec. 5 and Sunday, Dec. 12
- Rating: 🎄🎄.5
- MVP: The Williams sisters for agreeing to star in a movie with each other and keeping sisterly bonds alive
We could have used just one Sunday of this series, but we loved the teaming up of Ashley Williams and Kimberly Williams-Paisley. The real life sisters had a natural chemistry on the screen that made it fun. But we would have loved it if they were in more scenes together. They are sisters and shine on screen together.
The Nine Kittens of Christmas
- Aired: Thursday, Nov. 25
- Rating: 🎄🎄.5
- MVP: The Kittens
In all fairness we didn’t really enjoy the original. Brandon Routh is great, but there is just something about this role that we’re not dazzled by him with. But we do love Brandon Routh and Kimberly Sustad, and they have chemistry. Just felt like it was a movie for our Grandma and not for us.
A Christmas Together With You
- Aired: Saturday, Nov. 20
- Rating: 🎄🎄.5
- MVP: The internet for making it easy to find lost loves
This movie was charming. We loved that it showed two relationships growing at the same time. Old love and new love are always our favorite tropes. The way it all wrapped together was sweet and heartwarming and heartbreaking along the way. We’ll always stan showing more than one story.
Christmas Sail
- Aired:
- Rating: 🎄🎄.5
- MVP: Kleenex for catching our tears when 5 minutes of the movie made us cry after the rest put us to sleep
We love anything that is about healing and that’s what we thought this would be. Instead we felt pain. Just felt that the dramatics could have been upped and there could have been some chemistry between the leads, but they were dull together. The ship didn’t set sail, or you know, even get felt.
The Christmas Contest
- Aired: Sunday, Nov. 28
- Rating: 🎄🎄.5
- MVP: The costume designer for making us wonder if Candace was wearing her own line
We’re surprised that we ranked this one here too – cause we’re kinda not digging the shit that Candace Cameron says these days. But the truth is, her personal views aside, this was a cute movie, and probably her best Hallmark Movie. It wasn’t perfect but it was decent. One we won’t rewatch, but one we don’t regret watching.
Coyote Creek Christmas
- Aired: Saturday, Oct. 30
- Rating:🎄🎄 🎄
- MVP: Ryan Paevey’s jaw line and tight jeans
This aired at the beginning of Countdown to Christmas, and we loved it. As time went on and more premiered it just felt not as cheery and wonderful as the rest. But Janel Parrish and Ryan Paevey are joys and so we’ll watch it over and over again. But we definitely want more Christmas cheer from it.
Gingerbread Miracle
- Aired: Friday, Nov. 5
- Rating: 🎄🎄 🎄.25
- MVP:The Red Briefcase
We may not be the biggest fans of gingerbread (it’s gross) but this movie was cute. It’s just we couldn’t wrap our heads around gingerbread being magical. Like that’s just not believable. We do love Merritt Patterson, cause you know, The Royals forever.
Sugar Plum Twist
- Aired: Friday, Dec. 17
- Rating: 🎄🎄 🎄.5
- MVP: The Nutcracker for finally not putting us to sleep
Jamie Gray Hyder and Ektor Rivera were great together and that’s what we loved about Sugar Plum Twist. Well one of the things. See, we always love a good mentor and helping others and that’s what this one did. Hyder and Laura Rosguer gave us joy – seeing how they helped and changed each other. Plus, there was dancing and even though it was The Nutcracker, we loved every second.
A Royal Queens Christmas
- Aired: Saturday, Dec. 11
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄.5
- MVP: Julian Morris’s everything
Let us be honest here, the only reason that this one isn’t at the like 26th or 27th spot is because Julian Morris and his accent. It’s enough to make us weak in the knees. And hey, we love a royal falling for a commoner trope. Megan’s accent, though we intended, was something we would like to forget.
You, Me and the Christmas Trees
- Aired: Friday, Oct. 22
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄.75
- MVP: The Christmas Trees for bringing everyone together
Danica, oh Danica… how we’ll miss you in holiday movies for Hallmark. This definitely was one of your best roles ever in a Hallmark movie. You had passion and stubbornness and made us smile. It definitely made us feel the holiday cheer. Also we want to visit a Christmas tree farm.
The Santa Stakeout
- Aired: Sunday, Oct. 24
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄
- MVP: Paul Campbell for being stiff and sarcastic and making it sexy
This movie was fun – a lot of fun. Tia Mowry-Housley and Paul Campbell are so great on the screen together and just seeing the way they played off of each other was great. The storyline was fun and hey, we have to admit it took us awhile to figure out who did it, but we loved it when we did. Everyone seemed to have so much fun and the sarcasm flowed off the screen. It was a great two hours of making us laugh and that’s a welcome thing nowadays.
