It hasn’t been that long since we saw the first teaser for Dance Moms: A New Era. But, in case you missed the news: We now have a full trailer! And if there’s already so much going on in just these couple of minutes, we’re sure no one is prepared for what’s coming when the full series drops on Hulu in August. One thing we know about reality TV is it’s going to get messy. Another thing we know: We’ve already got some dance moms on our list.
In the first place, we’ve got one mom telling her kid “no drama queen, ok? No drama queen.” Based on that, we assume she’s telling on herself. So, we’re willing to bet the mom herself will, in fact, be a drama queen. We also hear Drama Queen Mom saying she needs to “keep her on track” in a voiceover — or, as I believe I called them during the original Dance Moms run, the bitchover — as we see a clip of her kid at the barre, working hard on getting that leg up higher in second. Kinda digging seeing the reality of actual training footage, which even includes a couple other girls doing some ab work. But, full offense: kinda worried about parents working kids too hard and over-training to the point of breaking them. Dance teachers who know what they’re doing — not overbearing stage moms — should train dancers. Period.
Which, sadly, brings us to our next point: Some of the competition clips make it seem like we’re going to love some of the choreography. And the very straight up and down, nice turns on stage are a huge improvement from some of the, frankly, rough ones in other clips. However, we do have concerns. Because at least one dancer’s journey looks like it’s coming to an abrupt and painful end…and that’s not something we’re looking forward to watching unfold. To be clear, we know injuries happen even in the best of circumstances. (Literally, you can be in a very safe, supportive environment, be able to do a step in your sleep, and still somehow screw it up and cause a chronic injury. A friend told me! Oh, let’s not lie: I’m the friend.)
So, we’re not going to make accusations about how the injury in the Dance Moms: A New Era trailer actually occurred until we witness it (against our will) for ourselves. But — and it’s a but one here — even hinting that a child “was a little extra when she hurt herself” is horrible. Have we learned nothing from the toxic, “win at all costs” mentality in, say, USA Gymnastics? Friends, there’s cooking up reality TV drama, and then there’s just being cruel. To children. Who are hurt. So, that’s another mom we definitely know, ahead of time, to be extra wary of. Like, can she even do any of the things these girls do, often while in “minor” pain anyway? Gonna go out on a limb and guess not.
We’ll leave you on a happy note, though. Kinda here for Miss Glo’s “next big team” pep talk right there at the end. Like, it sounds sane instead of screeching at the kids immediately before a performance. (Unlike, you know, a certain someone.) At the end of the day, for as much fun as it is to watch all the mama drama, here’s hoping we’ve learned at least something going into this reboot. And, if not. Well. At least that will give us a ton of things to kvetch about.
Watch the full Dance Moms: A New Era trailer here.
So, let’s speculate: Which of the new dance moms is giving you the worst vibes? Leave us a comment!
You can stream all 10 episodes Dance Moms: A New Era on Hulu beginning August 7.
