Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9 Review: ‘Barking Bad’

Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9 features a case that, if we were to try to explain it to someone who doesn’t watch this series, would sound like a mess. But, somehow, “random woman in casket with dead man, put there by funeral home owners’ son who has a gambling problem, a dog show, an affair, human-grade dog food, and something to do with organized crime…” makes sense in the moment. Perhaps it’s because of good planning and writing that connects all of those dots, bizarre as they may seem. Or maybe it’s just that we enjoy being along for the ride far too much for us to care how we’re getting from Point A to Point B. Most likely, it’s a combination of both.

Besides, why would anyone feel the need to explain anything about this show to anyone who doesn’t have the good sense to just watch Vanessa Morgan and Giacomo Gianniotti do their thing? ‘Barking Bad” gives both actors plenty to do in terms of drawing us even further in to the slow burn that is ElliMax. And, really, even if the series’ latest murder investigation was a major, epic fail, seeing those characters have their second sleepover this season (!!!) — this time for purely personal reasons, as opposed to a “one bed” fic situation that comes about because of the case like last time — would be enough for us to be like “10/10 episode, no notes.” Luckily, though, it’s not a fail. Our only complaint, really, is that the hour, much like Marc’s time bonding with Uncle Ricky, is over far too quickly.

MORE: Read our Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 6 review to relive the last time ElliMax spent the night together.

“Your attachment”

When Detective Ellis shows up at Max’s condo, unannounced, in Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9, Max and Ricky are in the middle of a conversation about their plans for a big payday. None of those plans seem to include sticking around and continuing to consult with the police. She’s “really going to miss this condo,” at least partially because she’s been enjoying the stability of it all. Of staying in the same place “for longer than a week. Waking up in the same bed, seeing the same sunrise.” As she admits in the moment, she might have gotten too attached…and that’s when Ricky spots Cole on the doorbell camera and calls him Max’s “attachment.”

Which, to be clear: Ricky’s right. Max is, in fact, attached to this man. Arguably, all of her talk of missing the condo when (if) they leave and describing the place as a home (but without using those words), is less about her not wanting to leave the condo than it is about her not wanting to leave the little life she’s built here. With Cole Ellis, specifically, but with friends like Li, and Yates, and even Simmons, too. Which makes the very last scene of the episode all the more interesting — potentially worrisome, in fact. When President Bartlet Jonathan Ashford says the most important rule is “don’t get attached to people. They’ll only betray you; they’ll slow you down or cloud your judgement…you must be willing to walk away from anyone at the drop of a hat. If you cannot, that’s your warning sign to cut them loose.”

But here’s the thing: Max already blew past that warning sign about a zillion closed cases ago. After that initial betrayal, she came back with information about Cole’s brother’s murder. Not only that, but she’s the one who suggested ElliMax build something new. Then, we have the kiss in Episode 6, choosing Ellis (and Marc!) over Maddy and Lola the dog in Episode 5, and so many other examples. She is. Attached. If we didn’t already know that, perhaps Max’s choice to close her laptop as Ashford’s sharing his wisdom would reassure us. Probably. Maybe. If nothing else, Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9 definitely warns us that Max still has some choices she needs to make. The thing is, she always chooses Ellis. Maybe that decision takes a bit longer some times than others, but she always winds up making her way back to him.

Besides, if Uncle Ricky’s this upset about Marc just going back to the boat, how would he handle completely skipping town and leaving his kitty nephew behind? Not well, folks…not well, not well at all. So, seems like he’s failed the “don’t get attached” assignment, too. Which means we win.

MORE: In other “she’s already in too deep” news, Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 8 proved Max is part of the team.

“You’re coming home with me”

Now, back to the ElliMax sleepover itself. Ellis initially just asks Max if Marc can crash at her place, but when it turns out the boat’s going to be out of the water longer than expected, Max is emphatic about having Ellis spend the night. As many nights as it takes. (Allegedly not in that way. But come on.) She is very “hull! No!” about her partner having to stay at a hotel — or, worse, the station — with their feline overlord/son. For his part, Ellis…does not take much convincing. And if you catch that look after the “you’re coming home with me” line, please feel free to scream along with us every time we think about it. [Insert tons of screaming about ElliMax here.]

So, back home at the condo, it’s time for a family dinner with ElliMax, Marc, and Uncle Ricky. But, uh, to state the obvious: Max and Ellis don’t even realize anyone else is there. No, really. All we see at first is a candlelit dinner, some wine, and these two making heart eyes at each other…until Uncle Ricky clears his throat for attention so he can get his wine glass refilled. Even if we’re very much here for all the ElliMax in Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9, he decides to leave the room, thus turning family dinner into what can only be described as a date. Sure, it gets cut off early and all, but look at them.

Max says her boy can crash here “anytime.” (We’re very “sure, Max” to how she starts to cover it up with some excuse about the boat having future problems). More importantly, she checks in with him about his brother’s case. Because she cares, and she knows a quiet moment like this is the best time to ask without pushing. Notably, Ellis is more open than ever when he admits to hating “all this sitting around, waiting for other people” and being essentially powerless. And just as he asks Max if she’s thinking of staying (let’s be real: she is staying with him — look at that want all over her face when he asks the question), they get interrupted by the coroner’s phone call.

Normally, this would be an “OMG WHYYYY C**KBLOCK” sort of moment, but Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9 treats us to all the pointed questions about why they’re still together so late. Then, Ricky and Marc come down to make sure these two crazy kids aren’t getting up to any adult activities (rude), and…neither one of them can sleep once they’re apart. Really, one of the best parts of this episode is that split screen. What an image, Ellis and Max both tossing and turning before, ultimately, turning in the direction that would make them face-to-face if they were in the same bed. Of course, Ricky getting to snuggle up with Marc and sleep very peacefully says a lot, too…When you give in and admit you’re attached, you rest much easier.