Boyfriends of Christmas Past
- Aired: Saturday, Oct. 23
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄
- MVP: Raymond Ablack
This would be our literal nightmare. When we dump someone, we never want to see them again. Like there is a reason that you are an ex. However, that being said, we found the relationship endearing – love a best friends to relationship story. Raymond Ablack is now in our top 3 Hallmark hunks. And hey, that’s something that we are celebrating.
The Christmas House 2: Deck Those Halls
- Aired: Saturday, Dec. 18
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄.5
- MVP: The Christmas lights again for bringing everyone together
If we’re being honest we didn’t think we would love this much as we did, but we did. Robert Buckley and Jonathan Bennett stole the show and their brotherly love was amazing. It felt like we were watching brothers become best friends and we loved every second of it.
A Very Merry Bridesmaid
- Aired: Saturday, Dec. 4
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄.5
- MVP: Casey’s voice for making us sleep without medication for a night
Hallmark upped their game with trying to bring in a new generation of Hallmark stars. Emily Osment and Casey Deidrick were charming as fuck (yes, I cussed in a Hallmark article) and we loved them.
This was one of our favorite movies this year, but it had to be knocked down a few spots because of the story outside of Emily and Casey’s characters. Emily’s characters family was so selfish and self absorbed. They all frustrated me. But when it was just Emily and Casey’s characters, we loved.
Side note – Casey should do like a Calm app reading, cause his voice is one of those that could put you to sleep and you wouldn’t be mad about it.
Tis the Season to Be Merry
- Aired: Sunday, Dec. 19
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄.75
- MVP: The script for reminding us everyone has relationship issues
Telling lies that you can’t get out of? Relationships that aren’t there? Finding love with your brothers best friend? Some of us have been there. And well, we just love the trope. They did it well.
Next Stop, Christmas
- Aired: Saturday, Nov. 6
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄.75
- MVP: The train for continuing to travel through time even when shitty decisions were being made.
We loved this movie and wanted to head to Grand Central and buy a train ticket to Hoboken and hope that it took me to the past. Sometimes we need to see things that we didn’t see back then. But also Lea Thompson and Christopher Lloyd in a movie together – yes please. Would have loved it more if we saw them together, but we’ll just rewatch Back to the Future. Lyndsy Fonseca and Chandler Massey were gems though and loved them together.
Christmas at Castle Hart
- Aired: Saturday, Nov. 27
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄.75
- MVP: The Duchess. IYKYK
We loved this movie so much. The trope, the setting, the accents. We love royalty and we love any Hallmark movie set abroad. We love Lacey Chabert and Stuart Townsend and these two have chemistry. But Lacey can make us believe in her and anyone. It’s just the thing is the whole identity theft and faking you are someone else… we hated and loved it. We NEVER EVER condone it. And it was like wait, how is this shit forgiven so easily?
It’s weird how when you watch a movie you like it and then all of the sudden you think about it and you’re like hold the front door… how does this pass as acceptable? Ugh so torn on this one, but we still loved it.
Judge us. It’s fine.
My Family Christmas Tree
- Aired: Saturday, Nov. 13
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
- MVP: Andrew Walkers jaw porn trying to outshine Tyler Hynes’ jaw porn
Our love for My Family Christmas Tree is strong. Why? Because it was unlike anything that we’ve seen on The Hallmark Channel. That and the onscreen chemistry between Andrew Walker and Aimee Teegarden was off the charts. Then there was the father/daughter chemistry that Aimee and James Tupper that made us feel nostalgic for our Dads.
The big thing for us was the way that this movie flowed. The pacing, the cameo by Tyler Hynes , and the Christmas spirit that we felt. We adored it.
It was just Aimee’s character being able to hear people caroling on the streets of New York from what had to be like the sixth floor or above that threw us off. Living in New York, we were like huh?
An Unexpected Christmas
- Aired: Friday, Nov. 26
- Rating: 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
- MVP: Everything. Just everything
This movie was PERFECTION. Tyler Hynes and Bethany Joy Lenz are a dream. Their characters were the type that you’re screaming at the screen, because you want to do something to make sure they end up with each other. It was a pleasure to watch them navigate through and survive Alison Wandzura’s character (she had us laughing the whole way through though). We mean, talk about something most of us can relate to, having dirt on a sibling and not afraid to use it.
It’s no secret that we love Hynes and Lenz, but this film managed to make us love them more. It was the strength and vulnerability that they conveyed in their characters that made us fall for these characters.
You know it’s a great movie when you’re feeling everything for the characters and wondering where the petition is for a sequel.
So tell us, how would you rank this years Countdown to Christmas?
