For someone coming into this with book knowledge, like I am, Heated Rivalry Episode 5 always felt like it would be the one. You know, the one that would break us. The one that would cement the show as good or great. Not just that, the one that would secure a second season. Ironically, all those things happened before Episode 5 came around; that’s how good Heated Rivalry has been. And yet, none of that takes away from how fantastic the episode actually was.
Heated Rivalry Episode 5 might be my favorite episode of TV of the year, and I’ve watched a lot of TV. I’ve probably watched more TV than you and the person sitting next to you combined. I’ve watched way too much TV. I do it for a living. This is my favorite thing I’ve watched all year, and though a lot of that is personal preference, I will also add that I think it has to be in the running for one of the best episodes of TV this year.
It’s a complete hour, with Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie delivering on every respect, as Shane and Ilya separately, and as two halves of this messy, complicated, and yet immensely loving relationship that they so desperately want to define but cannot. But they’re not the only parts of the episode that work. Everything from the camera work, to the lighting, to the cinematography—in their scenes and Scott and Kip’s big moment—makes this hour as emotional as I expected it to be, and perhaps more.
Every once in a while, TV delivers the kind of episode you just want to rewatch over and over again. Heated Rivalry still has to close this story off in Episode 6, and we’re sure we’re going to love that. But it’s hard to believe anything will top the highs of this hour.
MORE: Did you miss our review of Episode 4 “Rose”? Check it out here!
A PROBLEM IS SOMETHING YOU CAN FIX

We start with Rose, and a conversation that is perfect in every respect. There’s no maliciousness to Shane’s decision to try with Rose. He might suspect some things about himself, and he might know some things about his feelings for Ilya, but he’s really trying with Rose. No, he genuinely likes her. He thinks that can turn into something else, and for a moment, he wants it to. It’s easier. Safer. But it is not to be.
Sophie Nélisse is very good as a Rose who understands and chooses to be a safe place for Shane instead of someone else who expects him to be something he can’t ever really be. In many ways, her response helps condition what we get from Shane with Ilya later. Because Rose seeing through him, understanding him, and accepting him is big for Shane. She is, after all, the first person he’s been truly open about who he is with. And not only is she not judging him, but she’s supportive.
From then on, the world sort of opens up for him. Of course, her response doesn’t mean everyone will react well. It doesn’t mean he can come out. But it does mean that she’s letting him off the hook for their relationship and for the lie he was telling the world about what he really wanted. And once she does that, what else can Shane do but stop lying to himself and confront what he really wants… Ilya. After that, all he has to do is find a way to tell him.
MORE: Heated Rivalry proves Queer stories sell. And more are coming.
IT’S NOT JUST ME, RIGHT?

The thing about the hotel scene in Tampa is that both Williams and Storrie play it perfectly. Because Shane knows the answer when he asks Ilya if it’s just him. Or at least, he suspects it. But this is their dynamic. When one of them takes one step forward, the other takes a step back. This time, however, a Shane that understands himself better just keeps pushing forward.
Because it’s not just him. Ilya was the one who initiated the change in their relationship, which doesn’t mean he’s any better than Shane at articulating what he wants. Or having it. It doesn’t mean he’s not scared. But it does mean that, deep down, he understands it the same way Shane does. It’s just that with that understanding comes the cold light of reality.
Shane might want them to be more. Ilya might want them to be more. But it’s easier for Ilya to be an asshole, and to pretend he doesn’t get what Shane is saying, that it doesn’t mean the same to him, or even that he doesn’t know why Shane saying he’s gay is big, than it is to admit that they can’t have what they want. Even if they both want it. And that’s more heartbreaking than not wanting it in the first place.
MORE: Check out our review of Heated Rivalry Episode 3!
BECAUSE RUSSIA

There’s so much Ilya wants that he can’t have. He wants his mother back. He wants a father who cares about him, and a brother who loves him for who he is, not what he can provide. And he wants a home that feels like home. He doesn’t have any of that, but that doesn’t mean Ilya can give up on his family, on Russia. And because of that… he can’t be with Shane. Because being out means never being able to go back to Russia.
Still, when Shane says, “I can’t keep pretending I don’t like you,” something breaks in Ilya. Because that’s exactly what he wanted to hear and what he was scared of hearing at the same time. He knows then that they’re both on the same page, that the feelings are getting too big to contain. He also understands, in that moment, perhaps more clearly than he has before, that even if he doesn’t believe he and Shane can be more… they have already become at least friends.
That’s why Ilya comes clean about his family. And just like Shane earlier in the episode finds a level of comfort at being able to be open about his identity with Rose, something shifts in Ilya after he opens up about his family with Shane. Because he’s been carrying this around for so long, and Shane just accepts it. No, he comforts Ilya. It doesn’t change a thing for him. It doesn’t change Ilya.
As I was watching this moment, a phrase from that scene in the book came to mind, “the force of everything they had almost said out loud.” Because in this scene, there’s obviously love. Even if they don’t… can’t say it (yet).
MORE: Our love letter to non-canon LGBTQ+ ships
I FEEL F**CKING EMPTY

