Move over Gillian Anderson — Kate McKinnon just dropped a new celebrity crush during her Saturday Night Live hosting gig. Not only that, but Billie Eilish went with the same choice. Or, well, at least their characters in the “Whiskers R We” sketch did. It’s all the same to us. Because let’s be real: Quite a lot of people have a crush on the one, the only Cynthia Hooper Olivia Benson Mariska Hargitay. Not only that, but we’re pretty sure this latest Hargitay name-drop is further proof of the cats’ plan to take over the world. And let the record show: We welcome our feline overlords — especially if they have their very own, very fluffy, Mariska Hargitay to bring with them when they inevitably conquer us humans.
Out of context, that probably sounds nuts. But! Hear us out. (Sure, it’ll probably still sound nuts…but we’re gonna say what we have to say anyway.)
Hargitay recently posted on Instagram about her unfairly-gorgeous new cat named Karma. (Insert something cutesy about pets and their owners sharing characteristics here.) Now, during the announcement, she tagged Taylor Swift, partially as a reference to Swift’s song that bears the same. But, of course, there’s also the connection of Swift having a cat named Olivia Benson for Hargitay’s iconic Law & Order: SVU character. So, as Swift put it in her comment on the post, “Nothing has ever come more full circle.”
Now, back to your regularly-scheduled SNL sketch and how this is clearly proof that we’re finally getting closer to a world utopia in which we are all either cats or governed by them. During the “Whiskers R We Holiday Cat-tacular,” Kate McKinnon’s Barbara DeDrew character notices that her companion for the day (Eilish) has…a lot of things in common with her. So, in the middle of the Cat-tacular, she does a little test to see how much deep those ties run. (Spoiler alert: It’s hereditary.) The final test is the “celeb crush” question, and on the three-count, both answer “Mariska Hargitay” and then go full stan.
And! At just that moment, Barbara introduces the audience to “Maris-cat Hargitay,” who stars on Claws & Order “and she always catches the purr-p.” Which, first of all, we’d absolutely watch and review that show. Second, we’re thinking the introduction would go something like this…
In the criminal justice system, the humans are dominated by two separate yet equally important groups: The felines, who demand their time and service, and — just kidding on the “two” part — also the felines, who prosecute the offending humans for bothering them. These are their stories.
(…or insert your/your cat’s take here…)
So, before now, we had a feline version of Mariska Hargitay’s fictional character that had a connection to Taylor Swift and her song. But, as of December 2023, Billie Eilish — also a chart-topping, award-winning musician — has come into contact with her own Hargitay-inspired feline? And the animal in question now has a name very similar to the actor’s…and her own procedural, to boot?
Coincidence? Maybe. But considering the state of humanity, we’re hoping not. Like we said at the top of this thing, we welcome the opportunity to live in service to the cats. Now, all we need to know is if Maris-cat Hargitay plays Olivia Benson (cat era) in Claws & Order or if that’s, somehow, a whole different thing. Also, when do we meet Cats-topher Meow-loni already? Obviously, Maris-cat needs a playmate, and Cat!-ptain Benson needs her paw-rtner. Regardless, if the cats got Kate to dump Gillian so soon after they got Mariska on their side, we know something’s up. And it’s something big. A cat-pocalypse, perhaps.
Attempt to prove this conspiracy theory wrong at your own peril. The cats are, after all, watching. Thank you to Kate McKinnon for spreading the good purr-d. Now, if only the cats would be gracious enough to get Mariska Hargitay to host at some point. Maybe they could even convince Taylor Swift to join her as the musical guest. Got thoughts on that? Leave us a comment!
Saturday Night Live returns on January 20, 2024 on NBC.
