‘Suits’ 9×04 Review: Kiss Our Ass, Or Kiss Our Asses Goodbye

If you’d asked me last year what was going on, why Suits wasn’t taking the plunge with Darvey, I would have probably gone on a rant about male showrunners, but in the end, I would have probably landed on: they don’t know how to write them together without making it boring. Or they think they don’t know, which is almost as bad in a business where confidence matters.

Because, honestly, what else was I supposed to think?

And then, there’s “Cairo,” then there’s every second Darvey has spent together this season and I just …what? If you could always do this, Aaron Korsh, then why did you make us wait all this while? Or maybe the question isn’t that, maybe the question is: How can a show get it so wrong so many times and then get it so right?

I don’t have an answer, of course, nothing more than maybe, perhaps, this show was always too damn married to the idea of how TV should be, to the conventional wisdom that we (the proverbial we, at that) won’t continue to watch if the will they/won’t they is over. Except I thought we’d thrown that “conventional wisdom” out the window ages ago.

And hey, maybe, because of Suits, because of this season, some other shows will take the plunge way before they should have. If that is true, at least, despite 8 seasons of stringing us along, the legacy of Suits in this regard can be a good one.

Harvey and Donna were always meant to be together. We knew it in season 1. It shouldn’t have taken them – and the writers – till the end of 8 to decide they could go for it. But, I for one, am too pleased about what we’re getting to continue complaining about this any longer. And you, other show, whoever you are, better learn this lesson, and learn it fast.

We love our OTPS together.

So let’s go into the Darvey, what it means to be family, and the character development of “Cairo”:


Donna and Harvey are basically engaged. But then again, what else is new? We didn’t need the conversation in “Cairo” to know this. They’ve been basically engaged since season one. It took Tony Stark WAY less time to marry his Pepper Potts, and Tony Stark took a hell of a long time.

But we know how that story ends. (No, not that way, I’m in denial about that. I meant with the cabin and the kid and the happy life together. Yes.)

All in all, you could say Harvey and Donna are moving too fast, except it’s been nine freaking seasons and who knows how many years because if Korsh can’t count, why am I gonna try to untangle the timeline, but over ten years of this …of being the most important person in each other’s lives. So, no, they’re not moving too fast, they’re making up for lost time.

Of course, this can also feel like a cop-out to some. They aren’t really engaged, after all, even if big words like “she’s the one” and “together forever” have been uttered. And to that I have to say …it’s been 4 episodes. I know we’ve been waiting forever, and they themselves have been acting like this has been going on for ages, but in truth, it hasn’t. And as much as this is TV, there’s still this level of …well, reality to it.

Will it happen for sure? I don’t think the anvils are here for no reason. I think we will get a happily ever after for these two, and whatever that entails, they’ll face that together.

Forever. *wink*


It’s been a long while since this group has made me feel like they were all really and truly a family. I guess that was the point of “Cairo,” of everything that led to it, but can I just say I’m glad we’re here now? I’m glad these people are back to fighting for each other, instead of fighting each other? I have no illusions we can live in this moment of happiness and serenity for long, but I can’t say I haven’t enjoyed it.

Sure, it might sound strange to find family with your coworkers, but how could it be anywhere else for this group of workaholics, intense people? Who else can truly understand them?

The truth is that family isn’t always who you’re born with, family is sometimes a choice, the ones you surround yourself by and the ones you decide to keep in your life, over and over, through good times and bad times. These people have chosen each other again and again, and that makes them family.

It was about time to show Faye that.

Things I think I think:

  • Domestic Darvey is my jam. Though I wouldn’t mind getting to see more of what happens before the domesticity, if you know what I mean.
  • I wish I was as invested in Alex’s problems as I am in Darvey.
  • Or, wait, do I really want that?
  • Oh, Louis, forever “Pulling a Litt,” like my friend Shana calls it.
  • Norma the third? Who does that?
  • Yes, Donna, Harvey would throw himself in front of a train for you.
  • The best Sam is the one telling Alex to go talk to his wife.
  • Why does Faye continue to treat Donna like she’s less? Is there some projecting going on here?
  • If this was really about the vote, she should have approached Harvey and Donna together.
  • So, that means it’s personal. But why? Does she see herself in Donna? Because this is some fucked up shit.
  • We knew she was the one, Harvey, but for you to not just internalize it, but to SAY IT OUT LOUD, is nothing short of amazing.
  • And lol Lily being like well, we been knew, but good on you son for figuring it out.
  • Well, Harvey’s gesture sure backfired, but this isn’t all on Harvey.
  • Best Katrina moment this season: telling Louis not to use their friendship.
  • Louis/Donna/Harvey scenes are my second favorite thing on this show.
  • And yes, Harvey, this is, indeed, all on you.
  • That’s the whole point of the show. Go rewatch the Pilot if you need a reminder.
  • I think my eyes are leaking.
  • Also, that slow walk? DANG.
  • “Kiss our ass, or kiss our ass goodbye” is a DAMN GOOD LINE.
  • Harvey making good with the father-in-law is giving me more feels. I like that they could find common ground, for Donna. Because they both love her so much.
  • You’re making me feel like Rachel never answers the phone, Suits.
  • Now THIS is Casual Darvey.
  • This conversation. I need a pillow to muffle my SCREAMS.
  • “You know we’re gonna be together forever, right?”/”Well, no if that’s how you’re gonna ask me.”
  • I don’t even think he was asking, Donna. He was assuming.
  • But why is the episode called “Cairo” again?

Agree? Disagree? What did you think of “Cairo”? Share with us in the comments below!

Suits airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on USA Network.


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