When I was a child, I asked my Mom once what it meant when we said “goodbye” to people. I didn’t understand the concept, because where was the good in saying bye. After all in life the people that we were saying “goodbye” to were important parts of our lives. People we truly cared about and wanted to have an active part in our lives.
She really was never able to explain it to me.
“It’s just a thing we say,” she’d tell me.
But I was always a kid that needed more answers. I always wanted to know the reasoning behind everything. It was important to me to understand things – because I was always a kid driven by emotion.
I’m still an adult driven by the same thing.
I was watching The Vampire Diaries today while talking with a friend. I started to cry when Stefan was shot and even more when we saw Bonnie and Enzo. It got worse when I got to the end and Kai was syphoning all of Damon’s energy.
It’s when my friend asked me, “Why are you crying over a TV show?”
It seems like the easiest question to answer, but it’s so much more than that. I just replied, “I am not ready for goodbye.”
“Goodbyes are easy,” she said. “They really don’t mean anything.”
But the kid in me – the one that always had a million questions wasn’t settling for that. The kid in me finally understood the meaning of saying goodbye.
When you love something/somebody it’s not easy to say goodbye. There is no good in it. Goodbye isn’t about being happy that something is leaving. It’s not about the good of the moment and the good that will come. And sometimes that is hard to say it because you love something so much.
My relationship with The Vampire Diaries has been a tumultuous one. There were weeks when I hated it, weeks when I gave up on it, weeks when I binge watched the episodes that I had sworn I had given up on.
But over the years, The Vampire Diaries has been there for me. It’s been there when I have suffered loss, heartbreak, happiness, sadness, joy, and everything else. It’s been a steady thing in my life.
And sometimes that’s the hardest thing in the world to let go of.
So over the next few weeks I admit – I will have a hard time letting go. I will have a hard time saying goodbye. But it’s because I am thankful for all the joy that it’s given me. I am thankful for all the times that it’s been a bonding moment between me and my friends. I am thankful for all the times that it’s been there and there is no harder goodbye.
But it will always be here for me. And I will forever be thankful for that.
Goodbye doesn’t mean it will be forever be gone. It’ll be in my heart, forever and always. The good part of of bye is that.
I guess that’s the meaning that I was searching for – that the good part is when you love something – no matter if they are with you or apart from you – they are never far from you heart. You can always call upon the memory when they are gone.
The Vampire Diaries airs Friday’s on The CW.
