Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist is one of our favorite shows on television. It’s also the rare kind of show, where we genuinely love each of the characters. Which got us thinking: what would it actually be like to date any of them? We decided to have some fun and break it down, speed date style.
Your first impression of Zoey is that she’s adorable, but she’s also a complete wreck. Your second impression of her is that she’s and adorable wreck with no filter. And that she’s somehow surprisingly intuitive about your emotions for someone who doesn’t seem to entirely understand her own. Honestly, you aren’t wrong on any count. But when it comes to Zoey, no matter how much of a mess she can be at times, family and loved ones always come first. Word to the wise: do not let her cook. Or fix your appliances.
Max seems like a golden retriever in a person suit because that’s what he basically is. He’s loyal, funny, devoted, and may even wag his tail when he’s happy. He’ll cook for you and won’t say a word when you steal food off his plate. He’s a secret buff who sings in the shower and is actually good at it. A good listener who puts the feelings of others first, he will notice tiny, thoughtful things about you and commit them to memory. One thing’s for sure: you’ll never have any doubt how important you are to him or how much he cares.
Let’s get this out of the way: Mo is funnier than you, wittier than you, and dresses better than you do. You’ll have to be okay with that because this relationship won’t work otherwise. You’ll think nothing bothers him, but you’re wrong. Take care with his heart, because he has a hard time with second chances. It may take him a while to warm up to you, but there’s absolutely nobody better to have in your corner. A relationship with him is well worth the effort. But do not violate the sanctity of makeover night. Seriously. Do not.
Are you looking for deep, meaningful conversations broken up by intense periods of incredibly hot make-out sessions? Look no further! This man will listen to your problems while cooking you some (okay, possibly questionable) pasta and will make sure you always feel heard. Getting him to open up might take a bit more work, as he’s more guarded than he seems at first glance. There’s also a wealth of pain he’s working through, so if you want to get close to Simon, gentle persistence, understanding, and compassion are key.
Tobin hasn’t dated much, but that won’t stop him from pretending he dates all the time. He’s the epitome of a nervous boy acting smooth. He would totally eat something he’s allergic to if he thinks it will impress you. By the time you meet his best friend, Leif, he’ll already know everything about you. Tobin asked him for advice how to avoid messing things up with you every step of the way. Still, get used to telling him to hush for his own good. No, seriously. This date is going well. Shhhhhhhh…
Leif will spend all day looking for the perfect hole-in-the-wall restaurant and then pretend the whole evening was spontaneous. If the date goes badly, will say he never liked you anyway and you have stupid hair. Then will go cry in the restroom for at least a half hour. You can try to steal his cardigans and chinos, and he will pretend it’s okay but it will secretly kill him if you stretch them out. Also, good luck fitting into them. When you first meet Leif, you’ll think nothing bothers him, but then you’ll realize he’s more fragile than he seems. Take care with this one.
Joan will judge you. She will not be subtle about it. She’s smart, driven, and incredibly busy, so don’t even think about wasting her time. There’s a decent chance her career will come ahead of any relationship, so don’t expect to always be her top priority. But beneath her occasionally abrasive exterior is a compassionate, generous heart that can’t risk being broken again. So whatever you do, please don’t hurt her.
David is the guy at the office everyone has a crush on because he’s cute, funny, charming, and a heart-meltingly good dad. Don’t bother wasting your time, though. If you’re not Emily, he doesn’t even know you exist. But he’ll totally buy you a cup of coffee to cheer you up whenever you’re having a bad day. Because he really is as good a guy as he seems.
Unlike David, Emily does know you exist, but that’s probably because you annoy her. She knows plenty of people have a crush on her, but don’t think that means you have a shot. If you’re not David, she’s not interested, so don’t even try it. Also, take our words for it, and don’t even think about going up against her in the courtroom. You’ll get creamed.
George loves everything you do. Seriously. Everything. You accidentally hit him with your car? He loves you for it. If you ask him about his mother, he’ll cry while he tells you how amazing she is and how much she loves her. Actually, you don’t even have to ask. He’ll tell you about her anyway. The biggest problem with George is his mixed signals. Is he really that into you? It’s impossible to say. He’s like this with everyone.
Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on NBC.