The first season of Doc has been quite a surprise for me. It’s been one of those shows that has both ups and downs. After episode four, I felt like it was finding its footing. Doc Season 1, Episode 5 did something different to me – it made me fully invested in the characters.
After this episode of Doc, there is something that I know – hospitals are dramatic and so are their patients.
Any job can feel like high school – with its gossip and cliques. We may never grow out of these things as we grow up, but we should. I would hope that we never grow out of feeling things deeply. I would love for people to find that sense of belonging.
Doctors are different. You spend the majority of your life inside the hospital doors, rarely able to break free and have a life. So your life is what is built inside those doors and helping the patients that you have. Medicine is a commitment. It is some people’s lives.
Doc Season 1, Episode 5 did 3 things for me. It gave me a love triangle, redeemed a doctor, and made one more unredeemable.
DO YOU WANNA GET MARRIED
Getting married is stressful. Really stressful. So we open with one of the cases that we’re going to see. A bride faints at her wedding and is rushed to the hospital.
I have to admit that at first thought, I was like this woman doesn’t want to get married. She’s obviously under too much pressure and can’t deal with that.
Yes, I didn’t think something was wrong. I thought she needed someone to get her out of getting married. Especially after the groom tells Dr. Heller that it’s taken a lot of years and a lot of proposals to get her to this point. The point where she actually said yes.
She’s been nervous and has been taking Xanax – which the groom does take personally. Where Xanax would knock me out, for her it raises her blood pressure. Heller lets them know she has a growth on a gland that needs to be removed.
She has everyone come to the hospital and marries him in her hospital gown. It makes for a good story. And hey, her taking the initiative to get married before her surgery is romantic.
She came through the surgery fine and I clapped. I thought it was great and I laughed when the husband was basically jumping for joy. I only laughed cause he’s been through a lot of emotions that day and I laugh when I get uncomfortable.
SHADOWING YOU
Amy shadowing Dr. Maitra – we all knew that it was going to happen, but I didn’t want it to. Dr. Maitra hates Amy and all I could think of was that she was definitely hoping to get Amy fired.
The two have a case of brothers – one that needs stem cells to survive and one that needs to go through the pain of having them harvested from his body. Leo, the brother who needs the stem cells, is having a hard time seeing what this is doing to his brother. He’s a kid and he’s becoming a “freak” because he’s always sick and always in the hospital. Seeing his brother in pain is too much.
Dr. Maitra is honest with Leo and really listens. She tells him the truth. She tells him that he can stop all of it and he doesn’t have to get the treatment.
Having a doctor who listens is important. I don’t like Dr. Maitra most of the time – this is the moment where I saw her as redeemable. I saw that she’s a different doctor and she cares.
She does what she needs to do. Though others may not agree with her – she did what was best for her patient. Leo should have kept that to himself but instead blurted it out to his parents.
Who then take issue with the hospital. The parents need to be reminded that Leo is old enough to make his own choices. The parents may not be able to control Leo, but the other brother can still go through the testing.
Dr. Maitra was out of line but didn’t feel out of line. It’s very complicated.
ALL EYES ON HER
Have to admit that I ship Dr. Heller and Amy – a lot. At first, I wasn’t sure that I did. I know, I know – sleeping with your boss isn’t something that you should do. It’s television though and I love these two – so I am not going to comment on that.
Dr. Heller is having a hard time and I get it. He really loves Amy and seeing her every day and knowing that she’s forgotten him – that’s gotta break him.
Every time he looks at her, you can tell her loves her. He has that look that he just wants to hold her in his arms and take in feeling her next to him. He just needs to stop telling people that he and Amy were involved.
Dr. Walker tells him to not say anything because so many eyes are on Amy. Also, there is the fact that Amy has a million eyes on her. She tells Dr. Heller that there is also the fact that Amy is still in love with her ex-husband.
I want Amy to know that she was and is loved. Do I understand a medical drama and that it takes time for these things to come out? Absolutely. I just think that there has to be a point where Amy understands that she wasn’t all out horrible. She needs to know that someone saw past her pain.
There comes a point in Doc Season 1, Episode 5 where you can tell that Heller is about to tell her, but she starts talking about unrequited love from her boss (who would be her ex-husband).
Talk about heartbreak.
