Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3 Review: ‘Paranza Dei Bambini’

Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3 ‘Paranza Dei Bambini’ deals with the fallout of this season’s first case, takes a peek into an allegedly not-too-distant past when Detective Stabler had something resembling hair was in Italy, and sets up the next Big Bad. (Which is also connected to the Big Bad in Italy — no, not the hairline — and…wipes out a Season 4 Big Bad pretty quickly.) It all feels, somehow…unsettling. Maybe that’s because any time the issue of Elliot’s years away come up, and especially whenever we revisit the past without actually filling Elliot in on all the things he missed, the old “OMG can’t believe he ghosted us” outrage crops back up and forces us to watch everything through a negative lens. Or, perhaps, moving on from the previous case without catching all those weird masked dudes at the northern border doesn’t make sense.

Add losing a core part of the team, who’s been here since the very beginning, to all of the above, and you have a recipe for what should be disaster. Instead, thanks to the kinds of performances we’ve come to expect out of this cast and the ever-present commitment to taking time for at least some personal stories, it’s merely a recipe for discomfort.

MORE: Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 got off to a strong start. We still can’t believe how good Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 2 was.

“Baby Stabler”

Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3 sees Elliot trying to parent a grown son who doesn’t want it, probably even thinks he doesn’t need it. This happens while the people around Elliot try to look out for him…when he doesn’t want it and thinks he doesn’t need it. If that doesn’t drive home how similar Elliot Stabler The (Very) Elder and Elliot Stabler Junior are, well, we already have plenty of other examples. See also: The whole cop thing, plus the whole surprise pregnancy thing. And um…yeah. Turns out “just what the world needs: another Elliot Stabler” rings truer than ever.

Elliot 1 and Elliot 2 even have a cute little bonding moment over coffee (Zaddy looks sharp indeed). However, the easy way they move around each other doesn’t last, and the mood deteriorates pretty quickly. Everything’s just fine and casual until Eli makes the mistake of reminding his dad about his followup MRI. From there, the tension sets in pretty much immediately, with Eli getting defensive (Uncle Randall told him to remind his dad, ok?) and Elliot being irritated. To say the least. The little bit of attitude Eli gives back after his dad’s “course he did” reminds us that he really, really is still practically just a kid. But also: The way he holds that tension and has that particular type of attitude in the first place screams “he is his father’s son.”

There’s something interesting at play here. Initially, when Elliot raises his concerns about Eli doing gang injunctions, it’s like “is he hitting back after the MRI reminder?” But to watch the rest of the episode and see how he makes a comment to the boy’s FTO gives another explanation: Elliot The Elder is just a concerned papa…with less than zero ability to take a step back and think about how he would feel in a similar situation. Or, a much more charitable way to interpret his behavior here is that, between Bernie’s heartbreaking confession to him in Episode 2 and him now actually being more in her position, he gets it and wants better for his youngest — regardless of the consequences.

But, no matter how we decide to interpret all the father/son stuff, know this: The man really has zero self-awareness: See also, his “proper goodbye” comment to Eli. Olivia Benson (and her many fans) would like several words.

For Eli’s part, he really is trying to prove himself, so it’s difficult to watch Elliot — however well-meaning — keep making him look and feel smaller than he actually is. Nicky Torchia does a great job here of playing that frustration at just the right level to let us know this happens far too often. And it’s relatable. Anyone who’s come home from college for the summer or (worse) had to live with family immediately after finishing school knows that feeling. It’s annoying AF, actually, to still be seen as a kid in some people’s eyes forever, even when your actual life experiences…are not those of a kid anymore and haven’t been for a while. Meanwhile, Torchia also keeps Eli’s level of “would like to strangle Dad” low enough to show Elliot 1 and Elliot 2 have a much, much better relationship than in the past.

Still kinda messed up? Sure. (What family isn’t?) But better than before.

As far as the actual “Baby Stabler” doll he brings home goes….WELL. First of all, poor Eli. But second: Randall very much giving “I should say something but I’m not” face throughout the whole argument is a highlight of Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3. Then, when he totally cracks up after Eli leaves, and El makes that “let me hold in the laugh so hard, it is the most awkward thing ever” face, it gets even better. The situation between Elliot and Eli is serious. But also…the comedic relief is so utterly and completely flawless. (Insert obligatory “Dean Norris is a gift” gushing here.)

