Red One feels like The Fast and Furious was injected into the veins of Christmas. And honestly? Work. The film, which stars Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans, opens it’s official trailer with J.K. Simmons lifting weights with Johnson spotting him. There’s nothing outlandish about it and you’re lured into a false sense of security that this movie is going to be Simmons and Johnson on some sort of adventure before Evans comes into the scene. It’s not until they call Simmons “Nick,” jingle bells sound off in the background with the music, and they reveal the reindeers.
J.K. Simmons isn’t some random guy named Nick. He’s Saint Nicholas. He’s Santa Claus. And Johnson is basically part of his security team.
What follows is absolutely insane and goes back to me saying this feels like The Fast and Furious was injected into the veins of Christmas. Because Santa Claus gets kidnapped. By who? *insert shrug here* But Johnson and *checks notes* Lucy Liu need to bring an expert on the team to save Santa Claus. That’s where Evans comes in, proving his true villainy by *checks notes again* stealing candy from a baby. Oh yeah, he’s on the naughty list for sure. But that’s not where the absolutely wild ride ends.
There are bears. Not just any bears. There are polar bears who walk on two feet, speak, and have armor. In a post #IChooseTheBear world, there will be fanart of this bear and not of Johnson and Evans. Even more so after the polar bear literally had swagger as he entered the scene. Oh and let’s not forget you know we’re going to get scenes of the bear kicking butt, making people in the theaters say either A) WHAT A BADASS POLAR BEAR! B) Has this awakened something in me? C) Oh, this is right up my alley.
Either way, Red One has buff polar bear operatives and we can’t help but wonder if The Tooth Fairy or The Easter Bunny are real and if they’re involved with the kidnapping of Santa Claus?! *looks around suspiciously because Krampus is too obvious*
No matter who was responsible for the kidnapping, the fact remains that this movie is wild and it works. Hollywood is too focused sometimes on creating prestige movies or throwing out sequel after sequel. Red One is admittedly goofy even if it’s a semi-original idea. But I’ve watched enough movies like this (e.g. the entire Fast and Furious franchise) to know what I’m getting into because this movie toes the line of stupid while also being totally serious and delivering some great one liners I still can’t believe they said with a straight face. That’s especially true with Liu’s speech to Evans which basically was every action flicks line where “the [important political figure] has been kidnapped and you’re our only hope.”
Red One looks ridiculous and like I’m going to laugh the entire time. And I’m ok with that. I might even go and watch it in theaters.
Watch the trailer for Red One below:
Red One hits theaters on November 15, 2024.
