Mold. That’s what I think Relic is about. A giant freaking mold problem that led everyone to trip balls from here to kingdom come. Am I 100% sure? Nope. I don’t think I’m sure about anything in this movie. And that’s why it was so disappointing. You’ve got a mold problem, Karen. Like a really serious mold problem that has somehow transferred over to your mum, who is in fact losing her marbles or already lost them. That’s it. I think.
I didn’t get any explanations in this movie. Why was grandma eating old family photos in the forest? God only knows. Where was she for 3 days while everyone was looked for her? I don’t know. Was it a monster? A ghost? A wendigo?! I. DON’T. KNOW. And I’ve got a feeling even the director didn’t know what was happening when it came to this movie. Or she did and it’s just too highbrow for me.
Anyway…back to that mold problem.
It could’ve been used for so much more. They could’ve been tripping balls and nothing was really happening to any of them. They would have escaped the house, the mold problem staying behind as a symbol of what used to be and what could no longer grab a hold of grandma or the rest of the women of this family. But nope. All we got was a shit load of water damage, mysterious flashbacks, and some black mold for the record books.
Also, why was there an entire section of the house that was separated from the rest? Did Grandma know? Was it a different dimension that could think for itself, trapping its victims in its tangled web? OMG WHAT IF GRANDMA WAS THERE FOR 3 DAYS?! That has to be it. Problem solved, gang. Grandma was stuck in the walls for days, becoming one with the mold. Interesting. And when the mother and daughter got stuck there, they saw the beginnings of the mold becoming one with them too?
But the most crucial question, the one that I need answered because my small mind doesn’t get it. Why in the ever loving scary movie hell would a daughter start peeling off her mother’s dead skin in a gentle and timid manner before curling up around her withered almost corpse? Pretty sure that’s not normal and not what mom wanted. Hell, what mom would want that at all? In my book, they should’ve left grams and survived.
But what do I know?
Nothing.
Especially about this movie. It all means nothing and I really wish I could go back in time and save past Lyra from having to witness this shit show.
Relic is now available to watch On Demand.
yikes, worst review. definitely went over your head.