Also: For what it’s worth, Randall’s right. Baby Stabler does kind of have Senior’s head. And that applies to both the doll having a similarly shiny bald head and Eli being way, way too much like his dad.

MORE: If you want Stabler family drama, look no further than Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 4 Episode 4. (That episode also had “Uncle” Carlo Pescador, Bryanna, and Kiki…who all die suddenly in Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3.)

“Maybe you should think about minding your own business”

Of course, Randall reacts the way he does to his brother and nephew’s argument not just because spats like that can be funny from the outside, but because Eli tells his dad almost exactly the same thing Elliot told Randall earlier in the episode. When Randall shows up at Elliot’s job to take him to his MRI appointment, first of all, Norris and Christopher Meloni are the perfect comedy duo. Randall with the “but whyyy?????” like a bratty child when Elliot’s being all grumpy-grump? Golden. But there’s also this undercurrent of Elliot (still) being the worst kind of patient, having no patience, and just being awful about accepting help. Randall cares about him; he’s trying to be a good big brother. And Elliot, much like some of us (hi), can not stand being smothered by everyone around him, all the time. Eli, Randall, Ayanna: No, no, no.

There’s also the issue of Elliot not wanting family and work mixing. It’s long past too late for that, between what happened to that woman he used to be married to, the Joey situation, Baby!Stabler becoming a cop, and a certain brunette having known his mama for many a year. But that’s…part of what fuels the tantrum, for lack of a better word, here. Everything that he tried to keep separate for so long, to the point of the dead wife being awful to him about him not talking to her about it all (God forbid), has come crashing together — completely against his will. So, time to dig those heels in and be a jerk about it when folks who care just want to look out for him.

Meloni’s always been great with Elliot’s, uh, temper. That extremely short “great. I’m glad. I’m fine” delivery, plus the just annoyed way he turns and looks out the window when Randall starts reminding El about the TBI is no different. And, when it comes time for Randall to stop being hilarious and start actually giving back as good as he gets, Norris more than gets the job done. Then, there’s the subject change. Elliot doesn’t want to keep talking about himself, so he asks how Mama Bernie’s doing. (Because, you know, that’s not a loaded topic!) When Randall suggests checking her phone to see why she’s so convinced Joey’s calling her, Elliot goes right back to being upset. That’s where the line about “minding your own business” initially shows up. (It’s also where Randall gives Elliot a pretty exasperated look.)

As far as the “fantasy world” theory goes, joke’s on both of the elder Stabler brothers. By the end of Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3, we learn that it’s possible Bernie knows what she’s talking about after all. Either Joey’s been calling her from that restricted number or…eh. We don’t want to think about the alternatives. So, yeah. But…now what?

MORE: The last time we saw Joey, things did…not look good for him. Here’s what happened when Elliot and Randall tried to help him in Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 4’s penultimate episode.

What Happened When Elliot Stabler Was in Italy?

Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3 gives us a little bit of insight into at least one of Detective Stabler’s cases while he was away. While some of us would be happy to never hear about that time period ever again — unless there are some good explanations for that, plus the years between him leaving and him working with the NYPD overseas — the flashback scenes still have their value. Could there be fewer of them, or could they at least be shorter to make some time for fleshing out the end of Jet’s arc more? Absolutely. We could start, for example, with cutting the FaceTime.

…but let’s get back to the point of the flashbacks not being completely worthless. In the first place, there’s the direct connection to what happens in the present timeline. The people wiping out the likes of Los Santos are the very “cancer” we heard about from Isabella Spezzano as Stabler pressed her to make a deal six years ago. We also learn how difficult it was for Isabella to flip and how, as we could probably predict ahead of time, Elliot was able to bond with her over the concept of family. Family, grandkids specifically, which Isabella risked herself to try to keep from getting swallowed up into the group. (And to get a horse farm. BAMF move from her.)

