I have never been one for games. I think that playing games is bullshit, because it messes with peoples feelings and it messes with peoples hearts. And when you’re a teenager, that shit can change everything – for the good and sometimes not so good.
One thing that I have appreciated over this season is that we’ve seen a lot of character growth. Everything is always changing but that’s what life is. Life is changing for everyone all the time.
But for Belly, change is a lot. Coming into her own is a lot. Feeling a lot of feelings about a lot. Especially when your feelings are for two brothers.
Someone is going to get hurt. Actually everyone is. It’s just a matter of time.
THE CONFUSION
There is no part of Belly’s life that isn’t complicated and well, her life with the Fisher boys is definitely very complicated. We’re picking up the next morning after her kiss with Jeremiah and she’s even dreamt about her feelings for both Jeremiah and Conrad.
Conrad has been her dream, but Jeremiah is real. He wants her to be happy, but he also wants to be with her. I know, I know – Belly is in the position to be with him, but I think even she realizes that she doesn’t know what she wants.
Conrad is everywhere and anywhere all the time. He’s all over the place, but it’s getting to be too much. Susannah wants him to take Belly to the ball, but that sets him on another level of panic. Conrad loves Belly, but he’s not there. He also doesn’t want to let his Mom down.
The only thing that I am happy about when it comes to this is that Conrad is forced to come to terms with feelings. While on the boat with Cleveland he has a full on panic attack and you can see some relief come to him when he finally says what is on his mind.
And I broke. Like full on tears.
Conrad doesn’t want to tell his Mom that he knows about her being sick, because if he doesn’t say it out loud, then maybe that’s what is keeping her alive. He doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not all on him.
But hearing someone say it, hearing someone tell him, makes him feel better about it. It makes him feel the weight has lessened and that he can live, instead of existing.
THE TOURNAMENT
Belly has spent her life waiting for Conrad. She’s been waiting for him to acknowledge her, to see how much she cares. She’s been waiting for him to show how much he cares.
But when he does, it is too late.
He tells her that he’s sorry. He tells her that he made a mistake. He tells her he wants to take her to the ball. And she says she’ll think about it. Luckily she’s saved by the bell and the hurricane that is Taylor arriving.
Taylor is trying to be a great BFF and I can appreciate that, but the thing is – no one should tell you how to feel and sometimes I feel that’s exactly what Taylor is doing to Belly.
Especially when she manipulates the tournament. Belly is all about winning this volleyball tournament and raising money for charity. But Taylor, who is clearly team Jeremiah, fakes an injury to get him to play with Belly.
And at first everything is going well, but soon she’s loosing and that frustrates Belly. She doesn’t like to loose. Doesn’t want to loose and she subs Conrad in for Jeremiah.
When Belly starts to win with Conrad, there was a part of me that wondered, is this the way that things are supposed to be? Things are supposed to be easy with Conrad? She seems happy, she seems in sync with Conrad. He seems happy.
Sometimes I think that there is a part of all of them that thinks that knows who Belly should be with, but the only person that really knows is herself. I think that to a point, she’s protecting her heart. She doesn’t want to let someone in and get hurt.
And every time I see Belly on the screen, I wonder how she would choose. How she could choose. Because at that age, at any age, why should the heart be so complex? Love isn’t easy at all, but at sixteen it’s just overwhelming.
It’s hard.
It hurts.
And things get worse when Susannah asks Belly if Conrad asked her to the ball yet, she had told him he needed to. There is no bigger pain than knowing that what you thought was a breakthrough was a lie. You can see it’s hurtful to both Belly and Conrad.
THE PARTY
Steven is so wrapped up in his own life that he doesn’t really see what is going on with anyone else. I am not knocking Steven for that, but I also wish that he would open his eyes.
Jeremiah doesn’t want to go to a party that night, because he doesn’t feel up to it. Jeremiah is upset over Belly and Conrad. When Conrad enters the room, he leaves the room. Steven manages to get Conrad to agree to go to the party, which hey, good for Conrad to rally.
But Belly and Taylor, instead, go to Nicoles. Her Dads boat is in town and she wanted to have a party there. Not sure why it is that Belly trusts these girls, because they’ve shown that they blame her for everything.
But I also get wanting to be liked. I understand that more than I care to.
What Conrad feels or doesn’t feel for Belly is not her fault. It’s actually not even close. The whole town has their theories on what is going on with Belly and the Fisher boys.
Shayla thinks she’s hooking up with Jeremiah. Nicole thinks it’s Conrad. And when Conrad sends Belly a text and Nicole sees it – the Deb girls leave Belly and Taylor at the cove and take their clothes.
Sorry, not sorry, these Deb girls are all sorts of wrong. Like you don’t do that to people. You don’t take their clothes and leave them stranded naked in a body of water. I get it – they left a phone, but that doesn’t matter.
At least not to me. There is no course of redemption for these girls.
I get it. As teenagers we’re all a bunch of idiots. But this is beyond reproach. Belly and Taylor set off on a walk home, wrapped in a tarp.
But Nicole, she goes and confronts Conrad. I am not ever going to say that he didn’t need a come to jesus moment, but I will say that she needs one too. IDGAF how many guys wanna be with you Nicole, you’re a shitty person and you did something really shitty.
That’s not okay. She tells Conrad that his girlfriend (Belly) and her friend will need this and hands him their clothes. He’s confused, but it doesn’t take long to figure out what is going on.
THE PAIN OF STANDING TALL
Belly gave in and called Jeremiah, letting him know what happened and how she needs him. I have to respect that Jeremiah and Conrad are the type that will always show up for her. For anyone they love.
Susannah raised good boys. She’s raised boys that know how to be polite and be there for others. And yes, we can appreciate that. We can appreciate the men that Conrad and Jeremiah have come to be.
When they both show up for Belly and Taylor, I applaud. But I also wonder, what would have happened if Conrad would have been the one to show up alone? Taylor has gotten into Belly’s head, but in the same breath, Belly’s also gotten into her own head.
Taylor tells Conrad that it would have been a good night if he had just let Belly go and if he stopped playing games. Not your place Taylor.
Am I happy for Belly that she feels comfortable with Jeremiah? Of course. But my thing – my hang up – is that I don’t think she’s moved on from Conrad. I don’t think that she knows what she wants.
And when you don’t know what you want, but you’re still playing (even unintentionally) with peoples hearts, that is a recipe for disaster. These are two brothers.
Belly seemingly makes her decision – making out with Jeremiah in the car and letting him go to second base. Even asking him to be her date to the ball.
And when Conrad talks to her and makes his apologies and gives her the infinity necklace, can I just say kudos to Belly for having the courage and strength to tell him it’s too late. Cause I woulda crumbled.
Instead I cried as she walked away, leaving the infinity necklace in his hands. She didn’t look back. She carried herself forward.
OTHER THOUGHTS
- Jeremiah and Susannah’s relationship is everything.
- It’s gonna break my heart when Jeremiah finds out what is happening with his Mom.
- Conrad thinking that he’s such a fuckup all the time is sad. I am honestly broken for him. It’s not right that someone would think so badly of themselves.
- Laurel and Susannah being so proud of the kids winning their game. My heart swelled.