BREAKING THE RULES
A DNR is something that should be taken very seriously. Amy breaking a DNR is something that should be taken very seriously.
Leo doesn’t want his little brother to suffer anymore, but he also doesn’t want to suffer. He feels overwhelmed and angry at himself and his parents to see his little brother’s life torn apart to save him. I can understand his anger at his parents for their choice to keep using his little brother as a stem cell factory. I just don’t understand how signing a DNR as retaliation is smart.
When Amy is trying to talk to Leo so that he will get his treatment, he doesn’t want to hear it. Amy is pushing the situation because she is dealing with the grief of Danny’s death and she doesn’t want anyone else to deal with that. Leo doesn’t want to hear it.
He is tired.
So when a code blue needs to be called on Leo, Amy instantly goes into doctor mode and begins compressions. She’s not going to let him go, even after the nurse tells her that he has a DNR.
I have to wonder if the old Amy would have done that. I am not sure. But I do believe that the Amy that we’re seeing now is a gift. It’s a gift that she’s gotten this second chance to believe in herself and not shut herself off completely.
I was a little worried about what would happen to Amy – but because the family and Leo aren’t going to pursue anything against Amy, she isn’t fired. She is put on notice that if she screws up or crosses protocols one more time – she will be gone.
SORRY IS THE HARDEST WORD
Dr. Maitra is someone that I did not like in the first four episodes. I have made that clear. It’s crazy how the way that anyone looks at a character can be changed. Doc Season 1, Episode 5 changed her for me and then also made me mad at her because she’s an underhanded backstabbing… let’s just say she’s not a girls girl.
I know that Amy hurt her by saying that she shouldn’t be a doctor way back. I also do understand that even if someone can’t remember what they did. Forgiveness takes time.
Dr. Heller had told Amy what she said to Dr. Maitra. I adore him – he’s going through his heartbreak over Amy not remembering anything about them and he’s determined to still be there for her and make sure she isn’t at a loss.
She apologized to Dr. Maitra and she defended her as the only person who listened to Leo and genuinely was a good doctor.
Perspective can change everything. For Amy, hers has changed and it has made her want to not be the person that everyone tells her that she was. Yes, she’s searching for the pieces, but sometimes the pieces shouldn’t be found.
When Amy walks away – Dr. Miller walks up and tells Dr. Maitra that if Amy messes up or crosses the line again to tell him. Tell him, because she will be gone.
There is no loyalty here – see you, Dr. Maitra.
GOOD LUCK DOC
Dr. Walker knows all. She’s honestly so perceptive and so smart and well, I love her. She’s never afraid to call it like she sees it. What does she see? Well, that would be Michael and what he’s up to.
She tells him what we all know – he has a wife that he loves and a baby on the way. He needs to tell Amy. She tells him that she knows that he’s still in love with Amy and that Amy is looking at him with all the love in her eyes, which she knows he wants.
Definitely feel bad for Michael in this instance, because he’s torn. Loving two women is hard. But harder for him is get the things that he once wanted and not be able to respond the way he always wanted to.
Michael needs to set some boundaries for himself because the road he is on is going to hurt not only him but others. He isn’t the man that can handle that. He’s been broken and putting the pieces of his life back together hasn’t been easy for him.
I was shocked that he ended up at Amy’s door to tell her that his wife was 6 months pregnant. No part of me didn’t feel bad for him, because having to relive the same thing over and over again, isn’t fair. It’s not easy. It’s a lot for him.
But it is also a lot for Amy. I am not sure which one of them I feel worse for. And then – shouldn’t I feel the worst for the baby, who should be celebrated, and “good luck” should never be the answer for a baby?
I am not sure. Just know that I feel a lot of emotions.
D*** you Doc!
OTHER THOUGHTS
- The flashbacks almost kill me inside – they are so heartbreaking
- Seeing how Michael was heartbroken over Danny and how he slept in his room when he found out his wife was pregnant – that messed me up
- Love that Amy and Katie are gonna spend time together
- Want Heller to tell Amy that they were together
- I really do love Amy and Michael, but I don’t know – there is something there that makes me not want them together because I don’t want him to hurt again
- Yet that being said I really love this show dynamic that could be a love triangle
- When Heller comes up with a reason that he knew Amy’s coffee order – I loved that but was also like well, I am slow cause I didn’t think of the kiss-ass angle.