When Ilya’s father dies, everything he’s been feeling sort of collapses upon itself. Because above all, Ilya feels guilt. Guilt that he wasn’t there to help, that he wasn’t a better son, that he couldn’t fix it… that he couldn’t fix his mom, that he wasn’t enough for them to live. But that’s just grief talking. There’s nothing Ilya could have done for either his mom or his dad. And there’s no way he can turn his family into the family he wanted to have, the one he deserves.
In fact, the decision he makes in this episode, to tell his brother that they’re done, to never contact him again, is the best decision for Ilya. Sure, Ilya loves his country, and he loves his family, but what have they ever done for him other than place unfair expectations on a kid? Walking away is self-care, and Svetlana is really the only one who understands that.
But Ilya doesn’t want Svetlana. He never has. He wants Shane. Wants to tell Shane about his father, about his mother, about the gaping hole in his chest that he can’t seem to fill, no matter what he does. He wants to tell Shane that he hasn’t felt good enough or worthy of something in years, and Shane makes him feel like he can take a deep breath again. Like he can close his eyes and he’ll be safe, because he’s with Shane. And yet, he can’t.
The Russia of it all feels less important after Ilya’s father dies, but that doesn’t mean all issues are fixed in Ilya’s mind—or Shane’s, for that matter. Because being together would still mean coming out. It would still require them to risk their hockey careers. And Ilya, well… he’s got nothing else at this point.
MORE: 9 LGBTQ+ sports books to read if you like Heated Rivalry
ALL I WANT IS YOU

But when Ilya is given the chance to say it, he’s very, very clear. He loves Shane. He’s so in love with Shane that he doesn’t know what to do with all the things he feels. It’s like they won’t fit his body. He wants to play with him, and he wants to go home with him. That’s not all. He wants quiet mornings and moonlight strolls. He wants to build a family together. Hell, if that moment during the All-Star Game proves anything, it is that Ilya wants kids, too. He wants everything, and all that he wants starts and ends with Shane.
In that moment, for Ilya, that is a tragedy. He’s on borrowed time, as it were. He knows he and Shane can’t last because now he cares too much. Shane cares too much. The only sensible thing to do is break it off and go their separate ways. Hell, Shane knows it too. But they’re both pretending there’s another way. Or, at least pretending they have time.
They don’t. With every moment they spend together, every text, the feelings get stronger, and the desire for more intensifies. Even during that moment in the tunnel, a moment Storrie absolutely kills—if anyone’s making top scenes of the year lists, make sure to add this—and does so in another language, to boot, the thing Ilya is more upset about isn’t that his father died or that his family sucks. It’s that through all of these things that are happening to him, all he wants is to have Shane there with him, and he can’t.
But isn’t that what love is? A shoulder to lean on when times are hard and someone who will hold your hand in celebration when things are good?
MORE: Check out our review of Heated Rivalry Episode 2!
HE’S GONNA WORRY

Shane’s injury is a good moment for the outside POV of their relationship. In fact, this episode gives us a nice glimpse at how the world is reacting to both Ilya and Shane and Scott and Kip, and basically, I would just like to say that as someone who has watched a lot of sports—and a fair amount of hockey—it tracks. Fandom would have been all over these men. Sports commentators, however? They wouldn’t be.
Because Shane and Ilya give us the joy of playing together, and Ilya’s absolutely insane cheek kiss on the ice after Shane scores, and then Ilya’s worry when Shane gets hurt, and it’s enough to paint a picture of two people who at least don’t hate each other. And hey, the broadcast gets halfway there by talking about the respect there is between the two rivals. But clearly, everyone is leagues away from seeing them for who they really are.
Shane, however, knows. When he gets hurt, he understands both what’s happening to him and what Ilya is going to think. And there’s only one of those things he feels like he can control: Ilya. So, he reacts by trying to make sure Ilya is told he’s okay.
In the book, Ilya’s reaction makes Shane say, “Ilya, they can see us.” I always felt that was a bit too obvious, the kind of thing that spawns third-person POV fics of the team doctor who figures it out and keeps a secret. The show cut it probably because, well… at this point, the sentiment it transmits is kind of obvious. Just as Shane and Ilya are. And people can indeed see.
MORE: Check out our review of Heated Rivalry Episode 1!
YOU SCARED ME

