The Bachelorette 21×01 introduces us to the 25 men vying for Jenn Tran’s heart, and their intros are as …unique as we’ve come to expect from this franchise and reality TV in general. First, we get a bit of Jenn and what it means for her to be the first Asian American Bachelorette in the franchise’s history. We also see a little bit of her history and why it means so much to her to be chosen, which is always something significant because we typically come into The Bachelorette with women who weren’t the first choice in a previous season of The Bachelor, which you know, is awkward.
All of that feels a little bit cookie-cutter. I won’t say we’ve seen it before, because Jenn is an interesting enough protagonist, but the show doesn’t get exciting till we get to the men and we can start to go huh, what?, go away now and okay, I like you. That’s typically the way it is.
Since some of the men did get cut at the end of this episode, I won’t spend too much time on them (sorry guys), but I do want to talk about the intros because eh, my dudes … what?
Marcus got out of the limo first, and he made a good first impression, asking Jenn how she was feeling. But then in his intro video, I caught a glimpse of an American flag, and look, any man who packs an American flag is a red flag in my book. Sorry, not sorry.
Marvin literally spoke French. That’s all. It’s not enough when people are doing outlandish things out here, Marvin.
Then came Sam, who had to inform us that he was a virgin. Which isn’t actually a big deal, except he kept trying to make it one by constantly bringing it up. What is a big deal? The fact that he curled his eyelashes. Why aren’t we focusing on THAT?
Grant tried to impress us with beatboxing, even though no one has been impressed by beatboxing in approximately twenty years, and he also tried to impress us with basketball and being shirtless. The second part was a bit more impressive.
Sam M. was smooth, I’ll give him that. He had jokes, and though he came across as a typical Southern white boy, he had the ex cheated on him story and the chemistry with Jenn that puts him as one of the early favorites for me.
Thomas M. had a friendship bracelet! And his background is very similar to Jenn’s. Not sure I see the chemistry being all there yet, but I’m sensing there’s enough for Jenn to give him a chance to win her over, and who knows?
Brendan is a no for me because, yeah, chili peppers dude? That’s your flex? Thanks but no thanks.
Dakota is cute, but he’s approximately one of like five men who thought of bringing booze, so…
And all we saw of Kevin was the skis
Spencer got better once we got inside, but if I’d had to judge him just by the intro and those weird pocket squares he would have been a hard no, I promise.
Brian also had alcohol! In like, syringes. It’s such a dudebro thing to do that I’m not at all charmed.
Matt had ginger shots. Slightly better, but also …eh, no.
Austin had a fire extinguisher. Better than alcohol, but also just not that great.
I almost want to say it was better than Ricky‘s poem, though.
Tomas A had puppies. PUPPIES. Look, I’m not sure how you beat puppies. Puppies are the absolutely best idea. And the comparison? You have won this round, my dude.
Jonathon is my least favorite contestant ever, I promise. He came in a gurney, his face was covered in bandages, he flashed Jenn because he was wearing a hospital gurney and NOTHING UNDERNEATH and he had this whole thing about wanting Jenn to see what’s inside before seeing his face. This isn’t Love is Blind, my dude. Please get with the program.
Aaron came in a bike, which is objectively cool. I’ll give him that. Jenn seemed to like it too.
Jeremy drove in on a red Corvette and talked about his dick, so Jeremy is a dick.
Dylan is cute and he’s a medical student. A bit too young, I think, but I like Dylan nonetheless. His backstory for why he chose medicine was cute, too.
John‘s whole story about why he brought a pedestal was even better than the pedestal, so he can stay.
Brett was cute, but I got nothing from him other than his suit made him look super handsome.
Same with Moze. Hey, that’s a cute suit. What else?
Jahaan brought some smooth talking points, what with the chess talk. That’s literally all we got, though.
Devin brought the confidence. He’s so loud. I’m not sure yet if I like that or not.
Hakeem, my man. The balloons were a choice. I still can’t decide if a good one or a bad one, but you were at least memorable, I’ll give you that.
The drama starts when we get inside, of course. Though in true The Bachelorette fashion, I think we’re just building up to drama and it always seems like we expect The Bachelor to have way more drama and then it’s The Bachelorette that delivers. Who says men cannot be messy?
First Impression rose goes to Sam M, to absolutely no one’s surprise. First kiss too. Or kisses. That was a full-on makeout session. He seems like the early favorite and I have a feeling he’s going to make it far and be in the middle of the drama. I look forward to finding out how much of a messy bitch he truly is.
The other roses go to Dylan, Tomas, Spencer, Grant, Marcus, Thomas A, John M, Jeremy, Devin, Brian, Aaron, Jahaan, Hakeem, Jonathon, Austin, Marvin, and Sam N. From those, I’d say the standouts in this episode other than Sam M. are Thomas A, Spencer, Jonathon (ugh) and Sam N. There’s always a wildcard, and I won’t even try to anticipate who that might be. I will say that the trailer at the end of the episode is working hard to make us believe Sam N. is the drama. This doesn’t mean he isn’t the drama, but might mean he isn’t the ONLY drama.
Also, who from Jenn’s past might be coming back?? Is it even someone we know? And what in the world is she doing that no other Bachelorette has done? At this point that’s a short list, lol.
We don’t know, but I look forward to finding out. I love mess and this season looks like it’s going to give us a lot of it.
Are you excited for this season of The Bachelorette? Who is your favorite so far? Share with us in the comments below!
The Bachelorette airs on Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.
