(Warning: Spoilers for My Life with the Walter Boys 1×04 ahead.)
My Life with the Walter Boys 1×04 is a strong showing of how grief can sneak up on a person who’s otherwise been managing fairly well. In this case, it’s triggered by Lucy’s birthday and made even worse when Parker accidentally breaks Jackie’s teapot — something we later learn was part of a birthday tradition for her and her late sister. After seeing a treasured memory quite literally shattered, Jackie makes some decisions that are not entirely in character but also not entirely unheard of when someone’s trying to run away from grief. And, what goes down is really fun — if, occasionally, difficult — to watch.
The episode also features a subplot or two involving the adults, but those continue to kind of just be…there. For the most part, at least. The Walters’ money troubles are a very real consideration, so having a family story that actually acknowledges what most families have to deal with is never a bad thing. Besides, let’s be real here: We’re very much not complaining about getting more time with Sarah Rafferty, her hair up like that, and some low key Donna Paulsen behavior. Just saying.
Anyway. Jackie’s story is the main focus here, so…
A study in grief
My Life with the Walter Boys 1×04 manages to pull off something very tricky: “Nineteen” paints us a very clear picture of how much Jackie is struggling with her loss without getting too heavy. On its surface, the hour is kid of fun, even. Jackie becomes “first team leader” after outrunning everyone at track practice. She skips school for the first time in her life, gets hilariously drunk, and — of course — she falls deeper into her love triangle with two of the Walter boys. But then, there’s reality.
Jackie’s big victory at practice is immediately tarnished by her coach having to stop herself, mid-sentence, from asking for a parent’s signature. And, as she tells Erin at the party, she only even won that race because she “was lucky today. Just…really needed to run.” Speaking of lucky, there’s the completely heinous — and, unfortunately, true to life. Some people are just cruel — gossip she overhears in the bathroom at school that leads to her accepting Cole’s offer to ditch class in the first place. Today isn’t about luck at all, but all anyone around Jackie sees is the “interesting” new girl who has a ton of money — because her family all died — and is good at just about everything she tries.
None of those assumptions are true, especially on a day when Jackie feels her losses more deeply than usual. And, although most of the immature — and, frankly just plain mean — people around her don’t recognize it, Jackie is hanging on by a thread. It’s all there in Nikki Rodriguez’s performance. Right from the beginning, she delivers it all: a hurt reaction to her calendar alert for Lucy’s birthday and that too-quick dismissal when Alex has questions about her teapot. Then, she just looks…small and broken, even as she clenches her jaw a little bit in anger, as Jackie overhears everything in the bathroom. As another highlight, the faraway look in Rodriguez’s eyes, both fond and a little sad, as Jackie reminisces about living in Lucy’s shadow is everything.
Because that’s how it goes. That’s how we remember stories about the people we love after we’ve lost them. And, yes, being in that kind of pain because it’s an important day — compounded with the accident that opens the episode — makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do. So, Jackie’s decision to just…give up and break some rules, to stop being the good girl, fits here. Additionally, her little “not today” when Danny offers to talk if she ever wants to works as another lesson. Sometimes, we do want to talk but can only handle so much. Just like Jackie does here, with giving as much of her memory and as much of her grief as she can to Danny without going too far.
It is, however, still important for us to note that even with all of this relatable storytelling around loss, My Life with the Walter Boys 1×04 remains, somehow, light. Part of that is about all the different plot points we already discussed above. But it’s mostly all about the execution. Rodriguez gets to really lay it on thick in the more hilarious “Drunk!Jackie” moments. Without that extra element of hard work from her and the reactions of everyone around her — most notably, Noah LaLonde as Cole — the two different tones “Nineteen” strikes would come across as catastrophically at odds. Instead, they fit together in a particularly natural and human way.
We pause for our grief. On these tougher days, we let it in — maybe even allow it to make some (bad) decisions for us. But, at least in the most uplifting stories, we also still find a way to live. Jackie is most certainly doing that part, mistakes and all.
