It’s the end of the year, which means it’s time for end of the year lists. Though I am not the biggest fan of them this year, I have to admit, it does give us a moment to look on the good of the year versus the all out misery of 2020.
And being as Christmas movies are my thing, I thought bringing them down to my Top 10 of 2020 wouldn’t be a thing. However, it’s like rejecting some of my babies and that is hard.
So how does one do this? How does one look at all the things that they’ve seen this year (and trust US – that’s a lot of movies) and decide. Well, simply put – you get drunk and you go to town.
What are my judgements being based on? Well the vodka, of course. We’ll be rating on a sliding scale from 1-5 Christmas Trees, the more the better.
Here’s what we’re rating on.
- Sex Appeal: The sex appeal of the characters.
- Drunk or Sober Watch Factor: If you need to watch it drunk or sober.
- Binge Eating Need: Is this shit going to depress you to the point you need to eat or make you entranced to the point you’re willing to forget about the pizza you ordered.
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: Does it make you feel happy?
- Quality of Christmas Ass: Is there anyone in this film you’d like to have inappropriate thoughts about?
- Cheesiness Factor: Is it cheesy? Is it good?
- Rewatchability: Will you watch it again?
Yes, you’re welcome fam – this is Erin’s really drunk “top 10 Christmas films of 2020” list.
HOLIDATE
Emma Roberts, I love you. But hey, if we’re being honest Luke Bracey stole the show here. Sorry, I get distracted by a set of good abs and an accent. I’m a woman. I have hormones.
Girl who can’t get her shit together, everyone judges her cause she’s not in a relationship, family is all up in her business, and she enjoys lounge wear more than anything.
I get it. I relate to it.
But I also cheered these two on from the beginning. It was predictable, but it was funny. It kept you cheering them on. Cheering them on to bang town, if you know what I mean.
- Sex Appeal: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Drunk or Sober Watch Factor: 🤷♀️ Great both ways (I’d suggest no Vodka though, cause it fucks with the accent)
- Binge Eating Need: 🌲 (you’ll be too busy looking at Luke Bracey’s abs)
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: 🌲🌲 (It’s more about what it does for your hormones)
- Quality of Christmas Ass: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲 (Luke Bracey is a treasure)
- Cheesiness Factor: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲 (the so cheesy it’s great)
- Rewatchability: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
JINGLE JANGLE: A CHRISTMAS JOURNEY
I can’t crudely rate this film as even I have respect and this movie is absolutely beautiful! The movie fills you with love, Christmas spirit, and you can’t take your eyes off the screen.
What’s it about?
Decades after his apprentice betrays him, a once joyful toy maker finds new hope when his bright young granddaughter appears on his doorstep.
It’s even got original songs from a bunch of writers, including John Legend.
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
THE PRINCESS SWITCH: SWITCHED AGAIN
I don’t even care what the cheese factor is here, because I LOVE this franchise. It’s everything that I love to see in movies.
In this part of the franchise, “When Duchess Margaret unexpectedly inherits the throne to Montenaro and hits a rough patch with boyfriend Kevin, it’s up to her double, Princess Stacy, to get these star-crossed lovers back together.”
I wish that it was more drama filled, that we would have seen more of Fiona, because that scheming bitch is funny.
Look, who doesn’t like a movie where you get to be princess, people fall in love, and all that jazz. Everyone was as corny and cheesy as they were supposed to be.
But I am gonna be real – I watch this for Sam Palladio and his sex appeal. That man is hot. I mean Vanessa Hudgens is hot too – but Sam as a prince? Count me and my hormones there.
- Sex Appeal: 🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Drunk or Sober Watch Factor: 🌲🌲
- Binge Eating Need: 🌲
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: 🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Ass: 🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Cheesiness Factor: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Rewatchability: 🌲🌲
HAPPIEST SEASON
If you haven’t seen Happiest Season, get yourself a Hulu subscription and get on top of it. Look, everything goes back to Twilight and we will always worship at the altar of K-Stew.
What’s it about?
A young woman with a plan to propose to her girlfriend while at her family’s annual holiday party discovers her partner hasn’t yet come out to her conservative parents.
This movie isn’t your typical holiday movie, but it’s got all the goodness, and representation.
Daniel Levy will steal every scene, we forewarn you. But we’re loving the entire cast. Watch it now!