Did we mention he made her his mom’s pancake recipe for breakfast??? Because he made her his mom’s pancake recipe for breakfast. Talk about domestic bliss. And those arms!!!

Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9 doesn’t do “OMG ONE BED?!” like that earlier episode did, and it doesn’t see ElliMax under the influence when they get closer either. No, this is better. Because they’re at home. Just them, together. And it works. It works so beautifully well. They work so beautifully well. The chemistry has always been there, and we can say the same for the ability to literally work together. But the rhythm they have, the ability to do the job and still go home together at night without getting sick of each other — these are all very good signs for the future. Ellis just fits into Max’s space so easily and naturally, so it’s clear this will work out. Whenever they decide to give them a chance.

Also of note: Max is so clearly disappointed when it’s time for Ellis to go back to the boat. Same goes for Marc — meow, he said. Me. Ow. — and Ellis. They can’t even get the boat up and running on the first try. Because it’s not home without the rest of their little family. And that’s that on that.

MORE: Yes, we’re still thinking about Max’s fortune cookie from the end of Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 4. Thanks for asking.

More on Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9

• Do you see ‘Barking Bad’ as the title and think “yes, barking bad because Marc the cat should not have to listen to dogs”? Or are you normal.
• “…don’t forget to open your eyes and ears. The world is trying to tell you something. You just have to listen.” Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9 is trying to tell us ElliMax make good marrieds.
• “O-M-G the famous Marc. It is a pleasure to meet you.” This is the proper way to greet your local feline overlord.
• …but can we talk again about how dude just shows up with his cool, little backpack-style carrier all, “hi. Please take our son my cat the cat who owns me for the day while the boat’s getting worked on.” Of all the people he could take Marc to, he chooses Max. Ellis takes Marc, the most important person in his life, to stay with Max, the other most important person in his life. And he knows he doesn’t even really have to ask.
• Salmon soufflé!
• “Spoiler alert: I bet we find a dead body in there.” Amazing.
• She’s talking to her future husband about her end of life plans. Hugh Jackman, huh? It’s clear Max Mitchell has a. type.
• I…did not need to hear about the whole vocal chords thing with the talking dead.
• “In this line of work, real life can be a little much sometimes. You need an escape.” Her face.
• “Let me guess: Customers just…dying to get in?” “Oh. So it’s been DEAD around here?” Never change, Wild Cards. Please never, ever, ever change.
• …or. Well. Change one thing…
• (You know which thing.)
• “Love makes you do crazy things.” Or, as the great philosopher Buffy Anne Summers once put it, “love makes you do the wacky.”
• Check out this gentleman helping that widow up with his big, strong arms, yet doing it all soft-like.
• Wait. They’re the Gundersons? Any relation to former [Insert Suits Firm Name Here] associate Harold Gunderson?
• “Messing up is like when Ross said Rachel’s name at the altar. This is murder.” First of all, yassss “I take thee, Rachel!” Second, the way Vanessa Morgan delivers the “this is murder” part is so much fun.
• “Is there anything I can do to…hull-p?” “Hull-arious.”
• Look at Marc in his little chair!!!!
• Ok but lavender is toxic to cats. Bad Uncle Ricky.
• Why are they gazing at each other like that while Ellis is telling Ricky it’s his funeral, though??? (Don’t stop.)
• Mood music!!!
• “He’s getting his boat worked on.” “I do not want to know what that means.” Dead.
• Ok but look how he stops himself on the “doesn’t mean anything” bit. Because it does.
• They do not need to behave! Bad Uncle Ricky.
• So, let’s talk about how there is no need for Max to get that close to Ellis as she gets ready to go up to bed. Additionally, there’s no reason for them to gaze like that there for a second. Except, well. Really, there are allllll the reasons for both of those things to happen.
• Just kiss (again)!
• ARMS.
• “I could get used to this.” Uh, I bet.
• “It upsets Marc.” As it should!
• She’s tickled pink. While she’s wearing a lot of pink. Amazing.
• I wanted more of gossiping dog show guy.
• Also could not stop laughing at Yates telling Simmons how bad he smelled and refusing to help him out in that dumpster.
• Lola’s not actually her dog, but Max is Marc’s human.
• “Better safe than stinky.” Points have been made.
• “Looks like puppy love to me.” Then, they look at each other like that.
• “And you don’t want to know any more details than that.” “Uh, yes, I do.” Max’s wink. “Later.” “Drinks on me.” This friendship might be one of the best surprises Wild Cards Season 2 has given me????
• Besides the kiss and the two sleepovers, of course.
• “What does organized crime have to do with a dog show?” Ok but hear me out: Someone figure out a way to get Elliot Stabler on here to answer this. While he’s here, maybe he can see how two partners in love are supposed to, like, actually interact.
• “Who’s the top dog now?”
• Love his little grin when he sees the backup coming through that door.
• “Too depressed to eat. Marc is gone. How can you even think of food?” “Because I’m hungry.” “You’re on your own. Just..ignore any sobbing you may hear.” Ok but they are both way too real for this.
• “Meow.” “Don’t judge me.” On the other hand, that is his job.
• In conclusion, more ElliMax shacking up. Please and thank you.

So, what did you think of Wild Cards Season 2 Episode 9 ‘Barking Bad’? Leave us a comment!

Wild Cards airs Wednesday at 8/7c on The CW.