Grief. Grief is all consuming and changes you. It’s an inevitable part of life, but it is a big part of life. Some of us let our grief show. Some of us compartmentalize so we never have to admit or acknowledge what we feel.
They say that there are 5 stages of grief, but rarely do we talk about what happens beyond that. The sixth stage.
Desire. Desire is a tricky feeling. It’s an intoxicating feeling and it is a feeling that we forget can both be good and bad.
The council was prepared to support Robin through everything. But desire… well, that changes everything.
Desire is one of those things that we all want to feel and want to take in, but it is also a thing that has timing and it doesn’t always come at the best of times.
ROBIN IS A HORNY TEENAGER
When your husband dies – how long do you need to be able to move on? What is the appropriate amount of time before you are able to date again?
This is something that you would assume would be your decision, but when it’s your husband that dies and you have five kids, you have to know that everything you do has consequences.
For Robin – like most grown ass women – she’s got needs. She wants to be touched, to be held, to be loved. She of course misses her husband, but it’s been five months, and over seven since she had sex. She’s having sexual fantasies about everyone.
And it’s kind of scaring her. For her it feels like she’s cheating on her husband. She feels as though she’s doing something wrong, when what she doesn’t realize is that she is just being human.
Now, I think we’ve all had sexual fantasies. Me, personally, I keep that shit to myself. However, Robin goes to talk to her best friend – Ollie. And Ollie would be the safe choice to talk to – except Robin’s even having fantasies about Ollie.
And you can’t blame him for wanting to know if he’s good. She tells him he’s great. And you can’t help but laugh because you see the closeness of their friendship and you can’t help but want a friend like that in your life.
It’s hard to miss intimacy. A simple touch can change your attitude. It’s. normal to crave intimacy. It’s just hard when you’re dealing with the fact that you’re dealing with grief.
Leave it to Ollie to do research on how to help her. He found a blog that a woman was going through the same thing. For the woman who owned the blog, she kissed a stranger to see if she was ready to move on. Her brother had literally asked on Twitter if someone was willing to kiss his sister.
I would beat my brothers ass.
But Robin isn’t resorting to Twitter. She talks to a co-worker, Henry, who says that he will do it. Ollie is excited that she’s willing to take the chance to do something. That she’s taking care of herself. For Robin – she doesn’t know how to put herself first.
Robin goes to meet her coworker – he is hot. She says she feels ridiculous. He says she can, whatever she needs. It’s all up to her. Robin thanks Henry – for this. He says that his stepmother was the determining factor and how if his Dad would kissed more ppl he wouldn’t have married a narcissist.
She starts to cry. She says she can’t kiss him. He asks if he can hold her hand and starts to ask her questions to make her feel more comfortable. Henry is a good guy and I respect the fact that he is trying to be there for her. She said that holding hands and talking about Scott was more intimate. She asks if she can kiss him because she wants her first kiss after scott to be with a good guy.
OLLIE NEEDS TO FIGURE OUT HIS HOME LIFE
Ollie is a good man. He wants everyone to be happy, but he doesn’t have happiness in his own home right now.
His husband is jealous of him being on the council. Peter wants to spend time with his husband. He wants to feel wanted. He wants to feel needed.
And Ollie wants to make it up to his husband. He wants him to know that he is committed to the relationship, but the truth is that their problems are bigger than either one realizes. I mean these are two men that can’t be honest with each other.
But in the same breathe if you really look at it – it’s Peter that is having the biggest issues.
Peter says that though he appreciates the massage, it’s not really spending time together. They aren’t in the room talking. They aren’t connecting. What they are doing is spending time in the room barely able to communicate.
And boy do they make that massage uncomfortable. Like I wanted to run out. But the two do leave (I think someone farts, but I am unsure) and go home. They make love and that’s when things go really fucking wrong.
Ollie wants to connect with his husband, so he asks if he really thought that things were so bad that they would be getting a divorce. That’s when Peter decides to come clean and tell him that a few months ago – when drunk – he kissed one of their friends. The friend kissed him first and Peter kissed him back.
Peter tells him that it didn’t mean anything, but for Ollie it did. Because the truth is Peter cheated on him before and for Ollie it feels like a slippery slope back to the way that things used to be. He storms off pissed and I can’t blame him.
LARRY’S LIFE AFFECTS JJ
Larry is a hard ass. I will say that. He truly is – but he’s one of those hard asses that this family needs.
The kids may not always like his methods, but that doesn’t bother Larry. Because he does it with truth and honesty, and he makes sure that they are taken care of. He wants to honor Scott.
But he also wants his past to not interfere. Larry was a drunk and he isolated his kids from his life. They don’t speak. But his Granddaughter, Ivy, is in JJ’s class and her birthday is coming up.
JJ was the only person in the class not invited to the party. It’s laser tag and it’s something that he wants to do.
Larry so desperately wants to fix this for JJ. I think for Larry, this is an opportunity for him to fix things that he couldn’t fix in his own life. But his daughter wouldn’t take his call.
I really do hope that we learn more about Larry’s past. I think it’s important to shaping him correctly for all of us. Larry seems like a good guy, but we know that he’s overcome some stuff that we can’t even begin to imagine dealing with.
Larry wants to fix this – but Robin reminds him of the reality – you can’t fix everything for kids. But what you can do is be there for them and guide them through it. You can’t fix everything – this is true. But it’s a testament to someones character that they want to.
JJ is of course pissed when Larry can’t fix it. But when Larry comes up to talk to him, cookies in hand, I know one thing – Larry genuinely loves this kid and JJ genuinely loves Larry.
