Dolly Parton is a hero to many — a superhero, if you will. After Sarah Michelle Gellar recently confirmed on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon that Parton was a producer on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, we came to the only possible conclusion. If slayers were real, Dolly would absolutely be one. And since we like to believe that our faves are real, that’s that. The icon could totally be the Chosen One.
Has the singer-songwriter had the type of physical training a slayer would need? We’re not completely sure. Although, she did manage to outrun Sandra Bullock FBI Agent Gracie Hart in Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous. And, well. Even if that particular chase did end with Gracie tackling her to the ground, our girl still managed to escape that encounter. As a matter of fact, she survived it pretty much unscathed. Now, perhaps that implies some sort of supernatural healing abilities; perhaps not. You be the judge.
But ok, we’ll admit that the movie was pure fiction. Not to mention, someone who’s supposed to be able to take on all sorts of scary things that go bump in the night would probably not have been tackled in the first place. Fine. So, maybe she was just one of the potential slayers for her generation or whatever. Either way, she has one vitally important thing in common with Buffy Summers, who is the gold standard of slayers. Namely, she saved the world a lot. And, as far as we know, she did it without dying. Which, actually, score one for Dolly.
All jokes aside — or are we joking? Maybe not! — Dolly Parton has probably done more to stand between this world and the forces of darkness than any fictional character ever could. We’ve dedicated coverage to some of those efforts here at Fangirlish, including funding higher education for Dollywood employees and, of course, her contribution to the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine. That last one has saved countless lives. So, if we’re going to talk about how every girl who could have the power will have the power, we definitely know Dolly has already proven she fits that description. And yes, she can stand up. We all know she’s always showing the world that she will stand up.
While we’re at it, when Gellar finally set the record straight on the Dolly-Buffy rumors, she said something that’s totally relatable. More to the point, her comment is totally something that can help prove our point. Or, at least, we’re going to do some mental gymnastics and force it into being evidence for our theory. You see, at some point, the living legend was asked about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And, according to SMG:
“…she complimented the show and my performance. And I was like, ‘oh! I can die now. Dolly Parton knows who I am and thinks I’m good.'”
Now, if Buffy Anne Summers “can die now” because of something having to do with Dolly…and we all know that woman is most definitely not evil…There’s really only one conclusion here, gang. It’s called Dolly Parton is a slayer. You can fight us if you want, but we won’t be able to hear you over our fangirling. (Side note: We, too, would decide we could die if Dolly the Vampire Slayer ever knew who we were.)