- Sex Appeal: 🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Drunk or Sober Watch Factor: 🌲🌲🌲
- Binge Eating Need: 🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: 🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Ass: 🌲🌲🌲
- Cheesiness Factor: 🌲🌲
- Rewatchability: 🌲🌲🌲🌲
CHRISTMAS CHRONICLES 2
It’s Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, and you can’t go wrong with these two. Like in life or in the movies, you should be paying attention to all the things that they do.
As well as the fact it’s directed by Home Alone, Home Alone 2, and Stepmom director, Chris Columbus. It’s a magical adventure to stop some ruthless teenager from cancelling Christmas forever.
Doesn’t the world know to never give a teenager that much power?
This movie will definitely put you in a Christmas mood.
- Sex Appeal: 🌲
- Drunk or Sober Watch Factor: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Binge Eating Need: 🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Ass: 🌲
- Cheesiness Factor: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Rewatchability: 🌲🌲🌲
CHRISTMAS WALTZ
Look, I love a good Hallmark movie and Lacey Chabert is great in all of the Hallmark movies that I have ever watched her in. Also she was in Christmas in Rome, which is one of my favorites.
Then there is Will Kemp – who was in Spinning Out, which means I am obsessed.
But the whole premise, “After Avery’s (Chabert) storybook Christmas wedding is canceled unexpectedly, dance instructor Roman (Kemp) helps her rebuild her dreams.”
Yup – count me in for all the romantical shit.
- Sex Appeal: 🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Drunk or Sober Watch Factor: 🌲🌲🌲
- Binge Eating Need: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: 🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Ass: 🌲🌲🌲
- Cheesiness Factor:🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Rewatchability: 🌲🌲
CHRISTMAS ON THE SQUARE
It’s Dolly Parton. She is an icon. If I have to explain to you while nothing she does it wrong and why we should just count everything that she does as the best, well…
You need to reevaluate life choices.
A woman who plans to sell a small town without regard for the people who live there receives a visit from an angel – seems simple enough. But it’s more than that.
Plus there is all sorts of new Dolly music in it – so there is that.
- Sex Appeal: 🌲 (you can’t look at a Dolly Parton movie like that. you have to look at the greatness that she does)
- Drunk or Sober Watch Factor: 🌲🌲🌲
- Binge Eating Need: 🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Ass: 🌲 (again, can’t look at a Dolly Parton wholesome movie with Vodka eyes)
- Cheesiness Factor: 🌲🌲
- Rewatchability: 🌲🌲🌲
CANDY CANE CHRISTMAS
A woman who loves it when her town cares too much about Christmas is very sad when people decide they’re going to skip it this year. But perhaps once there are fewer decorations, she can learn the true meaning of Christmas.
True story, I hate Christmas, so I didn’t relate to this one at the beginning. But the chemistry of Beverley Mitchell and Mark Ghanim, well that did me in. And that romantic gesture he did.
I was all in.
- Sex Appeal: 🌲🌲
- Drunk or Sober Watch Factor: 🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Binge Eating Need: 🌲
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Ass: 🌲🌲🌲
- Cheesiness Factor: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Rewatchability: 🌲🌲
THE CHRISTMAS SETUP
I haven’t seen this one yet, but it makes the list cause it’s LGBTQ+ and it’s got Fran Drescher, and the premise is toooo cute.
The Christmas Setup chronicles the romantic adventures of Hugo, a New York City lawyer who returns home to Milwaukee. He’s set up with an old flame and as they enjoy the local holidays together, Hugo and Patrick’s attraction to each other is undeniable but as Hugo receives word of a big promotion requiring a move to London, he must decide what is most important to him.
Count us in!
ONE ROYAL HOLIDAY
When Anna offers a stranded mother and son shelter from a blizzard, she learns that they are the royal family of Galwick and that they are both in need of a little Christmas magic.
Not gonna lie – this movie kinda sucked, but it has Aaron Tveit in it and he’s got hair you want to pull, so I am about it.
And I will overlook the sheer badness of this movie.
Because again – Aaron Tveit.
When Anna (Osnes) offers a stranded mother (Clark) and son (Tveit) shelter in a blizzard, she learns that they are the Royal Family of Galwick. Anna shows the Prince how they do Christmas in her hometown, encouraging him to open his heart and be true to himself.
- Sex Appeal: 🌲🌲🌲
- Drunk or Sober Watch Factor: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Binge Eating Need: 🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Cheer: 🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Quality of Christmas Ass: 🌲🌲🌲
- Cheesiness Factor:🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲
- Rewatchability: 🌲