Wild Cards Season 3 Episode 7 Review: ElliMax Joins A Cult

In Wild Cards Season 3 Episode 7 “Yurt So Vain,” Detective Ellis and Max go undercover at a “digital detox retreat” called the Apiary. It’s…a cult. The murder of the week turns out to have something to do with tech bros, Celeste the cult leader robbing the tech bros of their crypto when she’s not creepily watching people sleep or having her followers call her their queen (among other weird things), and a lot a talk about how people are too connected to their phones to actually connect to each other. It’s watchable enough, with Vanessa Morgan seamlessly slipping into yet another character who’s nothing like Max but just as fun. And Amy Goodmurphy’s Detective Yates makes the entire cult setting worth it—if Yates is this thrilled, it’s kind of impossible to hate it. But then, there’s the end scene.

After spending a majority of this episode having a Jessica detox (thankfully), there’s an offer for Max to come have Chinese food on the boat with Ellis and The Girlfriend. It has the potential to go somewhere—to show Jessica that not only are ElliMax very good partners at work, they’re also great when they have their post-case downtime. But that’s not what happens. Jessica is a no-show, so it’s just ElliMax and Marc the Cat. Marc, for what it’s worth, gives Max the happy meows and the good purrs. And, of course, that’s worth quite a lot.

The conversation EllIMax have on the boat, however…isn’t worth much at all. Detective Dumba** brings up the fact that it’s been a while since Max visited, even though she used to just drop in all the time. Now, based on how her last surprise visit to the boat went, it should be pretty obvious she has no desire to repeat that humiliation. Not to mention, you know, Ellis now knows about Vivienne showing up just as Max was on her way to boat off happily ever after with him. So. perhaps, he should figure out that Max watching him fall for someone else hurts. But that would require him thinking about Max’s feelings in a way that makes sense instead of him being clueless on a level that someone with his training should never be.

At any rate Ellis has this to say: “Look, I love Jessica, but it doesn’t mean I should have to choose between her and my best friend.” While he’s correct that loving someone else shouldn’t mean he has to choose his girlfriend over his best friend, there are still boundaries that Max is being an adult and respecting. Furthermore, does he…actually love Jessica? He might think he does right now—he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, after all—but the love he has for Max isn’t just going to disappear either. And loving someone doesn’t mean you’re in love with them. Not to mention, a strong friendship can create a strong foundation for something more—especially when you have more chemistry with the “best friend” than the girlfriend.

However, Wild Cards Season 3 Episode 7 doesn’t really explore any of those ideas and, as I mentioned above, doesn’t show Jessica what she’s up against either. So, it’s more of the same—clueless Ellis, Max getting hurt in the process—when we’re over halfway through the season, now two episodes past what should have been a pivotal moment. That’s unfortunate when this series has so much going for it.

MORE: The previous episode was a great tribute to the Scream franchise, but it was marred by giving Jessica too much of a role in the investigation.

