In an effort to build a space for queer people like myself, every Tuesday I’ll be posting opinion pieces, listicals, reviews, and more focused on the LGBT community (and occasionally about the Latinx/WOC community since I am Latinx.) Welcome to Queerly Not Straight! And for the month of June we’ll be posting an EXTRA dose of LGBTQ+ goodness on Thursdays!
Contrary to popular belief, everything isn’t rainbows and butterflies in the LGBTQ+ community. Like any other group out there, there are divides that grow from within the community. And for this post specifically I wanted to talk about the “passing queer.” If you don’t know what that is, it’s a queer person who doesn’t fall under standard definitions of what a LGBTQ+ person is like, acts like, or looks like.
I know. Confusing, but I got you. And so does Starz VIDA with Emma Hernandez.
Like Emma, I am a part of the LGBTQ+ community and my feelings, experiences, and the way that I express that queer love is just as valid as anyone else out there. And just because I don’t fall into a special box that shouts “lesbian” doesn’t mean I’m confused or a baby queer, as Emma is called during season 2 of VIDA. Which, kudos to Emma standing up for herself and Nico for having her back even though she just met Emma like 2.5 seconds before.
Like Emma, I also don’t have an asymmetrical haircut, a rat tail, or a distinct sense of style that screams “I don’t conform to the hetero way of looking, dressing, or expressing myself.” I’m just…me. And the fact that being me, in a community that preaches love and acceptance across the board, is seen as being confused or not part of the queer community as a whole is very hurtful.
Like Emma, I am queer. I like men, women, and everything in between. To some, those that want to put me in a nice box, even inside the queer community, that makes me selfish or greedy. And it’s none of those things. I just fall in love/like with the kind of person someone is. Simple. I’m not afraid or biding my time until I declare that I am straight or lesbian. I know who I am and seeing VIDA address some of the struggles I go through feels liberating and like I’m actually being seen for the first time.
Like Emma, I’m not confused or indecisive. I’m certain and happy in the knowledge that love or companionship in my future isn’t restricted by what someone has going on in their pants or how they dress as a means of expressing their queerness. And I will continue to fight, just like Emma, against anyone that tries to force me into making a decision or declaration that THEY are comfortable.
Because it’s not about them. It’s not about the rest of the queer community, their acceptance of me or how I identify. It’s about me, what leaves me feeling content, and like I’m being the most honest and real version of myself. THAT’S what matters and I hope you, the non-conforming queer still trying to find themselves in the LGBTQ+ community, understand that you don’t have to conform.
And don’t let anyone tell you that you’re confused or indecisive.
Live your own truth like Emma Hernandez does and fuck everything else!
Starz VIDA season two is available to stream NOW & season three has already been confirmed!
Queerly Not Straight posts every Tuesday (AND THURSDAYS FOR PRIDE MONTH) with opinion pieces, listicals, reviews, and more focused on the LGBT community (and occasionally about the Latinx community since I am Latinx.)
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Lyra enjoys loud mouthed, damaged characters, with a penchant for rescuing people and drinking their sorrows away. When she isn’t splurging on Netflix shows she’s not so quietly ranting about Teen Wolf, The Walking Dead, and Supernatural!