Ever since the death of Bobby, the 118 on 9-1-1 have been shattered. And that includes Buck and Eddie. In 9-1-1 Season 8 Episode 17 “Don’t Drink the Water,” we saw the grief that both of these characters were carrying explode. And it’s caused a lot of conversation and debate online as to the why. Why did they fight? What were they hiding? Did they cross the line? The answer isn’t simple and it’s not pretty. But the fact remains that Buck and Eddie are stronger than ever.
There’s also been a lot of conversation about who was right and who was wrong during this kitchen fight. When it comes to grief, everyone’s a loser. Buck lost a captain and someone he thought of as a father. And Eddie lost a captain and the person he felt saved his life. They share the pain and the loss. So if you’re looking to place the blame anywhere when it comes to that kitchen fight, don’t place it on Eddie. Don’t place it on Buck. Place it on grief and keep your blatant favoritism or racism out of this fandom and TV show.
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In Defense of Eddie
When it comes to the kitchen fight on 9-1-1 Season 8 Episode 17, it’s the comments about Eddie Diaz that really make me wonder if viewers have ever understood his character. Because Eddie was not abusive when he pointed his finger at Buck. But somehow, people on the internet have transformed a scene about grief into one of violence. And it’s a gross misunderstanding of how Eddie is begging for the one person who always sees him and walks this world together with him, to notice him, his grief, and how both of them are in this together.
Eddie pushes Buck, not physically, because he’s itching to call out his best friend. He knows that Buck is struggling, and he’s having a hard time reaching his best friend. Additionally, Buck is testing everyone else’s grief while acting like he’s got everything together. Also, let’s throw on top of that the fact that Eddie is so used to Buck reading him so easily that he doesn’t have to dig through those sad and dark emotions to verbalize what he needs. And part of that isn’t fair of Eddie. He should be able to contextualize how he’s feeling to Buck. At the same time, it’s fair of Eddie to point out that while Buck has been spiraling, he hasn’t asked Eddie how it was for him to get that call.
Like Buck, Eddie wants to be seen. And besides Christopher, the most important person in his life isn’t seeing him or the grief he’s experiencing. Buck is instead trying to gauge Eddie’s grief while ignoring his own and acting like articles or tests online can help him gauge where in their grief Buck’s loved ones are. And Eddie knows what grief is like. He knows it’s messy and it’s rough and it tears people apart. But he’s in a position in his life where he knows Buck is the kind of person that he can share the ugly and raw emotions with and they’ll be okay. Having that certainty with someone is a powerful thing and so liberating. And Eddie has that with Buck and is reaching out for it in this kitchen fight.
Altogether, that kitchen fight between Eddie and Buck in “Don’t Drink the Water” was one of wanting to take care of each other, combined with wanting to be seen. And when the fight was over and the dust had settled, Eddie didn’t just suddenly bring Chris. He wouldn’t do that to his son. Bringing Chris to Buck was always the plan. And when Eddie planned it, he and Buck were even deeper into their grief. So while we’re talking about Eddie in this episode, I’d like there to be a little bit more grace for the way that Eddie handled things before, during, and after that fight. Because at the end of the day, grief is messy, and everyone loses. But you survive at each other’s side. And that’s what Eddie and Buck are doing.
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In Defense of Buck
Buck wasn’t being a brat in the kitchen fight with Eddie. Instead, he was centering himself when it came to his grief without knowing it. For Buck, he’s been spinning out so hard that he thinks he’s standing still and everyone else is moving away from him. That’s why he’s giving everybody those grief exams without them knowing, and why his confession at church was one of feeling like his family was slipping through his fingers, one life at a time. In a twisted way, he’s trying to hold it together so much, or be there for others, that he’s not seeing their pain. Instead, he’s using his pain to fuel him to be there for others.
During the kitchen fight, Buck asks Eddie if he thought Buck wouldn’t be happy for him when it came to the firefighter job in El Paso. And then later on, when they were talking about the passing of Bobby specifically, Buck turned around a comment made by Eddie and gently questioned if Eddie thought Buck didn’t do everything in his power to save Bobby. This is Buck centering himself. But I don’t think it’s done maliciously. Buck has grown by leaps and bounds on 9-1-1. There’s not an evil bone in that man’s body. If anything, he’s nurturing to the point where others wish that he would see himself like they do and that he would give himself the grace that Buck gives everyone else.
This kitchen fight is exactly what Buck needed. He needed someone to see past the walls that he had put up and confront him and his need to protect others and not take care of himself, while also arming himself with so much knowledge in the hopes of not missing anything when it came to his loved ones. And I think a small and raw part of Buck that felt like Eddie was abandoning him for El Paso (again) was the trigger that made the “I’m ok” exterior crack. Buck just wanted to be chosen and seen, just like Eddie. At the same time, being seen is terrifying and never easy. That’s especially true when you’re as close to someone as Buck is to Eddie. But it’s that closeness, that confidence that they will be fine no matter what, that allows Buck to let Eddie carry some of the weight of his grief alongside him the following day when Chris and Tia Pepa arrive.
MORE: Have you listened to the Tales From the 118 podcast?
In Defense of Buddie
The number one thing that people need to remember about Buddie is that they’re partners first, best friends second, workmates third. Their lives revolve around each other, no matter how far apart they are. And they are so intrinsically tied together that sometimes it’s hard to see where one ends and the other starts. And that’s why the kitchen fight was so explosive. Because they were stuck in a feedback loop together.
Let me break it down a little bit more.
Buck and Eddie were trying to provoke each other in that kitchen fight. And they were doing so because they usually can read each other really well. It’s like breathing for these two because they’re constantly in each other’s pockets. And right now they can’t connect. And it’s not because either of them did something wrong. They can’t connect because they grieve in two distinctly different ways. Within that grieving is a desperate need to take care of each other while ignoring what they need as individuals, but also as partners.
And though I think the fight was unfair from both of them, they needed this moment. They needed this moment to be a little angry, a little messy, and a little dramatic. Now it’s no longer simmering underneath the surface, both of them uncertain how to talk to each other. Now they both know that they are hiding and in pain while also trying to look out for each other. That knowledge brings freedom. And the morning after, when Eddie got Chris and Tia Pepa, it was acknowledging that they messed up but that they’ll be okay. Why? Because they’re taking this grief together.
It’s like I said earlier, Eddie and Buck are partners first. And being a partner to someone means seeing the messy bits and deciding, “I’m still in this with you, and I know you’re in this with me.” And I acknowledge that maybe some therapy would do these two well. But this is grief we’re talking about. Despite multiple books being published on this topic, there is no one way to grieve. All there is are the people who hold your hand and weather the storm with you, especially after kitchen fights. That’s what Buck and Eddie are doing. And that’s why I know they’ll be okay.
9-1-1 airs on Thursdays on ABC.
