House of the Dragon is making me think back to the days when the Arrowverse was a thing. When we would stay up and watch 4-5 shows in a week because we were promised an “epic crossover” of which we’d never seen before with characters we loved. But no matter what superheroes popped up or how much time passed, there was one thing that we could agree on that we hated: the wigs.
Years later, the Arrowverse basically dead, I’m forced to think back on those times and reflect on the wigs because the House of the Dragon wigs are a tragedy. Sorry, not sorry, but they did Rhaenyra Targaryen dirty. They did Daemon Targaryen really dirty (especially that long hair). And don’t even get us started on Laena and Laenor Velaryon who could’ve looked absolute fire with the right wig. And with a budget as huge as the one HBO has, you’d think they’d shell out money for wigs that don’t look stiff and wash out the actors who wear them.
That’s how we ended up here, comparing the House of the Dragon wigs to the disasters that were the Arrowverse ones. Let’s begin.
1. Oliver Queen Pre-Island Wig
Why it’s horrible: It’s giving us fratboy early 2000’s that is totally going to sleep with your sister, take her on a yacht, and then disappear for years.
Why it’s better than House of the Dragon‘s wigs: It tells a story. Yes, the story is of a douche. But it does it well.
Buy it at Party City here.
2. Emo Barry Allen
Why it’s horrible: It’s giving us, “You don’t know how hard my life is so I’m going to artfully style it across my face to look mysterious and stuff.”
Why it’s better than House of the Dragon‘s wigs: This took time. Emo Barry woke up every day and chose this life. He bought those bobby pins, set his hair, and blow-dryed it at an angle. A for effort.
Buy it at Spirit Halloween here.
3. Damien Darhk’s Karen haircut
Why it’s horrible: It’s giving us, “Ma’am you can’t use this coupon because this is for Kohl’s and we’re Burlington Coat Factory.”
Why it’s better than House of the Dragon‘s wigs: Look at those highlights. You know what that is? Maintenance. Also, extra points for Arrowverse pulling all that hair forward because Damien’s real identity needed to be kept secret because missions?
Buy it at Spirit Halloween here.
4. Emo Felicity Smoak
Why it’s horrible: Unlike Emo Barry Allen, it’s giving us, “I’m not like other girls. I’m cool. I’m edgy. But I’m also tragic and stuff.”
Why it’s better than House of the Dragon‘s wigs: I would trust this woman with all my hacking needs and then some. Also, her music choices are probably fire.
Buy it at Party City here.
5. H. Lothario Wells Wig (Plus Stache)
Why it’s horrible: It’s giving us, “Hey cool kids. How’s it hanging? Did you see that new TikTok where the guy drinks cranberry juice while skateboarding and listening to Fleetwood Mac? Wild man.”
Why it’s better than House of the Dragon‘s wigs: This is a man with conviction. Would I run away from him at first glance? Yes. But he chose to wear that stache and hair combo and I just wish I had a quarter of his confidence.
Want to buy it? Well, tell us where to get it because we couldn’t find it. Instead, learn more about Wigs for Kids and how you can help children.
Final thoughts: Don’t be like the Arrowverse, House of the Dragon. Be better. And while you’re at it, listen to your diverse castmates and learn about texture, style, and that not one size fits all.