For Ilya, going to see Shane in the hospital is a risk. One he can sort of explain away, but a risk nonetheless. He goes anyway because he’s scared. He’s just come to terms with the fact that he loves Shane, and then there’s a moment where Ilya thinks he might lose him. But not just lose him, lose him in a way that means he won’t be able to mourn him. He won’t be able to call him his in public. Losing Shane at this point means that Ilya had nothing.
Plus, there’s the fact that Ilya just lost his father, too. And his father was not a good man nor a good parent, but he was still Ilya’s family. So, everything is a little raw for him. So he goes to the hospital, even if the excuse of an opposing Captain checking on his opponent after a bad hit feels a bit flimsy. And once there, he allows himself to tell Shane the truth. He was scared. In many ways, he still is.
But now there’s a different dimension to his fear. Before, Ilya feared never being able to truly be with Shane, even if they both wanted to be. He feared loneliness and an empty life, seeing Shane be happy from afar. Now he also fears something different. He fears feeling all the things he feels and not being able to celebrate Shane, or worry about him, because… they don’t do that. He fears not being able to love out loud. And that is, perhaps, the scariest fear of all because Ilya has never feared something he didn’t think he could have… until now.
MORE: Scott and Kip are an essential part of Heated Rivalry
BRAVERY

And then, Scott Hunter does what he does. And to be clear, I think narratively, for Shane and Ilya’s story, it works better like this. As a surprise. For Scott and Kip’s story, however, it kinda sucks. We’ve missed so many good moments in their relationship. We missed them coming back together. Because in the books, this isn’t their reconciliation. That came before.
My one hope is that, in Episode 6, perhaps we’ll get an expanded version of things we didn’t see in the book. Scott’s speech at the NLH Awards. Ilya going to a club with him and Kip afterwards, a gay club where they were celebrating Scott Hunter Night. Shane’s email to Scott. And perhaps, even more. Because this episode gets Shane and Ilya to a place where they can understand what they want. Scott is the first piece of the puzzle for the two of them starting to think that perhaps that is achievable. He is, shall we say, the game changer?
And the Scott we see calling Kip to come down, the one who kisses him in the middle of the ice after winning a Stanley Cup, that Scott is still afraid. Fear doesn’t just disappear. But he’s choosing love over fear. He’s living a moment he has only dreamed of and realizing that, even the highest highs mean nothing if you have no one to share them with. And Scott… he only wants Kip by his side.
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I’M COMING TO THE COTTAGE

The camera work captures how dizzying, how surreal the moment is from the outside. How Shane and Ilya’s life changes in an instant, and it’s all because of the actions of one man who isn’t doing this for them. A man who chose his own happiness. But isn’t that the way it often is? We fight for our own rights, and we end up helping others who come after us. That’s why the fight is important.
After the shock, there’s hope. Is this something Shane and Ilya could also have? Is this something they’re allowed to dream of? Their situation is infinitely more complicated than Scott’s, because the problem isn’t just that they’re queer, it’s that they’ve been sleeping with their “archrival” for the entirety of their careers. As a big sports fan, I know what the reaction would be in real life, no matter the sport. There would be a lot of happy people, yes. But there would be questions. About team loyalty, about how hard each of them was playing, about whether they were letting the other win. From fans and teammates.
But Scott opens a door that wasn’t really open before, one Shane and Ilya, with the added complications, didn’t feel like they could walk through alone. That’s why Ilya says, “I’m coming to the cottage.” Because who cares about Russia? He still isn’t sure he can have Shane, really have him, out loud like Scott Hunter, but if Scott can kiss his boyfriend after winning the cup, then Ilya can go spend a week or two with Shane at his cottage.
And he… and Shane, can dream of things they always pushed down and try to figure out if there’s a way to make dreams a reality.
Agree? Disagree? What did you think of Heated Rivalry Episode 5 “I’ll Believe in Anything”? Share with us in the comments below!
Episodes 1-5 of Heated Rivalry are now available to stream in the US on HBO Max.
Excellent writing! I am still reeling from such a magnificent tv episode and I agree this is the best show of the year. I thought that Hudson would kill me with all the advertised stills but oh my god Connor murdered me tonight. I’m dead. I can’t! I just can’t!
The lyrics of I’ll Believe in Anything are near perfect.
Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Your blood
Your bones
Your voice
And your ghost
Callback to the crucial exchange in Episode 3.
Perfect!
Great recap and analysis. Truly this show has been so much better than I dared hoped it would be and this episode elevates it to great, memorable must watch TV.
Great review of a truly great episode! The acting by both leads, as well as their supportive female friends, was top-notch! There was so much in this episode and it was all done so very well! The writing, especially Ilya’s Russian declarations to Shane & Shane sharing his truth with Rose and Ilya, the direction, and the ending were all perfect.
You have put this better than the episode itself, I had tears reading it … it was that good ❤️
Thank you so much for this comment, truly! I put a lot of love into my reviews, and I’m glad that shows.
One song that comes to mind seeing Ilya and Shane is Jennifer Hudson’s If This Isn’t Love.