Could we have probably learned a lot of that in the present-day scenes only? Yes. The obvious closeness Elliot has with Isabella’s grandson Pietro tells us plenty in a much, much shorter and, arguably, more effective timeframe. The work Meloni does every step of the investigation, as he not only realizes the Camorra is here but that Roman’s brewery is likely involved in all of it — meaning Isabella came to America, hoping to escape them…only to fail — also gives us a very clear picture. But…Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio does such fine work in those scenes, it’s hard to write them off. She’s fantastic as a woman who is so tough initially, yet softens in measures as Elliot works to crack her.

So, maybe we’ll just wait and see how the whole arc unfolds before making a firm decision on what was necessary to it and what could’ve used a trim. Or maybe it’s just that Jet needed more time…

MORE: No, we weren’t happy last time Italy came up.

Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3 Character Exit

In Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3, the series gives Jet a sendoff that’s both fitting…and really, really not. Somehow, the explanation for her leaving includes her obsessively working at home to build a database of victims (close to 150!) of our highway serial killer. So, ok. She needed a mental break and, instead of really taking a break, she just…spiraled. Ok. Sure. Makes perfect sense, honestly.

But then, there’s…the rest of the conversation with Bell. To be clear: Ainsley Seiger and Danielle Moné Truitt are as good as ever here, but the whole FBI job offer feels very out of left field — particularly after the agent we met in the premiere was, uh, not a fave. Then, Bell’s “he asked you for a favor, and you gave us four years” comment takes us to something that kinda rings a little bit too true/familiar…just maybe not necessarily for Jet. Sometimes, people really do wind up in the wrong place for a very long time after planning to be there only temporarily. Once you’re there, you can easily get stuck. Can confirm. But…for most of Jet’s four years on the task force, the character seemed like she was growing and coming out of her shell, thriving even — and most definitely always, always part of the family.

So, mixing “hey, I got another offer” with the mental break after she was attacked in Episode 2, with the commentary on how she was just supposed to be helping Baldy out…makes things cloudy in a way that does Jet and viewers a disservice. Both characters get done a little dirty here, actually. Because, really, why is Bell having to say a bunch of stuff like this? And why does Jet come across like all of that growth actually did the opposite for her? We can talk about doing the work and going into the field not being a good fit for someone who does her best stuff with a computer, sure. But has that really always been the case? (No, it has not. She has been so tough, on so many occasions…and is just so small here.)

Kind of “off” or not, we’re glad Truitt and Seiger got that one last scene. The same goes for Meloni and Seiger, whose characters always had that adorable “adopted daughter mocks old man for being old…but in a totally not-ageist way” schtick. Closing out Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3 with Jet and Stabler’s bittersweet little goodbye, him half-heartedly cracking a joke about her leaving him with Vargas and hugging her when she says she hates goodbyes, works about as well as anything could, given the circumstances. But man, this is just…as a fan, and as someone who really loved that “found family” aspect that really got solidified in Season 3 (and then crushed at the end of that season), this…there’s no other way to put it than to say it kinda sucks. Parts are done well, but. Ugh. Why.

Speaking of things that make us go “ugh. Why” while we’re at it: Really? Nothing for Seiger and Rick Gonzalez to say goodbye? After the god-tier “vapid married couple” Jet and Bobby did together undercover???? Mess. Speaking of a mess: Elliot Stabler, claiming he doesn’t like an Irish goodbye? HE GHOSTED US FOR 10 YEARS. Boy, bye.

MORE: Here’s why Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 3 Episode 13 was one of the all-time best Jet episodes.