More Wild Cards Season 3 Episode 7 reactions

• For all Wild Cards Season 3’s Jessica-shaped faults, this series can never go wrong by giving us more Yates and Simmons. That opening scene, with everyone sharing that video of Walter the capybara eating a watermelon was such a delight. Even Ellis had fun when he finally gave it a chance!
• “Whatever happened to connecting? Talking? Making eye contact with each other?” “No offense, Sir, but you sound really elderly. I mean, it’s bad.” “Nobody asked. Stop talking.”
• Yates and Simmons trying to whisper about more videos and getting caught. A moment.
• “I just thought I’d have more time to, you know, get ready to go face things. But now I gotta leave, get a place, get a job, avoid all the bad things from my past life. Reconnect with the good. How does anybody do that?” Somewhere in here, there’s a really good message about how we really do need to provide more supportive services to people who have served their time. But every time I see George in this hour, I think “what is he up to.” At some point, that becomes a problem.
• So, as a general rule, every time TV tries to make the point that “oh noes, social media and smartphones are ruining our ability to connect,” I zone out. It’s annoying. You can build great relationships from a distance, actually! Not to mention, if you can’t, what does that mean for keeping in touch when people have to move away? Hm. But anyway. This app in Wild Cards Season 3 Episode 7 turns my usual frustration on its head. An app that does all of the connecting for you, without you actually having to pay attention or interact at all, sounds bad actually. Big difference between digital human interaction and digital slop interaction. SociaScope is clearly the latter.
• “Basically, it was like, ‘SociaScope is evil’ blah blah blah. ‘It’s driving people apart.’ blah blah blah.” Really good delivery here. Just the mockery.
• “You had me at hello.” Ohhh, but that’s a moment to watch for the first time. Anyone who’s actually seen Jerry Maguire will also realize how appropriate it is that ElliMax did the “you complete me” and “you had me at hello.”
• “Yeah, I’d swipe right on her.” “Yates.” “What?! She’s foxy. Sir. And I have eyes.” I am, once again, threatening to give up on ElliMax and pivot to Yates and Max. (Is there a ship name for them? YaMax? MaTes?)
• “If it is, in fact, a cult, there’s guaranteed sex stuff going on. Ok, we’ll take this one off your hands.” “Sit. Down.” Ok but why is Li being extra tough on Yates in this episode? Let her go to the sex cult with Max!
• “I had 1000s of digital connections but no real friends.” Relatable…but also not. Both things can be true: Most of your mutuals aren’t your friends, but you can still make some good ones out there.
• “Life is, you know, life-ing.” Truer words were never spoken.
• “Don’t they have to talk to us? We’re the police.” Emphasis on WE. She’s part of the team!
• “That’s right. I think it’s time we join a cult.” “Let’s go!!” Look at how thrilled Yates is when she pops out of her seat and pumps those fists! “…not you.”
• Li should let Yates have some fun since Wild Cards Season 3 isn’t letting ElliMax have any.
• Is this where I say if you like episodes of TV with wild AF cult happenings, you should stream EVIL?
• “I’m Beth, a nervous, introverted geek who’s desperate for community.” “That’s what you said you were going as. What did you change?” “I changed my glasses. These ones are much cuter. Don’t you think?” Giacomo Gianniotti really has mastered the art of the “why is she like this, and how did I even get here” reaction over the course of this series, huh.
• “What did you say you character name was again? Helen?” “Dylan.” Amazing.
• (Yates would’ve made a fantastic Helen, in love with Beth. Just saying.)
• The way Vanessa Morgan carries herself as she plays/Max plays this nerd character is great. Physical details are important! (This is definitely where I say my favorite performances always feel like a dance to me, in a lot of ways.)
• “That’s for sure. I’d drink her Kool-Aid.” (Whispers: It was Flavor Aid.)
• Check out the array of little micro expressions as Fiona reacts to the name Cornelius but then, unsuccessfully, tries to cover it as she repeats the cult’s “I do not know that name” line. Her whole zen vibe shifts as she just instantly reacts against her will—the alarm surfacing in her eyes, that tiny movement of her brows when Max mentions the dead guy. And Max totally picks up on it. That one raised brow of Morgan’s is everything.
• No, Sir, showing your arms won’t save you this time.
• “I saw four snakes on the way here.” “You did not see four snakes.” “Four twigs that looked like snakes. But still.” Spouses.
• Great imitation of the “I do not know that name” brainwashing.
• “He even calls her his queen. Which you’re more than welcome to call me, by the way.” “Yeah. Don’t hold your breath.” And not even that soft smile. We’re in the deepest, darkest circle of H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks.
• They still have the Snake on phones???
• Sure, sure. Off you go without your weapon or any backup. Snoop around. No one will find you near the super secret van with the bullet casings!
• “You see, I’ve always been a planner. I’ve needed everything planned out to the last detail. That’s how you run a successful con, a successful life. So, then I walk out of those prison gates, and nothing’s running to plan. Everything’s topsy-turvy. It this was a con, it would be a disaster.” Great moment for Jason Priestley. I love the way he builds the emotion as he goes, really letting it all out after initially being careful to choose his words and not let on about…anything that’s going on with the family, really. It’s also just really clever from a storytelling standpoint. George is telling just enough of the truth here—because nothing is going to plan. Unlike the other important man in Max’s life right now, her dad is really brilliant.
• Wouldn’t mind this parole officer dude giving me life advice, to be honest.
• Kurt obviously can’t be the bad guy if he’s yelling “shut uuuup” at Detective Dope like that, can he?
• “I’m a cop, dumba—.” Let this be a lesson in punctuation and sentence construction. You can switch the order of two words and drop the comma here, and the line still works! Because he is also a dumba** cop this season.
• Erica Durance is great in Wild Cards Season 3 Episode 7 overall, but that shot of Celeste reacting to “Beth” calling her “my queen” is a masterpiece.
• “Did you ask about the cult sex?” “No. I didn’t ask about the cult sex.” “And you call yourself a detective. It’s wild.” Yates isn’t wrong…and she deserved to learn about the cult sex!
• …and she’s rich from bitcoin? Why not.
• Oh, her face when she sees that finger…
• “That’s what you get for giving me the finger.” I love her.
• Ellis is so soft when he asks Max if she’s ok?
• “Cause I’m gonna need a gallon of it. I’m gonna bathe in it.”
• “Come on. was there seriously…no sex?” “Oh, my god, Yates. No. There was no sex. ok?” “Damnit. What kind of cult was this? …amateur hour.” Tag yourself. I’m both Yates being mad about the lack of ElliMax cult sex stories and Max cracking up at the way Yates just melodramatically storms off.
• …but poor Simmons.
• “Maybe we should start a cult.” “Yeah, I think I’ll pass on that one.” “Ok. Fine. I’ll start it with Marc. We’ll be two supreme beings ruling with an iron fist.” Marc deserves a cult following more anyway. I, for one, am looking forward to the feline overlords taking over us all.
• Just saying, keeping in with the theme of this hour, George’s little speech at he end is giving “great cult leader.”
• “Oohhh, his purrs. I missed you, Marc!” SHE IS SO HAPPY.
• How can anyone look at the expression on Max’s face when she talks about how things have changed and not realize she’s hurting?
• They’re flirting about tiers of friendship, and he’s ranking her on the same level as his cat…but he loves whatshername. Sure, Ellis.
• Nothing but respect for my favorite Robin Hood.

Agree? Disagree? What did you think of Wild Cards Season 3 Episode 7 “Yurt So Vain”? Leave us a comment!

Wild Cards airs Mondays at 8/7c on The CW. Stream it the next day.