If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, you’d have your house baby proofed from day one – because daddy moves too fast to be denied. You’d hate him because he’d do stuff before you could even think to ask, but you’d also love being pampered. And he would pamper you. Or smother you. He’d be all over you, 24/7, trying to be helpful, and you’d love it …but you’d also hate it.
If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, he’d be a good Dad. He’d love his child – which would work out well for the world, because he wouldn’t want to go back in time to change anything. Yes, he’d love your child enough to not want to screw with time travel. If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, you wouldn’t have to worry all the time about what would change – because for once he wouldn’t be the selfish ass and change all of history.
If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, you would have thought you were having sex with a two pump chump. Why? Because he’d be so attracted to you that he wouldn’t know to slow his ass down. It would take time, but you’d get him under control and then you’d realize you’re better off ass friends. He’d always want to be with Iris, and you just aren’t in the mood for competition. If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, you’d be second best and that shit would suck. But it would be okay, because your child would be first.
If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy you’d be annoyed, because he would always be on the go. You’d want to have him there and present – and it’s not that he wouldn’t want to be – but you know, crime fighting and meta humaning is hard. If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, you’d always be freaked out – cause who knows what creature would come after you.
If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy your kid would be lucky. Joe would be a great Grandpa. He’d protect you as one of his own – because if there is one thing that he’s learned – it’s that kids need their parents. He wouldn’t want a hole left in his Grandkids heart.
If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, you would become best friends with the home security monitoring operator. Cisco would have built your kid such tight home protection – you can barely crack the code to change a diaper.
If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, your kid would never run away. They’d get bored with the fact that they wouldn’t be able to outrun Daddy. If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy and if you had a little girl – God help the boy that breaks her heart. He can’t outrun the justice that he would be served. Or hide from Cisco.
If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, you’d never want for anything. You need something, he’d drop everything. He knows the meaning of family. If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, you’d be lucky – because even if he loved someone else, married someone else, or anything else – you would know that your child would come first. He’s lived enough heartache.
If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, he wouldn’t want that for his child.
If Barry Allen was your baby Daddy, your child would come first and that’s all that matters.