Larry doesn’t like his past and that’s a sign of change. What I can respect about Larry is that he wants to be a better man. He won’t stop until he is one. He respects Scott’s wishes.
Larry apologizes to JJ that he couldn’t fix it. JJ apologizes that Larry wasn’t invited.
JJ is one of the best characters on this show. The way he cares about people, the way that he is there for people, is one of the most beautiful things about this show.
THEO’S LIFE IS CHANGING
If there is one person who is having the worst time dealing with Scott’s death, I am going to say that is JJ. That poor kid has the world against him and he’s at a vulnerable age. The age where he needs guidance and he needs his Dad. He doesn’t feel like he has anyone.
He’s trying to relate to Anthony. Anthony is teaching Theo how to work in the kitchen. Margo is calling him out for doing things the wrong way. They race to see who can open them fastest. She won and got excited. Anthony can’t stop smiling and Theo asks if he’s into her.
Theo tells him about the senior girls at school who said that they were going to initiate him. He doesn’t know into what – but for Theo, he’s hoping it’s sex. One can’t blame him – that’s a typical teenage thing. His body is changing. He’s growing.
His hormones are out of control.
Anthony tells the council that Theo is being flirted with and he needs the sex talk. Now, Anthony doesn’t want to betray Theo but I have to say that I think that Anthony did what was best. Theo needs guidance and as much as he doesn’t want to deal with it – he does need to know that everyone is there for him.
The council decides that he needs the sex talk. I legit would rather be smacked in the face than have to sit through a sex talk. Like as a teenager I would really want to deal with anything but the sex talk.
Robin tries to give the talk, but Anthony chimes in. Theo says that this is traumatizing. They won’t stop telling him to be careful. He needs to get consent. Theo is upset and can’t wait to leave.
I wouldn’t have stuck around that long. I woulda ran earlier. I mean that shit sticks with you. As Theo runs, Anthony goes after him and gives him a condom and tells him it just takes one time and it can have massive ramifications.
We know Anthony. You backstabbing ass.
Party time – Theo tells Charlotte to leave him alone he’s got this. She wants to be there to protect her brother – he wants to get it on with the hot girl. In my opinion Theo wants to grow up too fast. He doesn’t have to.
You know that initiation that he thought was gonna be sex, drugs, or whatever. It was actually something sweet. The senior girls wanted Charlotte and Theo to know that they weren’t alone.
The took them a cemetery to introduce them to a statue. They go and talk to this statue when they feel alone. The two of them are a member of the “dead parent’s society.” They’ve each lost a parent.
The truth is that I wish that I would have had someone who understood when I lost a parent. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world. I know it may not be what Theo wanted, but little does he know that it will be what he needs.
BUT – Theo is about to be hurting even more, because on the way home he sees his Mom making out with some stranger in a car. He’s not ready for his Mom to move on. For Theo, it feels like yesterday that his Dad died.
And when his Mom returns home and lies about where she was – Theo is even madder. He doesn’t want to talk to her, even when she’s trying. He wants to be left alone. She’s not listening, but he’s praying more than anything that she will. He’s breaking.
Robin goes to the water and is throwing rocks. She’s distraught. It’s hard to be a Mom and it’s hard to feel like you can’t do anything wrong. Anthony comes down and wont leave her alone. He is trying to tell her that she is a good mom. She says she was a fail today.
Robin wants everyone to know that this wasn’t a date, but Anthony keeps assuring her that it would be okay if it was. I like Anthony, but he doesn’t realize the lines that he crosses and the way that his lies will ultimately affect the family.
Larry comes down and says Hope is up. He tells Anthony that robin is vulnerable and that he is the closest thing to Scott and maybe he doesn’t see it but he’s stepping way to close to the line.
Anthony runs – because that’s what he does. I love that Larry doesn’t give a fuck and is going to tell them all like it is. He’s not there to sugar coat anything. He’s there to be there for them.
Anthony goes to the restaurant. Margo is there. She invites him back to her place for a bottle of red. We get it Margo – he’s hot. BUT you are dancing on line that you don’t want to cross.
LULY IS ADULTING
With selling the crab shack – everyone of Scott’s kids has a nest egg. Luly has 50,000. She’s a girl with a dream of being a writer and lets be honest, that could come in very handy.
But she’s also married and supporting his husband with this dream. Evan wants to buy a house and remodel it. And she doesn’t hesitate to stand behind him and his. dreams.
And so when it goes to auction – the two of them are right there and they want to pursue their dream. Luly is so supportive, she doesn’t think twice about being there.
I personally think that Luly has seen the type of wife that Robin was and wants to emulate that. But she quickly learns they dive into things way too fast. The house is trashed. It needs to be cleaned and the renovations are extensive.
Evan and Luly know that they need help and they bring the council back to look at the house. They want to borrow 20K to renovate. And it’s not easy for anyone on the council to tell them no, but they think that they are in over their head.
Anthony agrees they are in over their heads, but you see this look on his face that he wants to be there for her. This is his little girl. He may be the only person that knows it – but he doesn’t know how to keep letting her down.
When Luly gets angry and confronts Anthony, she tells him that they were calling Evan and her an idiot.
Look, I don’t expect much from Anthony, but his response was the most fatherly thing he’s ever done. He tells her to prove him and the council wrong. He wants her to succeed. And you can see in his eyes how much he loves her.
That house may test Evan and Luly, but they’re gonna be there for each other. And that’s the most beautiful thing.