Boy drama? Boy. Drama.
By the end of My Life with the Walter Boys 1×04, things with Alex and Cole are…messier than ever. Do we even know who we’d choose at this point? Honestly? No. Most of “Nineteen” seems to point us toward Cole as being the one. After all, no one needs to ask him to start cleaning up the mess with the broken teapot. He just does it. And he’s all Mr. Chivalry when Jackie is cold after getting into the car, doing that trademark “high school boyfriend” move of loaning her his jacket. Then, there’s the shameless flirting from Jackie — both while she’s drunk and with the whole power outage. Like, what even is this? (We’re thinking of calling it “flirts in nerd.”)
“My ice-tray battery won the sixth grade science fair? So. You might want to stand back”
Also of note: Jackie opens up to Cole about why Parker’s clumsiness upset her so much in the first place. During all of that, Cole is incredibly reassuring and supportive. Plus, there’s…whatever this is:
“…clever, cool, funny, beautiful…fearless…everybody loved her.”
“Sounds just like you.”
Additionally, if we want to make a choice solely based on chemistry, LaLonde and Rodriguez probably win this one for Noah and Jackie. But…well. Ashby Gentry also has fantastic chemistry with Rodriguez. Alex and Jackie don’t get a “sizzling romantic moment in front of the fire” kind of moment here, sure. But they do get the world’s sweetest heart-eyes during their almost kiss. While we’re at it, of the two almost kisses, Alex and Jackie’s easily wins. During truth or dare, Cole seems to go for it more to cause trouble with Erin than for any other reason. (Awful, asshole decision.) Plus, the whole projectile vomiting thing kinda kills the mood. Meanwhile, Alex turns down something he very much is into because he wants to make sure Jackie isn’t just doing it because she’s drunk.
Take notes, boys: That’s how it’s done.
We should probably have a little bit more clarity here than our teenage main character does. But. Well. We don’t. Quite frankly, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Any time a love triangle has a clear answer but keeps dragging on, we stop caring. Here, though…we get your struggle, Jackie. We very much do. (But, like. Please, for the love of God, go to literally anyone other than Grace for advice.)
More on My Life with the Walter Boys 1×04
- “Almost lost you there.” “Can’t get rid of me that easy.” Wild that the episode opens with this level of flirting with Alex but still winds up feeling weighted more toward Cole.
- “He falls so easy, I almost can’t watch.” “Then, stop looking.” Weird how the friend gets this part right but then is all in on the bitchy gossip.
- Pretty bad when the fully-grown Walter boy can’t even pick up on obvious discomfort rolling off the woman he wants to marry in waves. Why are men.
- Skylar giving cute little Nathan a chance would be weird because Jackie lives with him, but Jackie catching feelings for both of Nathan’s brothers…isn’t. Sure.
- “Why don’t you run five more laps instead of your mouth?” Yes. Please. Grab Pagie and WhatsHerName, too.
- Huge fan of the handwashing signs. Next, do airborne transmission.
- If this were a slasher flick, the entire theater audience would be hollering for the killer to come visit these bitches in the bathroom.
- “That Jackie girl is, like, cornering the market on all the available boys.” Probably because y’all suck.
- The “helpless orphan thing” and “won the lottery” comments are so disgusting. The whole thing is trash. Yeet them both into the sun.
- “You keeping secrets from me, New York?” Oh, ok. He can read her and call her out on her fake fine BS. Shippy senses: Activated.
- …but also, maybe we’re having a lot of feelings about an empty desk. Get you someone who longs for you the way Alex does for Jackie when he’s gazing at that chair.
- “She’d never.” Alisha Newton really has the sarcastic, taunting mean girl voice down.
- “Wo-ow! Ok! Angry lumberjack is a new look for you!” “Did you just make a joke?” “…did I? Maybe.” THE GIGGLE. This series is a comedy.