More on Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3

• “Wasn’t that, like, six months ago?” “Nine.” A timeline?! In this economy???? Does the timeline work? No idea. But who cares, when other shows don’t even bother to try at this point?
• But why is Elliot leaning like that? Still not at 100% after your accident, Old Man? Maybe sit this one out, for once. No? Ok. Carry on!
• Gonna need gifs of Eli’s little gesture after his dad’s “course he did.”
• “Dad. I don’t need relationship advice, too.” Literally. If Elliot Stabler was good with relationships, Eli wouldn’t even exist.
• Once again, Law & Order: Organized Crime has a better idea what to do with an SVU character than SVU does. Good to see Peter Scanavino here, playing an ADA who does actual ADA things…
• Love the shot of the sunlight coming in through the tiny window in Carlo’s cell and the way they made that space feel as claustrophobic as possible while Elliot visited him. And the reaction off Meloni after the “full-blown war on your hands” comment. Oof.
• …but RIP to him, I guess?
• Elliot shooting what’s basically a kid, during an episode that tells us a smidgeon about his time away, which only happened after he killed a kid…seems like it needed literally any kind of fallout. “You know the drill,” grabby hands, and Bell looking more disturbed than Stabler…no.
• The fake hair makes the flashbacks just…unintentionally hilarious. It’s Stabler’s old man face with a hairline and hair color we know he hasn’t had in a minute. Amazing.
• “Please stop. Your Italian offends me.”
• “We were taught to always be the smartest person in the room.” “It’s a shame it’s wasted.”
• Is this…penance for getting all that great EO in Episode 2?
• “He became his father. I did nothing to stop it.” *stares in both Elliot Stablers*
• A Warner mention!
• The physical acting from Meloni as Stabler slows down on Bell’s “not right now,” then just stops and turns around when she tells him Randall called her. And when Elliot hears Randall is there??? The man. Looks. Stuck…and mad about it.
• “Look: I don’t want ya in my work stuff. I don’t want you telling my boss what’s going on with me.” “Why?” “There’s no why. Just don’t do it. I don’t want people knowing about my personal sh—.” “But why?” Going to put on some clown makeup and say he doesn’t want Big Brother and Bestie gossiping about the coleslaw lady.
• “…which means that big, fat meat head of yours has been traumatized.” “The only thing traumatizing my head is you. Ok?” CAN’T STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM.
• “And what about your boy? Eli?” “He’s a cop.” “Ahhhh. Like his father.” Refer back to the flashback line about her son becoming like his father now. Hits hard.
• HORSIES.
• Zaddy playing soccer with the kid!
• Sure. Show us some more folk getting shot up. We get it.
• The way Eli’s FTO just gives Stabler that forced, emotionless smile — and nothing else — when he questions Eli being on gang injunctions straight out of the Academy. Exactly. Keep your nose out of it, Detective.
• Ahhh, here’s the fallout. The nervous fidgeting and rubbing his hand all over his face when he sees Jason Conti’s yearbook photo and has the “my God, he’s a child” realization.
• “We broke up a few weeks ago; we haven’t talked. The trucker serial case really messed her up.” “She talking to anybody?” “I don’t know, and I’m worried.” “Me too.” So, off-screen breakup after that mess, folks are “worried” about her not talking to anyone after the trucker case…and still the reason for leaving is a job offer that’s a better fit. K.
• The…off the roof? Why.
• That broken, little “hey” when Bell gets there.
• “Miiiind your own business…kinda got your head.” DEAD.
• I respect Bernie’s candy stash so much.
• “I have a job. And I’m not a quitter.” Relatable.
• “She’s on her own journey” when Elliot asks about length of Jet’s leave…and nothing to Reyes. But then, they’re going to have a drink later, but we never see that part…ok.
• “I don’t know about y’all, but I could definitely use one.” Pour me out some Bear Fight.
• “I hate goodbyes.” “Yeahhh. I don’t care. Come here.” Crying.
• Her little laugh about the Vargas thing. “Why would you do that to me?” “You’ll live..”
• “I’m uh….” And his little smile. “I’m gonna miss you. Gonna miss…[gestures wildly]…this.” And her little grin she covers up???
• This is. SAD. They’re so good together!
• Like, if he’d just said “anymore” at the end of that “Irish goodbyes” line, though…because, otherwise, I know this bald b—ch is lying. BFFR, man.
• But instead of the rest of the team’s goodbyes, we get…another attack on the family.
• …ugh. Fine. That’s a good cliffhanger or whatever and a good way to set up whatever comes next. But, again: Cut out the call with the “sage” wisdom about Italians and food, then? Less with Carlo Pescador, as well as it was done, if he’s gonna be dead immediately and therefore not bring his “war” anyway? I dunno. Something different.
• Just…sad, thinking about losing Jet and Seiger, though. UGH. WHY.

Agree? Disagree? What did you think of Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 Episode 3? Leave us a comment!

New episodes of Law & Order: Organized Crime stream Thursdays on Peacock.