- “Me? No! I’m a good girl, didn’t you know? I don’t drink. Or skip class! I don’t need rescuing, I get all the best grades. I lead the track team…and everybody loves me!!!” Brilliant delivery with the sing-song voice and the way the mocking self-deprecation just…escalates. (But is still hilariously drunk.)
- “But he always comes back around eventually. Like a…boomerang.” I had one of those once. Run.
- “Don’t all actors want to be the lead?”
- Tara remains irritating.
- “I know. But it’s there if you need it.” Mother Sarah Rafferty.
- No, seriously: The scene with Alex and Katherine is just…really nice and, while it could be a throwaway, just tells us so much about this kid, how he’s feeling, what kind of relationship he has with his mom, and what he does as his own way of escaping. (Much healthier than Cole and Jackie’s choice for an outlet in this episode.)
- …but also: Mother Donna Paulsen. Get you a mommy who just…smiles at you while you do whatever it is you’re passionate about.
- Danny is the real MVP. Doesn’t get offended when Jackie doesn’t want to talk more, makes sure folks get home safely, tries to get Cole to feel better about Dylan getting his number…
- “Where have you guys been? Oh. Wow. That’s a look. Can’t wait to hear this explanation” And she’s just…leaning against the wall with those eyes bugging out of her head. Not a single second goes to waste — not one.
- “Where have you been. Whoa. Where have you been?” “…I already did that part.” A comedy.
- “Do you even understand everything that she’s been through? And how hard all of this is? Look: we’re supposed to be making this easier for her. Ok? So that you have better. Clear?” Can George go yell at the whole school?
- Get you someone whose eyes shine when they look at you.
- Also: Water and painkillers. Yes. Good boy, Alex, being all thoughtful or whatever.
- “For being you.” “Well…I don’t know how to be anybody else.” Good — don’t try
- The physical comedy coming down those stairs…
- “I mean, not that that happened very often, of course. It was just like once or twice, or…ten times a semester.” It’s the conspiratorial tone for me.
- “Field hockey uses a ball.” Super touching moment, great work from Rodriguez as Jackie struggles through her whole spiel about being an older sister. And then, boom. Deadpan. Love it. Alix West Lefler is an underrated gem. See also: “I’m used to dealing with…with…that.”
- “Just…promise not to make any big decisions without consulting me first, ok?” Hard pass. And why did we even need this? The action speaks for itself. No need to recap it all for us while it’s still happening.
- “But compared to how my family makes it, there’s maybe a tiny dash of chili powder in the milk.”
- “Truthfully…sometimes, I just feel kinda…broken?” Same.
- Alex doth protest too much.
- “My mom always said: Nothing is so broken that it can’t be fixed.” Sweet callback to the broken moment? Yes. A good message? Eh. We’ll see how it plays out. (Youths, please don’t try to “fix” your love interests. You can not. Get out if you feel like you’re in a situation where you need to.)
- “Yeah. I was wondering when you were gonna tell me about that…We share a bank account, honey.” This is such a Donna thing. Fight me.
- And here we have an awkward standoff to end the episode. Again.
Thoughts on My Life with the Walter Boys 1×04? Leave us a comment!
My Life with the Walter Boys is now streaming on Netflix.
List of episode reviews are below –
- ‘My Life with the Walter Boys’ 1×01 Review: “Welcome to Colorado”
- ‘My Life with the Walter Boys’ 1×02 Review: “Live a Little”
- ‘My Life with the Walter Boys’ 1×03 Review: “The Cole Effect”
- ‘My Life with the Walter Boys’ 1×04 Review: “Nineteen”
- ‘My Life with the Walter Boys’ 1×05 Review: “Thanksgiving”
- ‘My Life with the Walter Boys’ 1×06 Review: “Baggage”
- My Life With The Walter Boys 1×07 Review: Small Town Rumors
- My Life With The Walter Boys 1×08 Review: Spinning Out
- My Life With The Walter Boys 1×09 Review: Revolutions
- My Life With The Walter Boys 1×10 Review: Happily Ever After